I'm So Confused (Need Some Advice & just need to VENT)
By Duvessa
@Duvessa (913)
United States
May 13, 2007 2:49pm CST
Last weekend while at a local piano bar with my sister & mother I met the most awesome, perfect guy. I stood up to go get another drink & there he was smiling down at me in all of his 6'7, skinny, tattooed hottness. I nearly fainted, if I'd of been sober I probably would have, but since I had a pretty good buzz going on & was feeling flirty I simply smiled and said "holy S**T you're F-ing HOT!"In response he grinned, grabbed me & we started dancing. We didn't leave each others side all nite long. It seemed like we just instantly connected. At some point during the nite I found out he was in the Army & was to be deployed to Iraq on Friday for 15 months. It made me sad.
Anyway, I ended up going to see him on Sunday night & spent the night & the next 2 days with him. He seemed to be totally into me & was really nice & even brushed my tears away when I cried while telling him farewell. He told me to call him that nite, & that he wanted to keep in contact while he was gone & also that he wanted to see me again when he returned...I was on cloud 9...
So I called him Tuesday nite, he answered & said he was busy packing & cleaning but he'd call me back later. He never did. The next day I finally got ahold of him only to find out he was mad at me for contacting his twin brother through his myspace, I was only joking around with his brother & thought it would be totally cool to have 2 freeking identical hot, tattooed army guys on my friends list. Well He got mad because he said his brother had called him yelling at him wanting to know who the hell I was & why I was trying to add him as a friend...
OK, so if his brother was mad that I tried to add him then WHY would he have approved my friend request?
So anyway after that call he said he'd call me back but again, never did. I finally got ahold of him at 1am, woke him up, & he said he wasn't ignoring me but he'd been sleeping since 9pm, then he said "baby someone's knocking on my door, gotta go" and hung up on me & I haven't heard a word from him since...
That really ticked me off & I deleted his number from my phone...
But I can't get him out of my head...I'm obsessed with him...
My mom & sister said that it doesn't make sense either because they both thought he was really nice & totally into me for more than just a weekend fling...
Normally I am one of those girls who can sometimes fall too hard too fast...but that's usually after a few months of seeing a guy...
But I've NEVER had anything like this happen, I've never been totally crazy over a guy, thinking he's absolutly prefct for me after only a couple of days, I've never felt like I had such a great connection with a guy right off the bat...
I can't get him out of my freeking head, everything reminds me of him, & I've been dreaming about him every nite...
This is freaking crazy, I'm totally obsessed with him & darn it I want him for my own!
So I was just wondering what are your thoughts on this?
8 people like this
12 responses
@Anakata2007 (1785)
• Canada
13 May 07
my thoughts are this...you will never know what happenned. Ever, you have to let it go. Let him go. Anything that you do now will be considered stalking or chasing him, which is unattractive. It's HIS move and if he doesn't make it, then he's just not that interested and nothing you do can make him interested. To get over your obsession, wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap it hard whenver you find your thoughts drifting back to him. This is called unrequited love, and everyone deals with this at least 10 times in their life.
3 people like this
@paidreader (5143)
• United States
13 May 07
Obviously you both felt a connection or you wouldn't have spent so much time together. I would suggest letting him make the next move. At this point he may have important issues going on and hadn't counted on how things would go next. See how things go for the few days before he leaves. Keep in touch with him, if possible, thru email & his myspace page. I'm sure he will appreciate contact from home while he is out of the country, I think most of our soldiers do. Build a stronger relationship with him, even if it winds up just being friends by the end. ;)
2 people like this
@Duvessa (913)
• United States
16 May 07
I've tried...
I emailed him twice through his myspace, but he hasn't replied...
He was online monday & I know he was online for 2hrs at least on myspace yesterday, but he still didn't respond to my email, he also denied the comment & pic comments I left him...
So yeah, I think I got used & tossed away like trash :-(
1 person likes this
@paidreader (5143)
• United States
14 May 07
Ahhh. So stay in contact online. He'll probably appreciate the contact after he's been there for a while.
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
13 May 07
Here is my two cents.... Don't know if it will help.
You met this guy, he liked you you liked him but then you called him and called him and called him. Maybe you freaked him out a little bit and he began to worry that you were crazy and he'd made a mistake. Or maybe when you tried to add his brother as a friend on myspace he began to worry that maybe you would try to....do things.... with his brother while he was away in Iraq. Afterall you two did just meet and you really don't know eachother well. Maybe he is just a jerkface and wanted to score with a pretty face before he goes off to Iraq? Who knows. I would say just leave it be. If he calls you then cool pick it back up but be slow with it. If he never contacts you think of it as a wonderful time that has past. keep looking there are a lot of amazingly wonderful guys out there.
2 people like this
@Duvessa (913)
• United States
13 May 07
Well his brother lives in oregon & I'm in GA so there's no way anything could happen between us, lol
And I only called him cause he told me to...
