Dealing with the Terrible Two's stage

Philippines
May 3, 2007 11:53pm CST
My daughter is turning two this month. I have heard about the Terrible Two's stage and I think she's starting to behave that way. I know that most, if not all, toddlers go through this stage. As they say, it will come and go. For parents with toddlers, how did you cope with this stage? Any tips? I am a first time mom and I would really appreciate any advice/tips you can share. Thanks!
3 people like this
14 responses
• United States
4 May 07
My youngest daughter will be 2 1/2 this month. When she first reached the 2 year mark, she had some outbursts and tantrums. Sometimes, it was very stressful but it's part of her growing up. The main thing is to remain calm and try to distract her from going something bad and finding something good and fun for her to do. My daughter gradually understood without to much drama. The important thing is to encourage good behavior and not stress too much about her bad behavior. I feel the more attention you bring to the bad things things just encourages it more. I also emphasis and praise the good things and try to downplay the bad things. Yes she does bad things but I try to remain calm and unemotional. The good things I HAM II UP!
• United States
4 May 07
My son is only 9months but I've had my fiar share of 2 year olds that I was babysitting and I found that the best way to deal was to learn to ignore and hold your ground! One time I was in a store with a tantrum thrower, on the ground banging fists, screaming the whole lot, I told her that if she didnt get up we were going to leave the entire cart of items in the store and go home and she would be on time out, but if she would be nice and calm down she would get to pick a treat, well she contiuned I counted to 5 (gives em a little more time without having to do 2 1/2 and all those extra numbers) and she didn't stop so I left the cart in the aisle picked he up and home we went. She never did that again.
@wachit14 (3599)
• United States
4 May 07
Remember, that your little girl is leaving her baby stage and becoming a child. Through this transition, she will feel conflicted in what is known as "push me, pull me". What this means is that part of her still wants to be treated like a baby, while another part of her wants to be independent. When you understand this, you will begin to be able to give her control over things you think she can handle, while still controlling other things to keep her safe. Some children don't go through this stage until they turn three, but thankfully, most past through it fairly quickly. When your daughter gets a little older, she will again pass this this stage as she leaves childhood and becomes a young adult. It's really the same thing (wanting to be coddled at times, but still wanting her independence and control).
@Modestah (11188)
• United States
5 May 07
in my experience the threes were much more trying than the twos - but the teens - OH MY!!!! a dozen two year olds would be easier than my obstinate 12 year old
1 person likes this
@Kscott (634)
• United States
5 May 07
I've been through the terrible two's 4 times, and well I think that they call it terrible because now your baby who wasn't able to talk and walk before, is finally putting it all together, and they get into everything....EVERYTHING... they are trying to be like everyone else around them, who can do everything for themselves. It's a trying time for them as well as parents because they are trying to put all their words together into sentences, trying to be independant, but at the same time still need and want to be babied. They are very very impressionable, and they dont understand that they just cant do everything yet. My suggestions are to BABY PROOF, BABY PROOF, BABY PROOF. Dont underestimate their little minds, and make the mistakes I did, thinking to myself "Hmm, she wont get into that it's too high on the shelf, hidden, etc". Well let me tell you my 2 & 4 year olds double team me and my husband right now (they evilly work together!!) We baby proofed our home with all the gidgets and gadgets, but they still figured ways to get into things, and the funny thing is, they aren't out of our site for a minute at the most, they like to do their work late at night, like about 2 a.m., when the whole house is sleeping, and they went to bed at 9 or 10 and had them what i like to call a "cat nap", and then they will sneak out of their rooms and try and bake cookies for you at 3:00 in the morning, but only really accomplished getting flour, sugar, eggs, and milk ALL OVER the entire kitchen..(and thats with the refrigerator cabinets and door latches on the cupboards too, LOL!), or they heard mommy and daddy talking about painting the kitchen, and they got the paint.....luckily they couldn't open it, but they were ready!! They're great though, and all these lovely disasters are precious "Kodak moments" for us! I do believe that at this age of 2 that they have a really short attention span, so you have to constantly keep them busy, or they will be into something quick! My daughter's loves to watch Caillou, which is only about 1/2 hour long, and thats about the most she will really sit at a time, she wont sit still through a whole movie. I just keep both of them busy or helping me...they will help pull the laundry out of the dryer, they help fold, etc....it's not slave labor....dont get me wrong...they actually think it's fun...yeah well talk to me when their 12/14 and lets see if it's so fun then, LOL! But they learn something while helping me out..(colors,shapes, we sing songs)..it's really more of a bigger mess and takes me longer....but its good quality time. But make sure they know that they have to be big like mommy to operate the stuff their helping you with, and that they cant do it without mommy or daddy. LOL, thats one thing they haven't done at 3 a.m. is get up and watch the dishes...LOL...Just have fun and really enjoy your baby learning at this age...it's wonderful and so cute. Get her play things like a kitchen and dishes with fake food, a sweeper, mine have ride on toys they can ride in our house and love to play like that...keep them imaginative and enjoy her. Good luck!
