Great Love VS. True Love (The Real Deal)

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Cuddled up in my bed. Exchanging text messages with some friends. Sharing almost everything just to keep track of each other's lives. A friend of mine is in face to face with Mr.Heartache again. Talking to her wasn't that easy. It's never easy to tell someone that sometimes the love we thought would last will never LAST, and that we have to move on. As most of us always say... S*** DOES HAPPEN. And we can't do anything else but to deal with it! As I recall the night I had my last encounter with Mr. Heartache. It's about 2-3yrs. ago. I struggled hard to keep a relationship in which I thought was the right one for me. For FOUR on/off bitter-sweet-finally-went-sour relationship with him...I have blinded myself with the truth, went deaf from hearing lies, convinced that it's not all his fault afterall...as he said...he was just tempted, & with the award-winning dialogue of "IT ALL HAPPENDED TOO FAST!I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ANYMORE!" (uggh! can i just say...BULL**** here?!). I have been fighting for the relationship for FOUR wasteFULL YEARS! Thought the tears would never stop falling, thought the heartaches would never end, thought I'd be in that horrible pit that almost drained everything I am...forever. Then, a good friend of mine told me something that triggered me to start the move & make the change. As I told her that I'm still in disbelief that I am finally living a new life, with someone new (someone far better than him), and I just can't believe seein' myself enjoyin' it! While I sip my coffee, she told me... You know what Claire? In this lifetime...there are two kinds of LOVE. Your Great Love & Your True Love She told me...You have to experience great love before you meet your true love, although rarely, one's great love is also her true love. But, in my case she told me...your great love is that someone from your past. I paused, thought, & replied "well, maybe?". Come to think of it...that...well...maybe she's right?! If the meaning of Great Love is waking up the whole stupidity asleep soundly inside you and with it's wakefulness you are able to do something you have not yet done or said to anyone & doin' it without thinking anything twice, like lying to your parents, telling your bestfriends that you're really fine, covering up all the pain inside with a fake smile or a laugh that I have grown to master, waiting for his call that never came, hoping he'd keep his promise that never happened, blaming myself for all failures, realizing that I'm not good enough, I'm not worth his love, I'm not worth of any love at all. Slowly, I was killing my own self-esteem. What comes with Great Love is undeniably...Great Jealousy. With jealousy around? insecurities, madness, anger, projection, introjection, doubts...all goes in with the package and most of the times? it all ends up to infedilities...well, at least that's how mine ended up. The question still remains... Was he my Great Love? The love I had for him was great, it pushed me to doin' things a normal being wouldn't even dare to do. The Love that almost killed me? The Love I thought was the real one, the only one that existed? The Love I thought was for me? My answer, too, remains the same... "Well, maybe."But I am quite sure of these... I don't blame him for not loving me the way I wanted him to love me, for he can't dictate his own heart. But, I do blame him for taking advantage of my vulnerability & unableness to dictate mine to stop too. Still, It was the Love that I never regretted having. For that same Love, have changed me & placed me to where I am satisfyingly situated right now. Am I now with my TRUE LOVE? If true love means you don't have to fight for it because how can something be called TRUE, RIGHTFUL and DESTINED for you be something to fight for with the rest of the world? Then, this is it. If true love makes you both realize that you have seen the signs right from the start but preferred to say "no, we can't be" and now in each other's arms admitted that "well, here we are...slashing out the "'t" making it "we can"? Then, this is it. If true love proves to you that when you say "i guess, we're never meant to be", everything around you starts to drag you to that 360 degree turn where the huge billboard says "You are for him, & He is for you" and next thing you know you're in an ELAL aircraft with your most unexpected companion flying to be near him, to be with him and you start to realize that "he is really for you"? Then, this is it. Lastly, If True Love means to have no enough words, phrases, sentences or paragraphs to explain what it really means? Then, This is really it. If what she said is true...that we have to experience a GREAT BROKEN LOVE with someone before we start living an eternity with our true love... I'd still wouldn't call my past, my great love. Because, Great Love isn't achieved by being with the wrong hands, and emptymindedly throwing your whole self to someone who's not ready to catch you is by far my biggest mistake. It means... As simple as this explains everything: Great Love is only achieved by Loving thy SELF. Thus, True Love follows.