Marriage...AGAIN?

@dlkuku (1936)
United States
May 4, 2007 6:29am CST
I have an Aunt who was married four times, and her daughter was married five times. I know a lot of people who have been married three or more times. This is my second marriage myself, but I don't think I would ever want to get married again if something happened between my husband and me. I just don't see myself starting over with someone else. And maintaining a marriage relationship takes a lot of work. My mom never got married again after her and my dad divorced, she would say, 'I just don't want to have to work to feel comfortable around someone'. I was married the first time at 17 years old, so I have been married to one man or another for pretty much my whole adult life. My husband says that if something happens to him, he expects me to find someone else and get married again, and I tell him all the time that I have no desire to do that. I am just wondering how many other married people would get married again, and how many wouldn't. Or is it something you have ever even thought about?
3 people like this
18 responses
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
4 May 07
I am presently on my 4th marriage. My first husband, whom I married when I was 17 hit me and I left him. My second husband turned out to be gay. My third husband was killed in a car accident. My present marriage is it. If anything ever happened to him, I wouldn't be able to do it again. The thing is, I love being married. I won't tolerate abuse or infidelity and when those things occur, it cannot last. But if I fall in love with someone, I can't see pushing those feelings to the backburner because of past failures. If anything ever happened to my present husband, I would never date again.
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
Wow, you sure have been through a lot with men.
1 person likes this
• India
4 May 07
hello if u dnt married again then this is u wish dear but why u hussband want u marry some one else i dnt understand may be he love some one else or he is not able to give u satisfaction anyways i dnt think so many marriages are good but where r u friend indian culture is different so i dnt want that u marrieg gaian but u try to solve u problem if u need any suggestion u call me 0091-98143-30151 i am from india
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
He said that I should marry if he would die before me, he doesn't want me to leave him for another man. He is definately not in love with someone else, and I am satisfied with my husband. Thanks for your concern, but my marriage is fine.
1 person likes this
@twils2 (1812)
• United States
4 May 07
I am also on my second marriage. My first marriage only lasted a year and a half. I've been married to my wife for 11 years no and I've never been happier. While we have our dissagreements at times, I just cant see anything breaking us up. If something was to happen to her, I probably wouldnt get remarried again. If I did, there would be a long time in between because I dont think anybody could top the love I have for my wife and it wouldnt be fair to the person that I would be with. Take care!!
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
Yeah, I just can't imagine being with anyone else.
• India
5 May 07
its correct ..........
@burcun (504)
• Turkey
5 May 07
My marriage going on over 4 year and we have 10 months old daughter. If something happens to my marrige I dont know I never thought about it.But I dont think I cant be with someone else
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
5 May 07
My husband says the same thing as yours does, and though i'm still young, if anything happens to him, i don't want to marry again, i'm not sure if i'd even live with someone again. I just don't think i could handle comparing the guy to him time and time again, which will happen, a lot of people say it won't, but if you really look at it, it's true, everyone does that, some things really remind you of that person, and you'll find yourself going oh that's just like what's his name, or one minute you may find yourself going that's not the way he did it... Things like that, i don't know, it's just not for me, i can't say for sure that i'll never do it again, because you don't know until it happens, but as far as right now goes, i don't think so.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
9 May 07
Yes, there is the that, thanks for bringing up that point, for me, there is no comparison to my husband. He's not perfect, by all means, but I love him.
• Canada
9 May 07
same likewise hun, there's no one like my husband, and i could never love anyone more than i love him.
• India
4 May 07
marriages are the everlasting relationships that breaks in due time when it doesnt fit in the bottle..........remmariage is not a sin but bible says a man who marries sumone else 's wife commits adultery........and i dont know more abt that......so what hav u go to say abt this..........?
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
4 May 07
That's because levitical law allowed for polygamy, but it was not permitted to marry a woman who was already married.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
I appreciate you commenting, but the question I asked was not from a religious standpoint. That is another subject for another discussion.
@joice86 (1079)
• Philippines
5 May 07
Yes, starting again with someone is a difficult thing to do. Even I, i am still single right now, and i had bf now, he is my first bf and we are still together, and i am already thinking how to start all over again when we will separate. We have already talked about our plans in the future and getting married. And it is hard for me to think that this will not gonna happen because if it is then i will have a hard to start all over again with someone else.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
9 May 07
yes, it would be hard to start over with someone else.
