Do you look at both sides of a story?

@mssnow (9493)
United States
May 21, 2007 10:12am CST
Do you see two sides or just one side? When you hear something bad about someone. Or even if the person who told you something has some kind of what they call proof. Do you take what they say about that person and run with it. Thinking that person MUST be a horrible person. Or do you take it as just part of the story. Do you try to find out both sides of the story before making judgments. I am usually a good judge of character. So i try to see two sides of a story before i judge someone. I look at all things. I look at both people. I look at what has been said and done then I decide what is right. I hope most of you here can do the same thing. because there will be times in your life when you will need one. And who knows you could gain or lose a friend by doing so.
21 people like this
58 responses
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
21 May 07
I don't listen to idle gossip and I do not hang out with people that do. Too many rumours have destroyed people's reputation and will not be a part of that.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
rose sometimes it has nothing at all to do with gossip only two sides to a story
1 person likes this
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
22 May 07
unless you are talking facts like in science, mostly everything is gossip, or small talk, or talking things out of one person's house and talking about it to other people, the stuff you hear about hollywood stars, this couple just broke up etc, could be true but still gossip. I know what you are saying but if you treat it as gossip you don't get caught up in it, and yes I would never believe anything until I heard both sides of the story providing I wanted to hear it in the first place. here are just some dictionary definitions of gossip 1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature. 2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts. 3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing. 4. A close friend or companion. 5. Chiefly British A godparent.
@Stiletto (4582)
22 May 07
I try to look at both sides of a story and I also try not to just take things at face value. Things are very rarely "cut and dried". It's very easy to be judgmental of others (and we're all guilty of doing it from time to time) but the fact is that good people can make mistakes/errors of judgement just like everyone else. It doesn't necessarily mean they're a bad person after all. Also if I'm told something bad about someone the first thing I ask myself is "what's the storytellers reason for telling me this - what's in it for them?" I've found that answering that question usually helps to clarify things a bit.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
That is great that you do try to hear both sides of a story. thanks for the comment
@KissThis (3004)
• United States
21 May 07
When my friends disagree I try to remain neutral. Its not for me to pick sides because I don't believe that you hear about everything that is involved. Where my children are concerned I always ask the ones involved to give me their side of the story. I then piece together what really happened. By knowing my children very well I am able to tell when one is leaving something out.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
LOL good for you. thanks for the comment
1 person likes this
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
21 May 07
When someone comes to me about a problem I always listen. i do try to get both sides of the story before I make a decision. I feel that this is the best way to handle any situation. Everyone sees things in a different way so you must look at everything before you decide who is wrong or right. And sometimes you aren't always able to see everything till it is too late. I have made mistakes before when judging someone but I try hard not to.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
That is a good thing to do I hope you always continue
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
21 May 07
I am like you I try to look both sides but I don't like to judge anyone and try to stay friend with both of them sometimes I look into it deeper and find more than they aren't telling but I still don't get into it so I stay out of it. I have learned my lesson years ago and I try to stay away and hope they are still friends.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
It is very hard when you have two friends and being in the middle. I hate that. i just tell them that i intend to stay friend s with both and i dont want to hear anything bad about the other one.
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
21 May 07
You sound like me! are we twins LOL seriously I feel the same way. Well I am going to fix some pork chops and country fried potatoes for lunch wants some? Take care,
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
Yes ill get on the next plane lol thanks april :) I think most of my friends are like me thats why they are my friends lol we are the nice bunch :)
@mamasan34 (6520)
• United States
21 May 07
I really try hard to get both sides of the story. I have been a victim of gossip and the person who was offended did not take the time to hear my side of the story, if she would have, she would most certainly have formulated a different opinion than she did by just listening to gossip. So this lesson taught me to listen to both sides and hear both parties out before I make a judgment or decision on how to proceed in situations like that. It is very easy to lose a friend by not listening.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
Its a hard lesson to learn but yeah some people are so judgmental they only want to hear the bad in people. Thanks for your comment
@mamasan34 (6520)
• United States
21 May 07
Your very welcome and that is true. For some reason we always tend to believe the bad and not the good. I try to find good in everyone.
@mamasan34 (6520)
• United States
29 Jun 07
thanks for the best response rating! I really appreciate it. I am still having troubles with the both sides of the story debate in my life these days in different situations and I try to remain fair but firm with everything!