And I didn't like callhim every 15mns or something, I waited lke 6 or 7 hours in between calls...
BLAH.
So then I really do screw up all of my relationships just like my ex told me...
I feel like a loser... :-(
3 people like this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
13 May 07
I wasn't inferring that at all. I was only trying to help you with a possible explanation. Either way it's done and over with and you can move on. I mean you are pretty and young and witty and intelligent. He probably was just a jerface (to put it nicely) otherwise he woulda called you and not left you to call him and would ahve talked to you rather than brush you off. Some guys just suck.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
14 May 07
I think that instead of testing the water, you dived in headlong. Love at first sight is very rare. Most guys will tell you what they think you want to hear. I have never been the type to pursue a guy even though it is common these days. You should have waited for him to call, left a little mystery. I come from a simpler time when a lot of things I see girls doing today just weren't done. I don't know if you'll ever hear from this guy again. It sounds like just lust to me. There's a lot to be said for getting to know someone before you take the plunge. I wish you good luck.
1 person likes this
@Duvessa (913)
• United States
14 May 07
Yeah well I'm not going to contact him anymore, maybe then he'll be curious enough to know what's going on with me to contact me...
I know, I really do like him, but I didn't mean to scare him away, I've never been this way with a guy before... :-/
1 person likes this
@r4y_m4n (93)
• United States
13 May 07
seems like he's a player....he just wanted a one night stand or something
and i think you kind of freak him out, i mean it seems like your constantly calling him, which does scared of guys...
i mean they do have movies somewhat like this where the guy just wanted some and so when they first meet, they tell a lie like "im going to iraq in 1 week"
and he might've gotten mad about the myspace because then you'll prob find out his true identity
but if he is a real deal and he does like you....don't freak him out by calling him at 1am in the morning and constantly calling...
1 person likes this
@Duvessa (913)
• United States
14 May 07
No, he did go to Iraq, I was there when the movers came & took his packed up stuff away for storage...
And I didn't callhim that much...
But like I said I deleted his number & I only wrote him one more email on myspace telling him I wanted to at least be friends if that was what he wanted...
1 person likes this
@aniez0906 (263)
• Indonesia
14 May 07
oh yeah, i will think the same opinion if i met that person too. i hope to night you will get better sleep, and if you wake up next day you will get new solution about your problem
@innechen (1318)
• Indonesia
14 May 07
after reading your post carefully, my opinion is, you have made a mistake by adding his brother in your myspace.you should not do this since you just met him while ago and you didnt have any permission from him, and its make him jelous and thought that you are just fooling around with him.thats why he feel up sad to you, not becoz his brother yelling at him but because he feels thats you are trying to get close to his brother also.i think you should try to get over him and continue ur life
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
14 May 07
You have done what you can, i would leave it up to him now. Maybe send him a msg through myspace saying that u got the hint and that u thought that u had more than this.
I think that guys and girls sometimes falls to fast and to hard only to realise that it is not right. Maybe he also is scared to commit since he is going to be away for 15 months.
I am sure that his brother is not the real problem here.
My advice, no matter how hard it is , is to forget about him. If he is interested he will call u back, and of not then atleast u know.
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
21 May 07
It sounds like cupids been around!!
You'll have no choice but to take things slowly as he's gone for now. I think writing and calling him is a great way to make him yours. He needs all the support he can get now and I'm sure you're willing it give it to him. It's also a great way of getting to know one another.
Congrats on finding a great connection!!
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
14 May 07
you acted to needy this always scares guys off learn from your mistake !
@Duvessa (913)
• United States
14 May 07
How did I act to needy?
Well ok, I guess I should have waited for his call when he said he'd call back...I guess I shouldn't have called him, but god, I'm 27 I don't like playing stupid games, I'm an up front honest person, and I thought he was...so I didn't think I'd scare him off just because I liked him...
grrr
this freeking sucks
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
14 May 07
We always have this first time that we have a crash or fall in love. What i think is that his brother in not a good excuse. Maybe you were wrong, but it seems like it fits him well, your mistake, and you should ask yourself why is it like that.
I know that you apologized for the mistake, and if he really taught there was a chance of building up a relationship with you, he would have called.
But as we analyze the condition of a man that is going to Iraq for 15 months, he probably thought that there is no chance that this would develop to somthing serious, and he acted accordingly.
Do not be upset, just think how lucky you two were to have this few enjoyable nights together, and you do have to realize that a serious man will treat you differently then he did, and would not use his brother as an excuse.
Think of what i said.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
14 May 07
Your obsessed because you can't have him. That's the way it always works. Move on and forget about this guy. In the future, try to meet guys that are more available emotionally and physically. Also, if a guy doesn't call you back after the first time, take a hint and leave him alone. He's not going to be any more into you if you keep calling him. Also, it was a bad idea to contact his twin brother. If it was meant to be, you'd still be with him.
