i can't forgive him! please help me
@confusedheart (207)
Philippines
April 27, 2007 2:20am CST
i had this friend whom i treated as a best friend before. my feelings developed for him and i realized that what i felt for him was something much deeper. i did everything that he asked for but still he won't notice me. worse, he treated me like dirt. he would hit me in the face whenever i do something that displeases him. he constantly reminds me that i am nothing but an idiot for him. still, i continued to love him, serving him all the while.
it has been a year since we parted ways and since i decided to forget my feelings for him. but still i can't forgive him. the hurt is still there. i don't want to hold grudges. i need your opinion, advices, anything... what do i do to make my heart forgive him?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@mystery5 (350)
• India
27 Apr 07
Your first statement says it all ".. whom I treated as a best friend.." See, YOU treated him like a best friend. As far as I see it, he always thought you were dirt. Get over him, there is nothing and no one to forgive but yourself. You let yourself get used and walked all over, now don't torture yourself further over it, thinking that it is HIS fault and he needs your forgiveness.
He didn't use you. You put yourself on a golden platter in front of him, willing to be used, so don't blame him now. Just move on in life, think of better things and put your heart and soul in your work and just succeed. Thats what you should be spending your energy on, at this age.
@joyce959 (1559)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
Just forget him and move on. You dont need to forgive if he doesn't feel sorry for what he did to you.
There are lots of men...He is not worth your love. Someone better is there for you. So associate with other guys. Enjoy yourself. When you are happy with your life, you will forget all your worries.
Cheers!
@confusedheart (207)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
thanks for the advice. i think i must be careful next time in choosing the right person for me
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
27 Apr 07
what a jerk! you don't ever need to forgive him, and don't feel guilty about holding a grudge. A man that would hti you in the face, and make you feel like dirt desereves nothing from you. Forget about him, he isnt worth space in your mind.
@kwlanje (52)
• India
27 Apr 07
my girlfriend left me and marry another guy.
its been a yr, and i still feel the pain.every night i go to sleep and i cant hold my eyes to tear down.
i dont want to forgot her, because i still love her.
your friend is not treating you nicely because migt be he doent like you.
no matter how mcuh u wnat to be with him, get away from him.
that is the only way.
dont be in cotact with him
suceess need a dedication.if you want to be sucess full hold on your heart till u get stable.
"no matter how much u wnatto quit, hang on"
hope you'll be ok soon.
@tsledd (154)
• United States
28 Apr 07
sorry for your hurt.
Maybe you brought it on to yourself somehow.
It is nice to have a male friend, best friend but never slave for them. They get to liking this treatment and will take full advantage of it (you )..This is not how their mama raised them, but is the way you are showing them..
You should never be slapped by any one especially a man, who do he think he is..GOD I dont think so.
I say Kick his butt to the curb and get a man that appriciates you for what you are. I wish you luck.
You already have the answer to this problem if you just let it come out.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
Hey, a guy like that doesn't deserve to be loved or forgiven. That kind of abuse can only get worse with time. You're better off without him.
@zjenikka (292)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
he does not deserve you gurl, so do not waste your time to people wh does not deserve the kind of woman youare.. it is his loss...
How to forgive him? It takes time to heal.. and when it is healed and after you have settled yourself that is the time you talk and forgive him. and of course you can do this with prayers, so you pray.
@kajal28 (83)
•
27 Apr 07
looks like we have sailed in same boat ur bf hurt u phy n mine hurt me emotionally..he didnt deserve u so pls forget abt him..time will heal even the deepest wounds trust me...once u get true love in ur life i thnk u'll forget past n be happy...whnevr u remember him remember gud memories than bad than u can b able to forgive him..
@akit_ortiz (92)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
well for me, i think u don't have to do anything. time can tell if your ready to forgive him or not. if the wound that he gave to you already healed. then after that if you'll see each other again that's the time that you'll know that your feelings for him were gone and your ready to forgive.
@patricia24 (568)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
I think you can't forgive him because you still dont accept that she treated you that way, you can't just accept the fact that he never love you the way you love him. Accept the fact and you will learn to forgive him. Just treat him as your worst nightmare.
@saujanya (34)
• India
27 Apr 07
hey..i can undrstnd what u are goin thru...but then common now..its one year for heaqvens sake..not onw week or one month! u cant get out of it...thers onli one idea...get out of ur old regular life and get to meet as many people as u xcan..get into some hobbies..may be musicclasses..dance classes or may be concentrate on ur acads...for ur future..but dont let usrself sit at home and feel bad abt someth u can do nothn ...k...lifes always ful of choices..decide whats ur chioce..al the best...dont forget 2 hav fun and take care gud care of urselves...:)
