Deployments.

@cherhost (1072)
United States
May 8, 2007 11:10pm CST
Hey guys! I just wanted to share with you all that I really truely hate deployments. I just hate the few days afterthey leave. I am so lost right now... I thought it would be easier since this is not my first... I was wrong it is HARDER! I never thought that I would let my guard down like this. I have been the most sad person all day. The lady at the grocery store even asked me if I was ok. How funny is that one?! I know it will work out... it is just hte first week and weekend. Then I think I will be good. But there is nothing more that I can do other then to vent to you wonderful poeple on mylot. Hope you have a great week!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@JC1969 (1226)
• United States
10 May 07
Been there done that for almost 20 years now. When I was younger and had to deal with it, it seemed to weigh on me more. But now, I have so many things to do and occupy my time that I don't allow myself to wander the realms of sad and longing for too long. Early on, I started keeping 'separation journals' and would log my daily events and vents. It always seems like when they leave anything and everything that can go wrong at home does LOL. Make sure you keep busy, and definitely make sure you schedule in some time to pamper yourself and be good to you. I can't stress enough that you cannot allow yourself to sit around and ponder it too much--you'll drive yourself insane. When my hubby goes TDY or Deploys, I seem to turn into wonder woman and like the challenges I am presented with. Sad moments are saved for bubble baths LOL. Be good to you, keep busy, and time will pass faster.
1 person likes this
@cherhost (1072)
• United States
10 May 07
Even tho you say do not sit around and ponder... I am out doing yard work and all of a sudden he comes up... it is never going to leave me... but that is ok.... I have been through this once, had my kid while he was gone... I think me doing it again will just make me stronger. But thank you!!!!
1 person likes this
@JC1969 (1226)
• United States
10 May 07
Awww *hugs* It will get easier. You just have to find your focus--something positive that will help you feel empowered and not give into feeling bad about it. Like when the thoughts return to him, don't focus on the fact that he isn't there, focus on good memories you have with him and or plans for future memories you want to create on his return. At least this way the thoughts don't always have to have a sad tone to it. Mine's going away soon too, and to me it's just like 'another day in the life and times'.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 07
Hey lady! I SO know what you are going through. My husband left last week and I cried on and off a little the first few days, but then day four and five were nightmares! I sat down in the floor one night and just sobbed. I also just moved down here because we just got married a little over a month ago, so I don't really know anyone, either, so I feel more alone than ever. I also work from home, so that makes it harder to meet folks. Anyway...I hope things are looking up for you. We have our good days and bad. I personally create milestones for me to reach until his return. It makes the wait seem shorter. Any event or friend coming down or me going somewhere gives me a date to work towards that isn't FOREVER away!
@cherhost (1072)
• United States
17 May 07
Hello! You said down here... where is down here??? Just a question if you dont wnat to answeer it I understand. IIt is very hard to deal with everyday things thatyou would do with you spouse. But hang in there... Is this the first one that you have directly had to deal with??? I have been doing better. My hubby left me with a messs... he never got a POA for me and now I can not get the plates on my car.... they expire on the 31st. So pretty much I am screwed. Oh well I have to figure something out. But only time will tell. Well I added you as a friend so if you need anything let me know. And if you and I are from the same area maybe we can meet up for lunch.... take care
@elisa812 (3031)
• United States
17 May 07
Just thought I would say hello cause I noticed we're in a similar situation. My husband got deployed about 3 weeks after we were married...seems like there are so many separated newlyweds! Anyway, the milestone thing is a great idea! I think those really help make the time go by quicker. :) I'm sure you'll meet some new friends over time! Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to! :)
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
9 May 07
My heart goes out to you and your family. My ex husband was in the air force so I do know how you feel. It is hard keeping the family up once the husband is deployed. God bless you and your family.
@cherhost (1072)
• United States
9 May 07
Thank you! It is people like you who make me know that he is appreciated for his work. THanks again....:)
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
9 May 07
oh man...don't thank me, I thank YOU for holding up the man and his family that is protecting me and my country!! I am sure you and your kids are the driving force behind him going to protect the rest of us. You take care and just remember that you and that man of yours is appreciated beyond words.