@CopyPaper (229)
• Philippines
4 May 07
I can't blame you, you're in the right age enough to know that you need a man in your life. It's too lonely to be alone, you know. Your children will leave you when they have reach the right age.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
9 May 07
Two of my children are grown and gone, only one left at home and she will be graduating soon. I don't think I would mind it so much if I was alone.
@parnap (124)
• Indonesia
4 May 07
sorry i never married before, maybe next year
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
9 May 07
Well, I hope if you do, you have a long happy marriage.
@calvin222 (1607)
• India
4 May 07
marriage - is it really worth it
Once was enough, the second time was too much. third time- NEVER!!! I dont know why i did it the second time either. We should get married just once and thereafter stick to live in relationships if at all.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
I hear ya!!
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
4 May 07
This is my 2nd marriage, my first only lasted 2 years. I really don't think I'd get married again. My husband and I have been married 20 years and I just don't see myself ever marrying someone else. I've never really thought about it though.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
I've been married almost ten years and if it don't work, I am done.
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
4 May 07
First let me say, I have lived with a wonderful, amazing man for 2 years. We have both been married 3 times, for vary lengths of time, my longest was 16 years. We are happy together, but neither one of us are in a hurry to rush down that path again. We have had people ask when we are going to get married (including my oldest daughter (25)), and our answer to them is, 'we have discussed marriage, and if we're together in 30 - 40 years, then we'll get married! lol I told him that I agree, if we can find a walker-accessible place, and if we can hear the preacher! lol I'm not sure, after my experiences, why there is such pressure put on couples to get married, if they are happy and treat each other well.........leave it alone! I can say that if anything happened to him, or we split up for some reason down the road (no one knows what will happen tomorrow), I don't care to start over with someone new, I don't think I could find another one that could fill his shoes.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
Each to their own, I know a lot of happily not married couples.
4 May 07
i'm currently separated but once divorced i would still remarry if i met the right person
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
Meeting the right person would have a lot to do with it. I'm not saying that if I was in your situation it couldn't happen, but I certainly wouldn't pursue it.
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
4 May 07
I agree 100 percent, this is the second time around for me and I wouldn't do it again. It wouldn't matter if I was divorced or widowed, I just can't see making room to accomadate another's new and exciting quirks at my age and stage in life. If something happened to me I wouldn't have a problem with my husband remarrying if it made him happy. But, god help the poor woman!
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
LOL, thanks for making me laugh, I would pity any other woman who married mine too!!
@lucky_witch (2710)
• Philippines
4 May 07
I think if you find the right person... and you think that you'll be happy... then why not!!! I guess couple divoce for some reasons but of course nobody wants a broken marriage but sometimes if there is nothing you can do to save a relationship gthen its better if you let go and be friends... like waht happen to me and my ex husband... we were married for almost 6 years and 3 years ago he fell inlove with someone new... we tried hard to make things work but nothing happen... then we decided to let go... Right now...were very good friends...
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
I was married 15 years to my ex when I left him. There were a lot of reasons why, but then I met and eventually married again. I'm not saying it can't be good the second time around it can, I just can't see myself doing it again.
@cyrile07 (236)
• Philippines
4 May 07
i never thought about marrying to someone again, even if i know that my life now is a mess and my husband and i are separated but not legally though.. (maybe that's the reason why i cant marry someone else LOL) well, marying again is a choose some people decide to do.. if they're happy about it then go on :)
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
4 May 07
I think some people need to be married, so keep trying it over and over.
@nigtvamp (102)
• United States
12 May 07
I'm not married. For very good reason. I didn't believe in marriage for a long time as a be all, end all to my life. I never felt like I needed to get married to have a life that was complete. If I had a partner I was happy with and he was happy with me, I never saw the need. In the future should marry and I find myself single again for whatever reason, that would be a tough call. It would really depend on the person and what I felt like doing. My take on relationshps has really changed since having a child. A person that may be good for me may not be good for him and vice versa. So, it really would depend.
@sunita64 (6469)
• India
12 May 07
Wow it seems you have an affectionate husband,with him around it is natural that you feel satisfied and in life never think of marrying again. Well as far as I am concerned I got my divorce 14years back and still single but once you have the taste of freedom then also you do not feel like marrying again.
• United States
5 May 07
I only want to get married once