When your daughter's heart is broken

When our children are hurting, we hurt right along with them. I die inside when my daughters suffer. I remember several times that my oldest went through a major breakup and it was very hard. The first was right before senior prom. He broke it off with her since they were goning to go in different directions. He then asked another girl to prom. She was already suffering from the divorce of her father and I. She had gained weight and was suffering from low self esteem. She decided to go to the prom without a date about four days before. I was low on funds but I had some beautiful material and she told me what she wanted. We went and bought a pattern and put together a beautiful dress and we fixed her hair. She had a glorious time! The second time was after her first year of college. The boy broke it off by phone about a week after school let out. She was devastated and the poor child cried for days. I took her by the hand and walked her to my car. We drove to old towne in Florence, OR and we shopped. She was still weeping but she felt so much better just getting out. About a year ago she sent me an email telling me about her latest boyfriend breaking up with her. In that email she thanked me for the time in Florence and for the support I have given her along the way. It was the first time my daughter thanked me for being a good mother and being there for her through all the rough times. I was totally blown away! I saved a copy of that email because I never thought children thanked their parents for all the work we have to go through. She has since thanked me numerous times and the hugs come more often and last much longer.

All you can really do is be there for her. Maybe tell her how sorry you are that she's in pain and tell her that you are there for her. I have found that it is not a good idea to trash talk the ex though, what if they get back together later down the line. Then there's all that stuff you may have said about the person and they know that you don't like them. Then you will have to listen when your daughter tells you her stories about the ex over and over again until you want to scream if you hear them one more time because she will be venting and healing as she does that. It's hard to listen to sometimes but she will need it. Just someone to listen. It's not the time for advice though, just be her rock. This is what I have done for my daughter when she is in pain.

I am not a parent. However, it is so nice when we live close to our parents because we can help each other. Just being there is everything in this situation.