@smacksman (6072)
4 May 07
All children are the same - they will push at the boundries of possibility untill they are told where the limits are. Strike 1 - A 'no' Strike 2 - A very firm NO and a waggle of a finger in their face. Strike 3 - A NO + waggle and a smack on the bum. Keep it simple, consistent and fair and they will love you for it.
1 person likes this
@Ravrockin (281)
• India
4 May 07
well i am single 22age so unable to give you proper an well advive or tips to share.But i love kids to much so would like suggest few things from other experiences an observing to that this is the age were kids must be handle more safely & carefully.By providing proper food what they eat at this age.Proper medicines ,proper checkup by child specialist.
• United States
4 May 07
I strongly believe that each child deserves a different type of treatment.. No two children are the same so this is something you need to learn on your own... TIPS? well I do have two.. PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING. Try to be as patient as you can and try to relate or understand why your child is acting this way. I am pregnant with my 4th child. I have a 2 year old now and she is having a rough time with this stage. my 6 year old, he didn't really have "terrible two's" quite like this one is.. Just be patient! Sometimes you just have to lock yourself in the bath with some warm water! :)
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 07
my daughet is 16 months and going threw terrible twos . I say they should call it terrible ones. Anyway with four kids i say stand firm. Let her get away with some but with the big things keep consist. It will all beover and belive it or not you will miss the terrible two.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 07
terrible twos kid - terrible twos pic of a kid acting up
my daughet is 16 months and going threw terrible twos . I say they should call it terrible ones. Anyway with four kids i say stand firm. Let her get away with some but with the big things keep consist. It will all beover and belive it or not you will miss the terrible two.
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
4 May 07
Well, to say that it is soley the terrible two's can be very misleading. My oldest started at about 18 months, and is almost 3, and seems to be being even more "terrible". I do think "terrible" gives it an awful connotation though, I would prefer to call it "trying". Some of the things that I would reccomend, have already been suggested. Being consistent, really is key. Also, I have learned that when you are expecting compliance from them, that you should also demand a compliant response. FOr instance, When I tell my son, to go put his toys away, and he whines, I look at him and remind him to say "yes Momma" he'll then say it, and head to his room to put his things away. They don't always mean "yes Momma" when they say it, but it's a good first step to get them to change thier attitude about things. I started that with him at about 18 months, and by the time he was 2-2 1/2 I could remind him of the proper response, and he would usually do what I told him to with no more whining. I think another thing we parents tend to overlook at this age is nap time, or down time. Even though most of our children are starting to drop thier naps, that doesn't mean they no longer need them, or at least need some quiet time to themselves. WHen my son turned 2 1/2 he started to drop his nap, and we instituted quiet time, where he must play quietly in his room with books, or puzzles during his normal nap time. Sometimes he would surprise me and go to sleep, other times, he'd play quietly. And if he ever got to loud, I would go in and remind him, and if reminders didn't work, I would turn off the lights and make him lie in bed. After a couple of afternoons like that, he decided it was better to be quiet then to have to lie in bed. This age is very frustrating for the parents, but also for the child. They are learning new things, and many times thier little bodies cannot keep up. THey have this urge to be independent, and they find it exhilerating and terrifying at the same time. Understanding and patience is key, but that must be balanced with discipline and consistentcy. Good luck to you and your 2 year old, this is a trying time, but I also think it's one of the most precious times in thier childhood. This is when they will come to you for no reason, and hug you and tell you "momma, I love you so much!" They will learn their ABC'S and that they can hurt thier friends feelings. It's precious and wonderful and much more exciting than trying! (:
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
4 May 07
I have heard about this terrible two's also. But I honestly have to say that I had gone through the terrible three's, four's, five's and until now, at nine's stages. What you should do...nothing really. Just extend your patient and tried to understand and put yourself in your daughter's situation. She is turning two and at that age, she didn't know yet how to express her feelings well. She may use tantrum as a way of expressing herself. Good luck.
@jrs404 (32)
• Philippines
4 May 07
I am a first time mom too and my baby just turned two. I was scared at first too to be a mother to a terrible toddler. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. It was after my baby turned two that she had lots of developments - she is now potty trained except when she's sleeping, she can communicate better. My husband made her promise to stop thumbsucking and I can see how she tries her best to fulfill her promise. I brought her to the dentist and she did not cry. Enjoy your baby and good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 07
Jonny was terrible from birth...LOL just kidding. by terrible i mean "fiercely independant" and with me being fiercely independant...we butt heads alot. But hes almost 3 so thats expected. Consistency is a major thing in the life of a toddler. They like things to be in order and predictable. They wanna know that its supper, bathtime, milk, brush your teeth then bedtime(thats my son's nighttime ritual). Another thing i do for Jonny is give him simple choices. Ill pick 2 pairs of pajamas and let him select which of the 2 sets hed like to wear tonight. Ill let him pick out what flavor of yogurt. You get the idea. this way he feels somewhat in control. And boy, do they think they need to be in control...lol
1 person likes this