Turning Down New Friends On Mylot

@wachit14 (3600)
United States
May 12, 2007 9:06am CST
I've read several discussions and have viewed several profiles that are either turning away new friends or limiting which friends they will accept. I don't get it so, without being judgmental, maybe someone can explain to me why this happens. Just for the record, I haven't turned down anyone. I feel blessed that people would want to add me to their lists and vice versa. I'm sure some folks have underlying motives, but for the most part, everyone here has been respectiful and supportive. How do you feel about this issue? Have you turned away friends for any reason and if so why or do you accept anyone who extends their hand in friendship?
5 people like this
14 responses
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
13 May 07
I don't accept all friends requests. I first check out their profile - most of them are asian or philipine (nothing wrong with that, it's just an obversavation for my example). Their discussions are not something that would interest me, and they have not posted to any of the same discussions that I have. Most of them do not share any of my interests. I wonder how they have gotten my username??? If this is the case, I deny them. If not, I accept them. In the beginning, I accepted all of them. I had one in particular that fit the above description, and when I would check to see what my "friends" were posting I had a truck-load of moronic postings to wade through to find something that was interesting to me. I deleted that friend and now my friends discussions are not nearly as cluttered with meaningless posts. A lot of people think if they add friends, then the friends will post to their discussions (that's how it should work, right?) and they'll get paid for. What does not happen is the reciporciation of postings. I deleted those too. I use my friends list for "friends", people I have something in common with or share an interest with and can discuss things with - to our mutual benefit. Sorry to go on so, but that's my take on it.
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13145)
• United States
13 May 07
reinydawn that is what I've noticed too. I get some that apply to be friends and yet there is nothing in their postings to show where they would even have found my name. They haven't posted to any of my discussions or even any of the discussions I have posted to. I didn't post to any of theirs so wher did they find me?
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
13 May 07
Yeah, I wonder how they find me also. Most of the time they have well over 500 friends, but have only been a member for a week or two. They're probably going through the member list and just adding everyone.
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
13 May 07
Hi wachit. I used to be very selective in accepting anyone who wished to be my friend but my best friend here told me that I might offend the one I denied. Eventually, I started to accept everyone but I found that this was not what I like. I honestly do not mind if its a newbie only. I once been a newbie also and I knew how it felt to be denied. But I know how to show my support by partaking in all my friend's discussions. I believe that be doing so, I was able to learn or catch a glimpse of my friend's personality. I have to delete a few of them because they did nothing but to keep posting 8 to 10 discussions within the minute, topics that are obnoxious and spamming.
• United States
13 May 07
i'm pretty new, so i've been accepting everyone. i guess unless someone is real rude in a discussion i start, then maybe i wouldn't want them as a friend, but everyone is here just chatting and i think it's great. everyone i have requested as friends have accepted me, so i've been accepting people too. it's nice to have a support circle. i hope to gain more new friends! good question wachit14!!
• India
12 May 07
why would you tuen down friends ... i see many of my friends... who come to my discussions to reply... they can always see my discussions ... so its easier...the more the friends.. the more you see their discussions... you can help each other out ... and its good and almost every manner... until the friend is spamming you...
1 person likes this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
12 May 07
I have noticed that too. I haven't turned anyone down yet.I have no idea why they turned them down maybe they don't have teh same discussion as they have.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 May 07
Hi dear! I never turned down a friend's request. I do check the profile and sometimes, I check their "discussions replied too" So I can have an idea if they responded to a friend, or have almost the same interest like me. But I will still add anyone. And also because I feel honored to have been extended a hand of friendship. And especially to the ones who accepted me too, like you dear. Happy Mother's day! (^^,)
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
12 May 07
Hello,wachit14,i have never rejected any friend requests and i will accept to people unless there is clear evidence that they are spammers or have copied and pasted other discussions,i would put them on hold. I did not want to deny people as I though it would make people unhappy,we were here to have fun,so we should accept other people and make them happy.I will also be happy to meet more new friends here.
@mahmah (436)
• United States
13 May 07
Since I started here at myLot I have accepted everyone that has requested to be my friend and I also ask the people that respond to my discussions and of course the person that I mark for best response. I figure the more people I choose to make friends, the more diverse the discussions and answers become. I don't see the point to limiting who I accept. I don't care the age, where they are from, their opinion (even if it doesn't agree with mine), anything. It does not matter. I don't understand why people don't allow everyone. In my opinion it would be to all our benefit if we accepted everyone we could. More people more answers. :) mahmah
@Serina (70)
• United States
13 May 07
I am still quite new here and feeling out the place. So far I have had one person request to be my friend and had others I have requested accept my invitations. Though I have not been asking a lot because I am still trying to figure out the protocal and how others feel about this particular situation. Thank you for asking this question because it has helped me to understand how many feel about this. Personally I cannot see myself turning anyone away requesting my friendship.
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
13 May 07
Why would you want to just add any random person to your friends list? I mean adding friends on-line is like adding friends off-line. You're picky about who you associate with. If you don't have anything in common with these people then why would you want to add them to your list. I mean are you that hard up for people to like you and accept you that you just let anyone be your friend?
@Stiletto (4584)
13 May 07
When I get a friends request I first look to see if I've responded to one of their discussions or if they have responded to one of mine. Then I have a look at their discussions in general to see what their like and to try to get a sense of whether I have anything in common with the person. I see no point in just accepting everyone simply because if I'm not likely to want to respond to any of their discussions or they are not likely to want to respond to any of mine then what's the point? It would also drive me nuts if I got some of the messages on my profile that I see others getting and for me it's not a problem because I am selective about adding friends - just as in "real life"! Your interpretation of the motivation behind some friends requests is a nice one but unfortunately a lot of them I get are clearly not like that at all - it's just people who work their way through discussions randomly sending friends requests to whatever names they see.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
13 May 07
If I get a friend request and i find that they have not responded to the same questions that I have responded to, nor are thier discussions something that i would respond to the question that I ask myself is "Why are they requesting me?" and "How did they find me." I've noticed that a lot of the people who request everyone for their friends list are the same people who are involved in the cut and paste phenomena or they are big time link posters. I want neither of these on my friends list. I think it's best to be discerning.
@emeraldisle (13145)
• United States
13 May 07
I used to accept everyone until I started getting spammed. There are some who try to get ones to be their friend so they can PM them things like referral links another activities like that. I have also had my share of friends that I accepted and all they do are post discussions that will end up being deleted because they violate the guidelines. I am now more particular. I look over their profile, see where they are from and their age, see what discussiosn they have done, what ones they have replied to and such. I then go from there and decide whether to accept them or not.
• United States
13 May 07
I have never turned down a friend anywhere. For two reasons, the first is that you can't really get to know a person until you have been talking to them for a while and because you can never really have too many friends. I also know how to delete a friend if they turn out to be less that that. I just feel that everyone deserves a chance.