@bgreen8 (266)
• United States
18 May 07
I hope that it gets better for you. :) My cousin is in the Marine Corp and right now he is at Camp Lejeune training for his job. I can understand what you are going through cause I see what my cousin's wife and mom are going through right now.
@cherhost (1072)
• United States
18 May 07
THanks sweetie! I love it when I hear that other famiy members are really feeling it too... just because it seems most of it is dropped on a spouse and that is it. So now you have a different perspective of it. It is hard but just as long as we all stick together we will make it:)
@elisa812 (3031)
• United States
9 May 07
Oh I love your picture, that's so sweet! Yeah, I know what you mean, my husband is deployed right now too. We just hit the 2 month mark yesterday, so I was practically throwing a party, lol. It's my first deployment, so it's been pretty weird, but I'm finally sort of in a routine now and getting used to it. That first week or two is definitely the most awful though! I remember just randomly bursting into tears on a daily basis, so I totally know what you're going through! I had that same lost and empty feeling for awhile too. Hopefully your first couple weeks will go quickly! It's so great too once you get into the next month, just cause you're finally not in the same month that he left! lol I've been trying to break up the time to make it seem quicker. I know it sounds kind of bad, but I'm sort of going from paycheck to paycheck since it's at least a little bigger chunk than just week to week, but it breaks up the month a little more so it's easier to handle. I think it's sort of helping things to seem faster somehow to me. Oh, and putting together care packages is like therapy!! lol That helped me so much right after he left, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to send it for a couple more weeks. Anyway, sorry, I'm sure you already know all this stuff since you've been through it before! lol If you ever need to talk to someone else who's going through it, feel free to PM me! I hope you're feeling better soon!! :)
@cherhost (1072)
• United States
10 May 07
Thank you... you and your husband will be in my prayers! Things got better I think I just needed to get over the first day. I am now writing a book for him so when we get addresses and such he is going to have a ton to catch up on. Oh and do u know that you can call the USPS and they send you free boxes and such??? Let me know if you want the number. I ordered mine already! Stay strong and we are here for you too.
• United States
9 May 07
I know what that is like. Yes, the 1st week is always the hardest...no matter what other people say to you or how hard you try not to think about it. Just keep yourself busy doing the stuff you enjoy. For me, I spent my time with our child (we would go to the parks, playgroups, etc), re-organizing and decorating the home to surprise him for when he returns, volunteer work (that really gave me a sense of purpose and took my mind away from just missing him all the time) and shopping!! (retail therapy never fails! Keep your chin up, girl. It will get "easier". As the saying goes...we have the toughest job in the world!
@cherhost (1072)
• United States
9 May 07
And you just spoke the truth! But thank you for you ideas... I have so much to do I just didnt even want to leave the house... sad huh... but thank you again. I think I will try the whole retail therapy:)
• United States
15 Jan 08
I'm sorry that I haven't been on much, but I saw your discussion and I needed to comments. My husband was gone for two years and you are right, it's not easy. It is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do...but I had my Lord, my son, and my friends to help me. I want to share this one saying that Helped me through a lot. I might have already said this to you but it's worth repeating. YOU ARE ONE DAY CLOSER! one day closer to hearing his voice again, one day closer of looking into his eyes and one day closer of him holding you in his arms. If you need anything just let me know. Always Praying, Tanya
@asgtswife04 (2480)
• United States
21 Sep 07
I totally understand what your goign through. My husband is on his second tour since we've been married and we've only been married for a little over three years. it's so difficult and there are days i don't feel like I can cope anymore. This deployment has been so much harder than the first one. i feel like my world has been ripped away from me and i am so lonely. but i have three children that help me get through it. my husband and i have a 16 month old, so she keeps me busy and my boys help me out tremendously to. just keep your head up. stay strong! everything will be okay
@mamasan34 (6520)
• United States
20 May 07
I know what you mean! I am about to go through this again myself. In two weeks my husband will be deploying again. I thought it would be easier too, being that I went through this before, but it only gets harder. You spend the time with them and get used to them being home and then bam, they are gone again. My heart is breaking right now and he hasn't even left yet. I will probably be as lost as you his first few days he is gone. I hope your feeling better and not so lost today!