moving out of your parents house?

@kharl143 (343)
Philippines
April 29, 2007 7:04am CST
honestly guys,am still living with my parents under one roof.i treid to ask permission from them before that ill move out but they dont permit to do so...even if ill just be renting a room a block away from our house...that was a year ago...now,am really considering again of moving out.i know they wont permit me to do so.but i said myself that i should move wither they like it or not.is this the rigth thing tio do?would it be ok if they dont permit me?what should i say to them so i could convince them for me to move out?advice me guys of the things to do here...
6 people like this
22 responses
@smughal (1026)
• Pakistan
29 Apr 07
Well if you still are kid then don't move, even if you are working. Give some time to your parents, maybe they need you. By the way, why do you want to move? Once you are stable enough then ask your parents that you need some space now.
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
of course i can support already...i just want to move to experience freedom...they said that i dont have to live the house since sooner or later,ill inherit it from them...nyways,thanks forthe comment..
2 people like this
@akinad (446)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
just one question..how old are you now??i guess if you're just 17 below then they would really not allow you to do that..but if you're 18 above and is working and knows how to take care of himself..and is a RESPONSIBLE GUY..then why not?? if you like your parents' permission,then you should show them that you're old and responsible enough to be with your ownn..let them see that you can take charge of your life and that you wouldn't do anything that will harm yoursel..maybe your parents are just worried about you being to trouble or something like that.. also tell them that you'll keep in touch always..that's what parents are really afraid of.. of totally loosing contact to their sons and daughters..so i guess it's up to you now to wheter move out or take some more time..so goodluck!!
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
29 Apr 07
i guess your parents just love to be with you everyday. and i don't think they are taking off your rights to enjoy life as a single person, right? anyway, it's your choice to do so. if you feel like moving out, i suggest you talk to them heart to heart. it's not nice to live away from them leaving them with hurt feelings. after all, they are still your parents and believe me, you don't want to leave them with bad feelings. just talk to them and try to explain your side. for sure at some point, they will understand you. take care...
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
29 Apr 07
Man you are 27 yaers old. You are an adult. How do your parents keep you from moving out on your own? do they lock you up in your room? do they tie you to the bed post at night. I was living on my won at 18. I was working and providing for my self by the time I was 17. Do you have a jod to support your self or are yourparents giving you money? As an adult you don't have to ask for permission to move out. Just let them know that your have found a place to live and that you will be moving by such and such a time. But let them know you will be back to visit often.
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
yeah right...but am the only child dude...besides,here in the philippines,we have a strong family bond...but for sure, i already have a work and i can support myself....
2 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
29 Apr 07
Even if you are an only child and family ties are strong There comes a time when you have to cut the apron strings. That dosen't mean just ignoring your parents. It maens growing up and taking care of your self. Who does your laundry and gets your meals for you?
1 person likes this
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
i do my laundry...if i dont work,i do cook for the family...but,honestly guys,i thank you from the bottom of my heart for the truthful comments youve shared with me.though some of it may sound offensive to me,but its ok...i respec your opinions...
2 people like this
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
30 Apr 07
I feel for you. I think this is a hard decission for you. From reading the other responses and your comments to them, i understand the closeness with your family and the culture over there. I Think that you need to sit down and talk about it with your parents and explain how you feel and let them know that you wont be far away and will still be there for them. I wish you all the best in your decission
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
1 May 07
Yes, this is a hard decission for you, try not to get yourself too worked up. I just hope your parents are understanding. Again, all the best. Im thinking of you. Cheers
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
finally an angel my friend....thank you soooo much for the understanding youve given me...this is really is a hard decission to make...its really causing me a lot of headache...thanks again my friend...more power...
@kcrysea (195)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
Well actually i feel the same way. I wanted to be on my own, but as parents, of course they want the best thing for their child. First you should discuss this. Ask them why they dont want you to do that. They're just afraid somthing bad might happen to you. I actually tried to move out the house when i was 21, but never got the chance to prove them that I was able to survive. So i got back and they accepted me. You just have to listen to them, if you think moving out will do good for you, go ahead and explain to them without hurting their feelings.
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
thanks for the cooment...i think your a filipina...i dont know if it will do good for me...all i know is that i have a well paid job.that i can support myself already...more power...
1 person likes this
@kcrysea (195)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
well if thats the case, hmmm maybe they just love you that much hehehe. yes im a filipina... nice meeting you... just talk to your mom and dad and tell them the good outcome of living on your own. Kaya mo yan! ^__^
@mansha (6298)
• India
29 Apr 07
I jsut checked your profile you are twenty seven and a man enought to take your own decision. If you are earning and not financially dependent on them why you need there permission. just tell them and move out. In India it would not have been possible because in our culture we stay with parents buit the role changes , instead of our parents taking care of us we take care of them. But I personally feel yopu do need to live seprately to grow up on your own a bit and learn youe own responsibilities.
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
iam responsible enough to live on my own...its just our culture here in the philippines is quit the same as yours.that we should take care of our parents...thanks for the comment friend...
@gemini1960 (1161)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
youre lucky to have a parents like them, since you are still single you must save your money first for the future dont move out without the blessing of your parents, in our country our siblings especially singles,we dont allow them to be on their own, unless theyre married.
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
thanks for the comment gemini.every country has different cultyres..thats why its so hard for me to decide to live...
