Things Cats MUST Remember
May 4, 2007 11:02pm CST
(ok. . . things we would like cats to remember) Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself. I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves. If I play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true. If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry. The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files." My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help. Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail. No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys. The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor. I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat. I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee. If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end. The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it. If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty. As talented as I may be with kitty litter, my human will not be impressed with my attempts to build sand castles in the litter box.
6 people like this
• United States
5 May 07
LOL I think it depends on a cat's likes and dislikes. I had one cat that would eat green salad with me....but only as long as it had creamy italian dressing on it. Thanks hon. (and yes...I've had many cats in my life, so I think I qualify to be called 'experienced in feline etiquette'. LOL)
5 May 07
cute, just had to rate that positive. My cat doesn't do things like that anymore, being that she's 21. However I remember those days...Right now she spends most of her days, sitting in the sun, waiting for me to bring her wet cat food that is mixed in water, for her digestion, and did I mention that she has her own fountain? She refuses to drink out of a regular water dish, so...sigh... yes I'm her slave it seems.
5 May 07
hahahaha Another one that reminds me of Shakti and Mysti. ;-) Cats are the best. I love mine and myboyfriend's cats. Someone needs to write a book of all the great kitty jokes and rules. A lot of them are truer than anyone would ever imagine.
6 May 07
Now there is some one who understands cats, which is saying a great deal, as cats truly believe that they are much more attractive if the is a big mystery to them, and if every once in a while we get a glimmer it only means the cat is going to change tactics. trust me I know. Every cat considers its self a teacher, and has chosen the most difficult student in the world a human, the success rate is minimal and the pay is barely edible food, perhaps that explains every thing. Or maybe it explains nothing, and the cat refuses to talk.