Ok guys and girls- Help me out

This had me laughing and remembering something fun that my friend told me happened while she was in labour. Right there when she was pushing and all, The nurse says.. - You are doing great ANNA - soon you will have your baby here - Go Anna - Go! The problem is her name was not Anna - that was her boyfriends exgirlfriend... Oops - probably not a good thing to do when a woman is in labour =)

(Most of these are assuming it's the father of the baby speaking) "Does it really hurt that bad?" "Betcha' can't wait to have the next one can ya?" "Can't ya' wait?" "Are you sure it's even mine?" "Your name's not Rosemary, is it?" "You going to name him, Damian?" "You know I once had to take a really big dump--that was kind of like going into labor." "Your sister was better." "Your brother was better." "...you do know that I'm sterile, right?" "Well, I guess at least we know he wasn't shooting blanks."

ok, now this is a true story and maybe it's not so funny but it's really what my s/o said when I was in labor with our youngest. I was 2 weeks over due and I'd been in labor for 13 hours already, but in his defense it had been an easy labor so it's not like I'd been yelling or anything. We were still at home and I WOKE HIM UP and asked him if he needed to call work to let them know he wasn't coming in. He looked at me and said "I don't know, do I need to? Are you REALLY in labor or not?" !!! I said No hun I'm faking it just for fun. He went back to sleep for another hour... I woke him up again and told him to call in. He again asked if I was sure because in his words "How am I supposed to know if you're having the baby or not?" Umm because I told you... So 3 more hours went by and I still didn't feel like going to the hospital yet but was getting close to that point. I got up and walked across the room, which took 5 minutes because I couldn't walk during contractions. He finally turned around and looked at me and said (and this is the real kicker of my story) "I'll think I'll go over to my parents for awhile since you don't seem to need me yet" So to answer your question What shouldn't you say to a woman in labor? 1. Are you REALLY in labor?- if she thinks she is that's all that matters 2.I don't know if you're actually having the baby or not. -she doesn't care what you know, she knows and again that's all that matters 3. I'm leaving because you don't need me -never say this, she needs you even if you don't know what to do

Here's some that my husband hopefully learned: "why are you shouting, it can't hurt that bad" "you look funny on that birthing ball" "it can't hurt that bad, I've taken dumps the size of a baby (gross)" "eww you just pooped on the table hun" a few days later "are those stitches healed up yet?"

Top Ten NO NOs 1. I don't see what's so hard about having a baby. 2. You're the one who wanted a baby. 3. The other women up here don't seem to be having any problems. 4. Do you have to squeeze my hand so hard? 5. I'm going to the bar, call me when it's time. 6. Can my buddies come up and watch the game on t.v.? 7. Can I watch the game on t.v.? 8. God, you look awful. 9. I told you so. 10. PUSH!

"Why don't you smile?" "Ew, you're all hairy!" "What's for dinner?" "Did you pick up the drycleaning?" "My mom says it doesn't really hurt THAT bad." "You make it look soooooo easy!" "Don't you get bikini waxes?" "Girl, your toes are messed up!" "Oh my god, you're getting a pimple!" "Do I look fat?" "I lost 12 pounds, isn't that great?" "The way you're breathing is quite unattractive" "Hey can I tweeze your eyebrows?" "Aren't you done yet?" "Hey, after you're done wanna get a drink?" "I'm bored" "Uh, could you hurry? The game's on." "You know, you should get out more." ---That's all I got for now.

When I was in labor with my son, the nurse told me "if you don't push harder than that, you are still going to be pregnant tomorrow!" My husband told her to shut the f*** up, and for once I wasn't even mad that he used that language. He was tired, and I was tired and feeling the same way. The nurse told me this on only the SECOND contraction she told me to push through. She got huffy and left when my husband told her off, so then I had the nurse that I liked slightly better, when I delivered my son 20 minutes later. I thought nurses were supposed to be more supportive than that? Anyway, I could have had the baby sooner, but I actually had to just breathe through contractions for about 5 minutes wihle trying not to push while I waited for my doctor.

True one here. My late husband looking at the monitor. It was an internal monitor so you could see the contractions coming before I even felt it. "Oh My God, baby, it's a big one. It's going to hurt!"

true story, i was in labor for close to 48 hours before i had he baby not to mention i was dialated and having contractions for about 9 weeks before that still working because my job didn't care and i was signed by contract, anyways so you can imagine how i was the last 48 hours before having those babies(twins) no c-section/ and don't get me wrong i love my husband but see first of all the hospital put me on something to where they can slow down the babies from coming out (more pain for me) and i couldnt eat anything for like two days except ice chips now my loving husband who was there through out it all had the nerves to eat subwats, and mcdonalds and all the good food in front of me,and then me not getting any sleep because of the contractions, he would just take one of those fold out couch with a pillow and a blanket and had a great sleep and this is when i wanted to choke the S*&^* out of him he said "I know you have to be tired"