Am I good without doing anything good?

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I haven't slept last night realising something that this year maybe the worst year for me. Not worst in enjoyment but worst because of this attitude of mine. I guess all i did was bad unlike those past years, i know theres good inside of me. but now i was always involve in fighting. Sometimes i asked myself is this the real me? i think im really bad right now. I think I really was changed. I want my life before in which i helped people when i have something to help or if someone needs me, i think that was never happened to me this year..Am i funny writing this to mylot? Can you give me guys something an advice or whatever?