relentless 3 year old

Well by the time we moved so much of it was ingrained into her it didn't help. She's also Bipolar with ODD (oppositional difiance disorder which many bipolars have). She comes by that part naturally, it runs in the family but she's gotten a lot better and we don't have near that type of problems that we had when she was younger.

Things have gotten a little better since i have first posted this discussion. I have taken some of the advice given. She doesnt whine as much anymore but she is still relentless not as bad as the young lady you mentioned but she dont give up without a fight most the times. LOL Thank you for sharing your experience. Have a wonderful day.

I know how you are feeling. You put her in alone time and when she starts to cry or to start up again, it makes you feel like if you don't respond to her, then you're not being a good mommy, or you worry that she may think you don't love her. At times like this, kids often work themselves up into a frenzy just trying to gain back the control of the situation. I'm not saying that kids are calculating, and I don't think that they, at that age, consciously make the decision to try to regain control. I do think that she remembers how you would give in to her, and she wants that back. So, when she begins crying during her time alone, you feel guilty, and if you give in, it starts over the cycle. My kids used to fool me like that also. I would put them in their room and they would stop crying immediately, and tell me that they learned their lesson, etc. then would start up again as soon as I let them out. Or, they would be in their room for a little while, quiet down, then start screaming again. In cases like that, give her the time alone in relation to her age. Let her stay there for 3 minutes. And she will be totally fine during that time. If she cries more, just remind yourself that she is doing this because she isn't getting her way. The only time this wouldn't be the case is if she did something to harm herself. It does take patience and perserverance. And, when you decide that you want to gain back control, you may have to do this 100 times a day to get it through to her. As long as you are consistent, the amount of times you have to give her these times alone will decrease. I'm not saying they will totally stop, but it will be alot easier to handle when it does happen. When I started this with my kids, it seemed like they were teaming up on me. Which is not a fair fight - 3 against one. I remember having to put all three kids in their rooms, then sitting downstairs and bawling like a baby. I turned up the television so that they wouldn't hear me, so they didn't know that they had gotten to me. It will be stresful at first, but it will pay off. Sounds like you need a break too! It gets so difficult to deal with little ones when you have been dealing with them all day, every day 24/7. If you don't get a break away from them, you tend to go into melt-down mode a lot easier. I know I did! When I realized this, I finally told my husband, who is not always the most agreeable person, that I was going to take a trip to the store and that he was in charge of the kids (this was on one of his days off). I took my time and stayed gone for a good long while. I felt so free! But, it also helped me to recharge and gave me a bit more patience to deal with the kids.

wow thanks for the great advice. I have been trying to work on getting things under control the method i have been trying to reinforse is the alone time in a room by herself it seems to work to stop the tantrum that is happening but then she seems to go into another because she desperately needs me and i try to tell her that once she stops crying i can talk to her and she just dont stop. So i say are you done being bad and crying over whatever it was that she was tantruming about and she says no then i tell her to come here but then it just starts all over again back to the beginning of her wanting what i told her she couldnt have in the first place. so i dont give into her desperately needing me anymore either. I feel like i am going in cicles.

i agree it does take alot of patience that i struggle to keep sometimes. I often find myself going to hide out for a few minutes so i dont lose my patience. Thanks for the comment

I have also tried distraction and i am sorry to say that has pretty much blown up in my face. If it a snack then she thought if she did her bad behavior she would get a snack, or if it was a chance to play her sisters game cube which she loves then she would misbehave to be allowed to do that. she also gets it into her head that if she was alowed to do something once then she should be alowed to do it all the time with or with out permission so then that causes more bad behavior. Just be careful with what you think is a distraction your child may be seeing at as a reward. Thank you for your comment

I agree she would never get what she wanted if it were something that would harm her. But she has managed to get her way in the past with a tantrum and i know that is where i went wrong. But i am working to correct my mistake. Thank you for your comment have a wonderfull day

I agree that i have made more problems for myself for being so leniant with her or just giving into her. I am really trying these last few days since the post and all the great responces to change the way i was handling her. thank you

I agree that we should never give into tantrums. Thank you for your advice and this is something that is possible to do, although she does like to just follow me around when she is throwing a tantrum i will have to find a way to keep her put. Because she also doesnt listen to stay on that couch young lady either. or anything like that.

Thank you so much for your suggestion. It is hard to ignore her, but it is always worth a try.