@lani0529 (1722)
• Philippines
4 May 07
Hello kharl!(",) I had fun reading the responses of other mylotters.(",) Cool of you to have started this discussion!(",) Other culture may not understand our ways as a Filipino. I don't blame them because, like in America, they have to move out when they reached the age of 18. Here, we wanted to keep the family together as long as we can. That is why we have many extended families here in our country.(",) Honestly, I salute you kharl for staying with your parents. Being independent is not only measured by moving out or living on your own. You can still be independent even if you are still living with your parents. But if, you really would like to experience living alone considering your age, you can talk to your parents. In that way they will be able to know how you really feel and you and your parents can have an agreement regarding your moving out. If I were in your situation, I still would like to be with parents and enjoy their company while they are still living. Hope that you will be able to make up your mind.(",) God bless you Kharl and good luck!(",)
@joby_09 (498)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
First of all, you should be able to identify your objective for moving out. Why do you want to move out? Is it because you feel imprisoned when inside your parents house? Because you feel you no longer have the freedom to do whatever you want? Because you want to be independent? What? If your purpose for moving out is for self development, i think that's a valid reason. But if your purpose is to free yourself from the shadow of your parents rules, think again. Second, you must also consider your capabilities. Are you working, studying or both? If you think you can already support yourself, then go. But if not, don't give your parents the burden to support you when you are away. Third, is it necessary? Like in my situation, i am also considering of moving out because my workplace is far from home. Traveling eats too much of my time and energy. As for your case, reasons related to work/school is not applicable since your target destination is just a few blocks away from your home. Hope these consideration helps. =)
@kharl143 (343)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
it really did help my friend joby...my parents is not strict...i just really need to experience away from their comfort to further prepare me for my future family man...thanks again...more power...
• India
3 May 07
ya i like moving out with my father,
• United States
29 Apr 07
well last time i checked you are grown, parents don't really have much of a right to tell you what to do after the age of 18, i know i moved out when i was 18 regardless of the fact they didn't like it, it's your life and you need to learn how to live it without someone else telling you what to do especially at this age, they have no rights over you, do what makes you happy, your parents are just going to have to learn to let go
• United States
29 Apr 07
I agree ... rainqueen:-)
@maybey (365)
• Philippines
3 May 07
How old are you kharl? If you are in a right ages, you don't need some permit from your parents to move your house. I think your not in the right ages that's why your family against to left your house. They believe that you can't do it yourself , they worried about you. In my case I need to left in my family house when I'm 12 years old. I left them to continue my studying at Metro Manila. That time I felt sad because I missed my family, they caring, loving and support. But after a year I realized it, It's very helpful to left at my family side. I learned, I take care myself and have own decision.
@sfeszl (1)
• China
29 Apr 07
Hello,everyone. I am a chinese. My English is not good,so I want to study English hard.I hope I can get help from you
• China
30 Apr 07
I'm a chinese ,too. I'm very glad to see you here. Which city you live in now,I'm in xi'an. Have you come there? I joined the site before 4 days. It is a good place to discuss something.I think you can improve your English here in a few months . Although Chinese is our first language ,please speak English with me if you dont mind. I think you should start a new discussion ,then more people will find you and you will have more chance to improve your English.Do you know how to start a discussion? It is on the left,in the second block (start a new discussion).\ Have a good day!
@lissaj (532)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I think you are well over the age to have to ask your parents permission to move out. I would just move out. I know you probably don't want to cause a rift with your parents, but they have to understand that you are a grown person, and have right to live your own life, just like they did. Unless there is some major reason why you should not be on your own, I would start looking for a place to live.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
30 Apr 07
i think, moving out for you is very important. its not about disregarding parents or about hurting them. i think its about your life which, is intrinsicly theirs aswell. since you are 27, you will require some space and freedom of your own. you will start a family soon, i guess and that means moving out is the best option at point in time. however, having said this, we should respect our parents feelings aswell. exlain the whole matter and reason with them and convince them about the fact that you are not leaving them, you are just shifting for your convenience. they will argue, feel sad but eventually they will agree. trust me, they are very sweet ppl just playbthe ball according to their rule. good luck!
@Stiffler07 (1356)
• United States
29 Apr 07
I had to take a look at your profile before answering you are well in your 20's, and the truth of the matter is you should be out on your own. Have another talk with them & let them know you would like their ok because you value their opinion, however you are an adult and need to be on your own now. You're aware you don't need their ok to do so, but you would really appreciate their support on the matter.
@simplycza (1480)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
hi there, its because of our culture.. it was really hard then to convince your parents especially if you are the only child. luckily, i went on my own when i was at 18 yrs old. But its because i have a job far away from them. why dont you try to talk to them again and spill out your reasons, i knew they will reconsider.. anyways, you are an adult already.
@juntoboy (612)
• Indonesia
30 Apr 07
if you like it. you must talk to your parents again
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
30 Apr 07
I have leave my parents for 4 years. When I first left them i feel very happy.i finally can decide my own life.how happy do you know? i think all of people who left their parents can understand my feeling. But now I miss them very much,I hope to live with them under one roof.My parents are both old .recently,they are both ill,but i have no time to go back to look after them ,i feel very sad. When you are at different ages ,you will have different ideas. Now i decide to visit my parents in July.I havent seen my dad for 4 years.I dont know what I have done in such a long time.I feel very ashamed. To visit your parents ,they must miss you.