Does it hurt you when you have to punish your child?
By TriciaW
@TriciaW (2441)
United States
May 9, 2007 6:00am CST
I know if you give into tears with a punishment that it will teach them that if they cry hard enough or long enough that mom will give in and that isn't a good thing. I just sometimes feel so bad though when I know their tears are real. My daughter tends to throw fits and punishments for her are not easy because normally she just doesn't care. To get her to mind I have to take away things that are important to her so that she knows with her actions come a punishment. Yesterday was one of those days. She hit her cousin at school and came home not listening or doing anything she is supposed to do. I made her call her cousin and tell him she was sorry. She really did not want to do it but did. I had given her many warnings that if she did not do what she was supposed to do that she would not be allowed to go to softball practice (the only thing she wasn't grounded from) She slipped out of the house without me seeing and played with friends. She came home ready to go to softball practice and was totally upset when I said no. Her tears were real but I knew if I gave into them she would know that was all it took and she wouldn't have to do the other things. It really broke my heart. Would you or have you stuck to your punishment if your child completely disobyed you?
4 people like this
12 responses
@mujtab20 (434)
• Nigeria
9 May 07
Yes it really hurt, but then I'm doing it for their on good and mine too. So I just have to take heart, close my eyes and do it (punish them) no matter what it takes so that tomorror they will not rpeat it. thank
@tad1fan (3367)
• Canada
12 May 07
Most definitely!Just think,if your child is sneaking out of the house and thinking she can get away with it now,what will she be like when she's older?I applaud you on sticking to your word as I know many parents who don't and than wonder why their children don't listen to them
@fox123 (285)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Yes it really hurts if i see my kid cries due to some punishment i gave , not the physical one of course, but on grounding issues but i must be firmed on this situation..
@tonivandross (143)
• United States
10 May 07
it does hurt when you hae to punish your child some times i think they can sense this and use it to try and get out of being punished.so we have to keep it up so they can learn from it
@kumbarn14 (735)
• Pakistan
10 May 07
It is very, very hard to hurt the kids, but sometimes for the things they do you go crazy and you forget about everything and punish them. Just after a couple of hours later you feel so sorry, you go to their bedroom, hug them and say I am sorry and kiss them and tell them not to do such things again. Finally they too cry and say sorry mama. May God bless all children they are our loved ones.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
9 May 07
I feel bad that they are crying or upset but no it doesnt hurt me to punish them..Bottomline is this, I have rules....these rules exist for their safety and well-being...when I punish them it is becuase they broke a rule and I will not stand for that BECAUSE the rules are for their safety and well-being....make sense?
of course my kids are older now so they KNOW why their in trouble so I dont even feel bad when they are upset anymore...they're old enough to keep their brains fully engaged, if they DONT its NOT my problem ;-)
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
10 May 07
Of course i will be firm and say no if my child is disobedient, even though i see tears on their eyes.. i msut be strong i guess its one way of disciplining our children to become responsible adult in the near future, although it hurt us since we love them that much, but we must not show it to them..and of course we must explain everything why we do such thing to them for them not to be confused and recognized theor mistakes.
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
10 May 07
It hurts me so much to spank my child on her bottom when I had exhaust all my voice and energy to repeat telling her not to jump on the bed or in the couch and also running downstairs and attempting to open the front door. I am very vigilant with her but it takes only a few seconds for accident to happen. She loves to jump in the bed or the couch and God forbid she might bounced of and the couch is near a window and the bedroom has the dresser, nighttime table or even the wall to bounce into. Plus opening the front door (it has the type of lock that can't be childproof, I resulted to tying a rope in the handle to the bannister coz we lived on the 2nd floor).
So now, she doesn't do these things anymore because I asked if she wanted Mama to be upset and give her a spanking and she doesn't want me to be upset or the spanking. After I punished her, I explained to her why I did it so she will have the idea why she is being punished.
It hurts to discipline them seeing all the tears and screaming. I always think of how for 9 months I had her in my womb...but if I gave in now that she is a toddler, how can I discipline her when she will get older and will get more rebellious. So, even if it upset me so much, I stick to my punishment.
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
9 May 07
yes, it does hurt to punish my children. It is true when Mom and Dad used to say "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" an emotional hurt, I think, is often more piercing than a physical or material one.
To tell my child no - or to restrict their priveleges because of poor behavior is very difficult and I struggle to not give in. but, they have to be able to trust me - and if I warn them that continuing in a behavior will result in a loss of certain privileges, well then I better follow through.
yesterday the 5 yo poked a hole into the couch, purposefully. the child is now punished from sitting on the couch for the rest of the week. when she cried she wanted to sit on the couch to be next to me - it was difficult to not give in. but how will she ever respect me or my rules if she can not trust either?
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
9 May 07
I don't feel bad when I have to punish one of my children. We have a set of rules and we also have a set of consequences. They know what will happen when they break a certain rule. If they decide to break the rule then they decided that they could handle the consequence.
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
10 May 07
Yes, it does hurt when we have to punish our children for their misbehaviour. Sometimes it is necessary to be strict to our children. Many times, I gave in when they started to cry or refuses to take meal. I just couldnt stand seeing them sad or unhappy.
