Messed Up Nursery Rhymes

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Yes, these are all my own...here you are! Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down And broke is crown And Jill said "i always knew you were a worthless clutz." The itsy bitsy spider Climbed up trhe water spout Down came the rain And washed the spider out Out came the dun And dried up all the rain And the itsy bitsy spider went up the the spout and said "WTF? Why'd you wash me out like that b*tch?" and the spout said "Cuz i don't want you up my a$$, you ho!" Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man! Bake me a cake as fast as you can! Pat it, and roll it and mark it with whatever you want Because i'm hungry and i want my damned cake! Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put Humpty together again cuz they lsot some of the pieces!