How do you if they are married?

@AdamMax (260)
United States
April 30, 2007 2:06pm CST
If someone won't let you meet any of their family or friends, is it a strong possibility that they are hiding something,..like being married?
2 people like this
9 responses
@Anakata2007 (1785)
• Canada
30 Apr 07
not necessarily. It depends on how long youve known them. Some people only like to introduce new boyfriends or girlfriends to their friends and family after a few months, when they feel that it might become something serious. I think if they never let you come to their house or apartment and don't give you their home number then they might be married.
2 people like this
@jbb316 (1779)
• United States
2 May 07
It is a good possibility. There definately seems to be something that is not right. Or on the other hand, it could be someone in there family like mother may have an illness or something wrong that they are afraid to let people meet them for fear of what they will think.
1 person likes this
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
30 Apr 07
First, I would ask them the reason for their wanting to keep it a secret. If it's something like 'too early in the relationship', well, I can kind of understand that. If it's early into the relationship, taking you home to meet the family is like saying the relationship is further along than where he actually feels it is. Lots of men don't usually take a girl home to meet mama unless they think that relationship is actually going somewhere and you're the 'one'. (Maybe he's not ready to advance the relationship.) I can see that attitude with family maybe, but not with the friends. Friends usually know if their friends are seeing somebody, and that to me says something different, like maybe he's not all that into you or something. I think most guys want to show off their gal to their friends even before their family. But, if it's been a while that you two have had a relationship, then maybe it's a giant red flag waiving 'I'm married', or maybe he has another girlfriend that he sees sometimes and he wants neither his friends, nor his family, to know.
1 person likes this
@whywiki (6066)
• Canada
30 Apr 07
I don't think it is always because they are married. Maybe they are ashamed of their family. I had a friend that was ashamed of his girlfriend so he never introduced her to his family. He called her his Moped. Fun to ride, but you sure don't want your friends to catch you on one. Needless to say it didn't last.
• United States
30 Apr 07
I think it really depends. I've been with guys who are embarrassed of their family and friends and don't want me to meet them. Later, they learn that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. They might be hiding something though. Not necessarily marriage, but maybe something they don't want their family telling you. Make up some excuse to call their mother for a "surprise" or something and see how thy react. That might help you figure it out.
1 person likes this
@rodeotexas (1153)
• United States
30 Apr 07
Well it depends on how long you've known them. If you haven't known them too long then I would say they just aren't ready to introduce you. Now if you have known them for months or a year or so then I would maybe start to think something is up.
1 person likes this
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
30 Apr 07
You might be right, but you might not. I would find out exactly how honest of a person you are dealing with right now. Have you asked this person why they are being so secretive? You have nothing to lose by asking and it might prevent a heartache down the road.
1 person likes this
@lissaj (532)
• United States
30 Apr 07
If you have been dating awhile, and they don't want you around their friends or family, I would start to wonder. If they are always at your place, but you can't go to their place, or if they don't want public dates, I would think something was up. If it were me, I think I would follow them lol. But that's just me. I like to know what I'm getting into.
1 person likes this
@camar_lyn (1028)
• Singapore
30 Apr 07
I personally think so. I;ve also experienced something like it before. Got to know a guy on the internet, got friendly and closer but never met up. Once a woman, then a young girl picked up his cell. He of course denied all allegations i put against him. So up till now, it's an issue that bugs me at the back of my mind. Though it is not as bad as last time, it still raises a question mark in my mind as to why a person would want to do that! - Lyn
1 person likes this