How Do You Have Patience With Difficult People?

Tweet

I know someone that is messed up behind the way her mother treated her. She said that her mother never even talked to her as a child and all the information she has, she got from her sister. Now according to her sister, her mom was taking tranquilizers when she was pregnant with her, because she could not cope with the dad being off at war. Because of this, she was born severely handicap and was a slow learner. The doctors say that hse should not have lived and more often than not, she wishes that she had not lived. The mother told her from as far back as she could remember that she was not going to give her any special attention, because she had three other children to raise. Not only did she beat and abuse her on a regular basis, but she allowed and encouraged the other kids to do it too. She never took her to the doctor and the hospital where she was born as since burned down, so there are no records of her problems as a child, so she can not get the right amount of help now. It affects me because I have tried my best to help her and be a friend to her, but her problems have become so much that I had to give up the friendship. She does some really weird things that puzzle me. I feel bad, but there is not more that I can do, there have even been times where she has upset me so bad that I have said, I see why your mother abused you. That may sound horrible, but she can take you to a place of anger that you do not want to go. The last fight we had, she had been in my apartment for about four hours and it was now 1:34 a.m. She has a habit of getting very excited when discussing abuse of children, animals, or anyone/thing that is helpless. Anyway she had been ranting about a news story for about an hour. Some children had got into an alligator enclosure and the alligator had eaten one of the three boys, so they put the alligator to death. Sure it's a sad story, for the child and the animal, but she went on for at least and hour, yelling about how stupid the kids were. By 1:34a.m., I am sleepy, I have a headache from her screaming and I need for her to go home. I suddenly remember that her leaving has been a problem several times before so I ask her has gently as possible to leave and we can finish the discussion tommorow. She says, I have one more thing to say, so I listened. Then, I ask her to leave again and she keeps talking like she does not hear me. So I say it louder and firmer, could you please leave. She does not move from the chair, but continues to talk. Finally, I lose my patience and slam my fist on my desk and start yelling, by now, we have awaken my roommate who is playing possum. I get up. I say, you need to leave now, and she slowly moves to the door. I see myself body slamming her against the wall in my mind and it feels so good. I go forward to hit her, but she moves just in time. When she gets out, I reach out for the satisfaction ofhitting her, but she gets away in time. How do you feel soory for someone like this. I mean, I am torn because of the hell, she has been through, but I have to be aware of my own sanity. There was another time when she was in my apartment and we were watching television and she got up to try to fix my antena, but in the process she was coming very close to knocking over a glass frame that my sister had given me for Christmas. I kept telling her to stop, but she would not listen. I had to physically stop her. She is not hard of hearing, because she listens to my conversations from another room all the time and tells me exactly what was said. How do I deal with some like this? So anyway, back to the last time we had a fight. The next day, when she realizes that I have not decided to forgive her, she comes by and hits my window real hard, almost breaking it. I was on my computer, which sits right in front of the window, so this really scare me good. So good, in fact, that I could not take the chance of her doing it again, so I called the police right away. When they came, she had gone up to her apartment. They went up to talk to her and advised her that we should stay away from each other, because the friendship was over. Then around four o'clock the next morning, she wakes me up by calling and leaving mean things on my answering machine. So I call her and tell her that if she does not stop, I will call the police again, so she stops that. Then the next time I see her, she is out with one of the neighbors, loudly talking all kinds of crap about me. So I comfront her and let her know that I have not done anything to her yet, but she is out hear talking about me like I have four legs and a tail. She gives a half-hearted apology and then walks away. A few days later, I find her in my entry hall, talking to my roommate, trying to inch her way into the apartment. I said, take that outside, you know you are not allowed in here any more. Now the thing about it is, this is someone that I have really come to care about, but I just don't feel like I can afford to be nice to her anymore. She has done this to many times and went to far. This time, I had to call the police. If I allow this to happen again, it will be my fault for letting her back in and I will go to jail for doing only God knows what to her. How would you deal with this?