My grandson's mother is a B1tch
May 20, 2007 1:12am CST
I am so angry I could just spit. We went to pick up my grandson today for our regular visitation. He got in the truck, as usual. His mother started harping at my son about the custody arrangements, as usual. My son told her he did not want to argue in front of their child, as usual. Then asked would she please call him on the phone, as usual. At that, she grabbed my grandson by the arm and jerked him out of his carseat, letting him land on his feet -- a drop of about 3 feet. Still digging her fingers into his arm, she drug him across the yard and into their trailer. We drove to the police station in this dumpy little town we refer to as the "Pit Stain of Nevada" population 76, only to find out their police force consists of two officers who don't work weekends. On their days off, the county sheriff covers for them. So we had to sit in 90 degree heat for an hour while the deputy drove the 60 miles from town. Of course, when faced with the law, she immediately released my grandson to my son. I am so sick of this woman. She took the baby from the hospital two days after he was born and left town. My poor son, who was there for the birth and stayed with her and the baby for two days, showed up at the hospital after his first day back at work to learn his child was gone. It took four years to locate them and another 8 months in court to get visitation. She had never told my grandson he had a father. What an adjustment for a 6 year old, to learn he not only has a father, a brother and a sister, but also a very large extended family (close to 200 people in 4 generations.) He hasn't said anything to us, but now that he understands that Mommom and Poppi are his grandparents not his parents, and that his mom is not Poppi's wife, I am sure he wonders why his mother lied to him all those years. The last 8 months we have been slowly acclimating him to our family, introducing a few people at a time, teaching him our traditions, getting to know him. He has adapted very well, really seems to enjoy being with us. Here he has his dad, his brother, me (the ever doting grandma who spoils him rotten) two aunts, and four cousins. We spend time with him, playing cards or board games, playing at the park, riding bikes, doing craft projects and cooking. At home, he plays by himself, supervised by a grandma who is so fat she can barely move and a grandpa who is over 80 and can barely move. Mom is rarely home, being kept busy with the boyfriend of the day. Seriously, I have never seen her with the same man twice. I'm ranting. Back on topic. Her actions today were solely based on her convenience. She wants us to be the ones to make the 120 mile round trip on Saturday to pick up my grandson and again on Sunday to bring him home, even though the judge has ordered her to do half the driving. If that's what it takes to see my grandson, I will do it. But what she doesn't consider, and probably wouldn't care about, is the effect on her child: 1. She never explained to my grandson why he was so violently drug out of the truck and into their home. 2. She didn't care that her little tirade cost my son and his son 2 of the only 28 hours they get together (including driving and sleeping time) 3 weekends a month. 3. She didn't care about the example she was setting. Imagine how he felt seeing his mother act this way towards his father. 4. She didn't care about the fear she instilled in the child -- would he ever get to see his father again? the father he had just come to know? If his mom could turn her back on the man she once claimed to love enough to want to marry, could she also abandon her son as easily? 5. She didn't care that she might have physically injured the child. The way she grabbed and pulled his arm, she could easily have dislocated his shoulder or broken the arm. She pulled him over the side of the carseat, the arm of the seat could have bruised his hip, side or kidney. She let him drop to the ground, potential to injure feet, ankles, knees, legs, hips and/or spine. She drug him across the yard and I could see he was having trouble keeping his balance, he could have fallen face first onto the ground injuring himself in many different ways. But she didn't care. She only cares that she gets her way or her pawn, excuse me I mean her child, does not get to go with his father. She also didn't care that she did all of this in front of her child's 5 year old half brother. Or that the 5 year old had to sit in the heat for an additional hour. There are no restaurants (except in the casino/bar) or fast food places where we could wait for the police. Nor does she care that the air conditioning in my truck is out. This means her own son is going to have to spend an hour and a half in 100+ degree heat while she drives her sporty little car with the boyfriend du jour perched in the passenger seat. Another thing that irks me is that we pick the child up at 12:00 and she never gives him lunch before we get there. I don't mind feeding the child, but it's at least an hour drive to the nearest restaurant and most times she hasn't fed him breakfast either. Today, because of her antics, it was almost 3:00 before the poor child got to eat. I know I'm rambling, but like I said I am so angry I could spit. Thanks for listening.
6 people like this
• United States
20 May 07
I know you are upset, but I caution against imagining what the child is feeling or what his mother has or hasnot told him. Apparently there are problems between your sone and his ex wife, but the number of men you see her with isn't one of them, I bet. For some reason the courts haven't removed the boy from the home with his mother so, unless you can sue for custody for reasons greater than her not living up to visitation without a fight, things might have to stay the same. I see something else that might be going on in her mind though. Has your son always had you with him when he has picked up his son for visitation? It might be that this woman is not one for extended family, and the involvment of others outside of jut herself and your son, even though her mother is present in her life. Where does your DIL live? Is she living with her mother? Is she able to make a home on her own? The presence of other men can mean that she is looking for a financial way out of her circumstances, one can only project what these things might mean. I am sorry that you are having to witness some of these struggles, but for your own peace of mind, It might be better if your son deals with this on his own. For some reason, it seems there is more going on here than meets the eye.
• United States
22 May 07
So true, Kelly. We've had the talk and there will be NO MORE GRANDCHILDREN. I was ranting at the time I wrote this, so maybe my point did not come across like I would have wanted it to. It is simply this, I am just so angry that this woman would put her need for revenge above the best interests of her own child. I'm not saying my son is blameless, he acted irresponsibly when he was younger, but he is trying to do the right thing now. He does without so he can keep up on his child support payments, he spends every minute he can with his kids, he takes the older one to the doctor on weekends because Mom won't. If she truly loves her child, why won't she put him first?
• United States
21 May 07
You have every right to be angry and upset over this situation. What she did was deplorable and should not be allowed to happen. I saw in your comments that the courts are looking into finding out how your grandson feels. That's a good beginning. Hopefully the courts will change the custody situation. It sounds like that is what needs to happen. She's being spiteful and there is no reason for that. Some sadly view children as a leverage point and not a child. They use them for their own ends instead of treating them with the care and love they deserve.