What to do and how to handle it
By susan50
@susan50 (110)
United States
April 27, 2007 6:12pm CST
I have sort of a nephew(my domestic partner's exwife's stepson/nephew)that got his teenage girlfriend pregnant and they now have a beautiful 8 month old baby girl. The baby's mother left him and her when she was about 3 months old. He and the baby moved in with us shortly afterwards. My problem is, two months ago he started seeing another girl, she is very much still a virgin. He was making plans with her after they both graduated from high school this May, that she would come live here with us and help take care of his daughter. She fell in love with the baby at first sight and thought things were going good. A couple of weeks ago he started lying and staying out til all hours of the night while his daughter was home with me. He would go two-three days straight not even worrying about whether or not he see his daughter. When he first moved in with the baby, he was really trying and at times I would just think it was because his is just 18 and not sure how to take care of a baby when he couldn't really take care of himself, I got him a cell phone so in case I needed to get in touch with him when the baby was with me. Now out of the blue, when I call his cell phone, he would never answer it and when he finally come home I asked him why, he would just say he didn't feel like talking to anyone. I got upset, but allowed him to keep the phone, well that lasted for about a week cause, a few days later he decides not to come home after work until 11:30 at night, way past being able to see his daughter. Not once did he call to say he would be late or asked about his daughter. When he finally came in, I asked where his phone was and he pointed to his pants pocket, it was then that I asked for the phone back. Now he has decided that he is moving back in with his baby's mama and told his current girlfriend he just wants to be friends and he would still take her to the prom but only as a friend. What kind of jerk does that anymore? I am so upset and angry at his self-centered ego. He has not given a thought as to what it will do to his daughter by putting her in that awful situation again. Her mother is just 17 and I just have a feeling that he is over there and they are going to make another baby or she is going to give him another std, either way it is not a healthy environment for the baby. We fell in love with that little girl, just one look at her and you can't help but fall in love with her, she is just so precious and it breaks my heart to see her being used as a pawn in her daddy's game.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@susan50 (110)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I do understand, but his current girlfriend and his baby he has just left hanging. His girlfriend is here this weekend and he still hasn't broken up with her officially. As for his daughter, I can't believe he is being so insensitive to her needs. He is putting her mama's and his needs first.
@pillusch (1147)
• Mexico
28 Apr 07
It's obviously very difficult to judge the situation from the outside, even though you give plenty of information in your post. On the one hand the whole thing looks like a handsome crisis for you. (Remember, the chinese alphabet has the same sign for crisis and opportunity.) And on the other hand I can't get rid of the feeling that YOU are going to raise the baby. Is that what you want?
@rodeotexas (1153)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I completely understand why you are upset about this. He needs to grow up and be a parent to his daughter. He needs to think about his actions in going back to the mother who left them both and leaving a good girl. Maybe someone needs to have a talk with him.
@apricotrains (456)
• Melbourne, Australia
27 Apr 07
Wow this is a tough one. I can see how they both would be thinking that they have just given up their freedom. Having a child at a young age is very hard (I should know)but they also HAVE to take care of what they have done. Now him breaking up with his girlfriend...hell relationships break up all the time. He obviously nevr got over his feelings for the mother of his child & that's not an easy thing to do.But as for not taking care of his daughter now that's something I ahte. He is taking advantage of the fact you are there to look after the baby & it seems like his girlfriend was there for just the same reason you are...the babysitters. I would tell him he has to leave & give him no more support towards looking after the baby, make sure that everyone knows what he has done in the past so they they also will not be suckered into it, then the mother & him have to look after the child.
