What Does Your Man Need From You?
April 30, 2007 3:13pm CST
Happy is the man whose woman understands and meets the deep longings of his heart. Women please hear this! You will see a much greater response to getting your needs met if you will pay attention and follow through with the itinerary laid out here. Respect is a foundational need for a man. It is important to him that he knows you respect him for who he is and what he does. Be careful not to derail yourself from meeting the need of his by directing your feelings towards the things you do not respect about him. You must train yourself to focus your energy towards his positive qualities. Whatever you put your energy into will grow. That is why when you fault find and nag, you see him shut down even more. Nagging and complaining can break your man's spirit. Aim your energy towards the desired object. You want to magnify his positive traits. Your man needs to feel admired and recognized for his contribution to the relationship as well as the other areas of his life. Give him the honor and appreciation he desires. If you do not, you deepen the insecurity he already struggles with. He needs to know that you believe in him. Countless therapy sessions are driven towards the identification and magnification of man's faults. He admits some and denies others. The therapy experience becomes a forum of debate. The therapist is left to play the role of judge, which means someone is going to be found guilty. Men know that they have their faults. Women usually have a better memory and can typically out debate their man. This sets up a less than therapeutic encounter. No wonder men do not like to come to therapy. I know the opposite is also true. My point is that you do not allow the focus of your energy to be forsaken. Look for things to praise your man about. This can be a tough world to live in. Make him look forward to the next time he gets to see your face and hold you in his arms. A man will endure all kinds of hardships and fight the fiercest battles for the woman who respects and praises her man. Men also like to feel as if they are strong and in charge. This is not to be confused with domineering. Being in charge is more in line with being a leader for the relationship. This whole subject is often debated. You can argue all day long about the masculine and feminine roles but you will miss the point. The point is the fulfillment of your man's needs. He does not want to make all of the decisions. He most likely does not have any real preference about many decisions. However, when he does make a decision or take a stand, you need to strongly consider yielding to his position. Do not worry; the issue of power usually balances out if you are willing to apply a give and take mentality. Your man needs to be encouraged. Be a cheerleader for him. Inspire him to live up to his fullest potential. Acknowledge that you see his greatness and support his goals and dreams. Remember the old saying, Behind every great man is a woman. Be that woman to your man. Stimulate his evolution towards becoming a great partner. You have choices. You can choose not to encourage him and you can guess the outcome of such resistance. On the other hand, you can choose to build him up. The outcome of this choice is unlimited potential. So remember one brings consequences, the other brings benefits. This leads to the next need, practical support for your man. Do not confuse this with slavery. Your man needs your help if he is going to accomplish anything resembling greatness. He needs your tender heartedness and your watchful eye for detail. The two of you need to work together as a team. The two of you together will achieve much more than the couples that refuse to collaborate. You bring qualities to the relationship that he does not have. You see opportunities that he does not notice. You compliment his areas of inability. Together you complete each other. Won't this make him worse? Women often fear that they will be creating a monster if they build up their man too much. They worry that his head will swell and he will neglect her needs. A risk always exists that this could occur. Most men embrace this attention from their woman by reciprocating. If your man takes advantage of your fulfillment of his needs, then you drag his butt to therapy. The power of a man with met needs is limitless. His level of confidence grows to an all time high. He soars above his fellow man to become a great man and a great partner.