@draco666 (174)
• United States
21 May 07
Normally I try to get all 3 sides to a story. I found that that getting the 2 sides helps alot but in most events a unbiased 3 party will show the glue that made everything go wrong. Also I don't gave moral advice I basicly shown then options and the problem from all sides. After that I wait for them to make the best choice as they see fit.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5954)
• Etowah, Tennessee
21 May 07
There is usually a third side and of all the sides, then there is the truth.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
great way to look at things its always good to step back and look too
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
21 May 07
I always look at both Sides and that is why I am careful with what happens It was proven only yesterday that there is 2 sides to every Story I have come across it many times in my Life that there is always 2 Sides and I try to make sure that I know both Sides before I do anything
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
thats good to know gabs. can i keep ya around in case I ever ned ya lol
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
22 May 07
Yes of course you can lol
• United States
21 May 07
I usually do try to look at both sides. If this pertains to the present MyLot situation, one person I know is normally kind & helpful. I have no idea who was on the other side of the arguing & the bickering, or what caused it. At this point, I'm just keeping cool. The last time I got both sides of the story was when this girl introduced me to her best friend back in November of 2005. The 3 of us used to talk constantly on instant messenger, & at times, even created rooms just to talk in. The best friend & I did end up finally get closer, she dumped her boyfriend, & then were back together. In the meantime, the friend that introduced us got a phonecall from that boyfriend, & gave her the impression that they were 'hooking up.' The best friend went ballistic on the friend that introduced us, the friend that introduced us bit back, & what a big mess that turned into. Then I found out the boyfriend's best friend, who was jealous, suggested that he call my friend. After making sure that both sides understood that they were both letting that jealous guy win, the feuding went on even harsher. It seemed that the jealous guy won, & I ended up out a friend, & a long-distance girlfriend. It also made Christmas 2006 the worst Christmas I ever had.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 07
Oopsie - I submitted too soon ... They both got away from me, still hating each other. They also took my two best brooms to get away as fast as they could. UGH! I REALLY miss those brooms.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
aw well i say its their loss. they should have looked at both sides . Too bad you lost your brooms though lol
• Canada
21 May 07
Hi Snow, hope all is well. I definitely look at both sides of the story before I make any kind of judgement! I feel it is unfair to just look at the one side, or take sides because you have been friends with or known 1 of those people longer then the other. I too look at the people and what has been said, try to help figure it all out, and go from there.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
And that is why you and i are friends :) Like i said before i am a good judge of character.
@mamasan34 (6520)
• United States
21 May 07
Taking sides is dangerous, it alienates the other party and what if you decided wrong? I too don't take sides. I like to be neutral and stay out of troublesome sitautions like that.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
22 May 07
I'll always be on the lookout for pros and cons of things . It is unwise if you arrive at a decision on important issues without weighing up the same in a proper manner.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 May 07
absolutely. balance the details first before judging because there is nothing as deceptive as an obvious fact. :)
@tammyr (5954)
• Etowah, Tennessee
21 May 07
I try to look at every side. Most of the time we can only see what we are allowed to see and that is all we have to go on, and some get the wrong impression. There truly are 3 sides to every tale. This that and the truth. Most disagreements are just misunderstandings or words taken out of context. I try to get both sides to see the truth a lot of times and they are either going to listen or not, but that all depends on how open minded they are as to whether or not they can listen.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
yep this is true thanks for the comments
@TerryZ (22082)
• United States
21 May 07
I will listen to both sides of the story then I will make a decision on how I feel about the situation. Sometimes I feel that both parties were wrong. Thats only on occasion.LOL I wont just listen to that one person who tells me something bad about a person thats just not in me!
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
22 May 07
Good to hear terry. Lots of good people on mylot
• India
21 May 07
I look at both sides of a story. When there is a problem, we have to hear the opinion of the people of both sides, then only we have to come to a conclusion. When we hear the thoughts of someone and take decision based on that, then we are doing a big mistake. They might have understood the situation wrongly and tell the situation from their understanding rather than the real one. Such a kind of action may affect a good person, so it is better to look at the both sides of a story
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
yes it is best to see both sides of a story
@eyewitness (1577)
• Netherlands
21 May 07
I always want to know both sides of the stories because i know when in my youth my dad always believed the neighbours lies about us,but didn't give us the chance to prove our innocence.That's why i always want to know both sides.Some people i do belive what they say because i know they don't lie.
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
its still good to hear both side sof the story though
• Italy
21 May 07
I try to look both. We must know every point of view to be able to judge someone or something.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
very true and thats a good thing to know
@mummymo (23707)
21 May 07
Sometimes I get too emotionally involve and jump in too quickly , before I step back and take a good look at the whole picture - which is what I always try to do - even if sometimes I do get get a little impetuos - espescially if my friends are involved and upset!
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
Lol yes me too :) I have to step back and look at the whole story
• United States
21 May 07
I tend to look at both sides of the story because there is always two sides. Also, you should be careful around anyone that talks about other people too much or gossips too much, because they could turn around and talk about you.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
exactly I try not to gossip about others. even if i don't like a person i wont say much about them unless i say it to them.
@smuggeridge (2155)
21 May 07
I always try to get both sides of an argument but its not always easy especially on this site where discussions get deleted almost as soon as they are made. The problem is we all sometimes refuse to look at one side of an argument especially if it is something we feel strongly about.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
true true but i do look at both sides. i also look at the people involved. I then judge based on what i know. Thanks for stopping by and posting. we need more people like you on mylot :)
• India
21 May 07
I usually look at both sides... Sometimes when events take place quickly i fail to read the other side.. It mostly happens more often during my study. I read about stuff and sometimes develop a wrong opinion regarding it becoz i never really looked at the other side.. I agree for sure that one needs experience to make the right judgement
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
21 May 07
wel it is important to see both sides :)