What is your best joke??

United States
May 16, 2007 8:53pm CST
Make me laugh! Tell me your best joke here..... I love jokes and would like to read some good jokes...... Anybody got anything good? let me hear it!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@sweetsue (759)
• Philippines
17 May 07
WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she got the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 07
thank you for all those laughs they were pretty darn funny!
@astroo13 (965)
• India
21 May 07
Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new PC keyboard designed specifically for Windows. In addition to the keys found on the standard keyboard, Microsoft's new design adds several new keys which will make your Windows computing even more fun! The final specs are not yet set, so please feel free to make suggestions. The keys proposed so far are: 1) GPF key--This key will instantly generate a General Protection Fault when pressed. Microsoft representatives state that the purpose of the GPF key is to save Windows users time by eliminating the need to run an application in order to produce a General Protection Fault. 2) $$ key--When this key is pressed, money is transferred automatically from your bank account to Microsoft without the need for further action or third party intervention. 3) ZD key--This key was developed specifically for reviewers of Microsoft products. When pressed it inserts random superlative adjectives in any text which contains the words Microsoft or Windows within the file being edited. 4) MS key--This key runs a Microsoft commercial entitled "Computing for Mindless Drones" in a 1" x 1" window. 5) FUD key--Self explanatory. 6) Chicago key--Generates do nothing loops for months at a time. 7) IBM key--Searches your hard disk for operating systems or applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.
1 person likes this
• India
29 May 07
****************************************************************** :-) SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT :-) 20 Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun. __________________________________________________________ God made relatives...Thank God we can choose our friends ____________________________________________________________ Love is photogenic... It needs darkness to develop ___________________________________________________________ A good discussion is like a miniskirt... Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject! ____________________________________________________________ Children in backseats cause accidents... Accidents in backseats cause children ! (HEE HEE HEEE) ____________________________________________________ A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get started?" ____________________________________________________________ "What book do you like the best?" "My husband's cheque book." ******************************************************************
@maruti800 (353)
• India
18 May 07
sorry.. still i have not yet crossed 500 after that i will get copy & paste facility.. and I can paste lot of jokes here...