Left Out

Canada
May 23, 2007 12:09am CST
Went to my mom's today to lend her $50 because my other siblings bled her dry and when I was there she was showing my pictures of my sisters wedding (which never even got an invite) and she pulls out this pic of my 3 sisters and my brother and my sister's husbands family and says "oh here's one of all my children and some of joe's siblings". It hurt because it wasn't all her children... I wasn't in the picture! Am I over reacting? was I right to feel hurt? I never told her it hurt because it would have started an arguement
2 people like this
8 responses
@mizrak07 (557)
• Philippines
23 May 07
Why would voicing how you feel start an argument? Aren't mothers supposed to listen to what their children has to say specially if they're hurt? The way I read it you seem not to have a good relationship with your family, imagine not being invited to your own sister's wedding. You have a right to feel very hurt.
3 people like this
• Canada
23 May 07
I feel like she was saying these are my children and your not... she's stubborn and arguementive and I love her soo much because she adopted me when no one wanted me...
2 people like this
@mizrak07 (557)
• Philippines
23 May 07
Oh you're an adopted child. Is that why they treat you differently? That's sad.
3 people like this
• Canada
23 May 07
I know but they insist they don't... My sister doesn't even want me over for christmas because some of my views differ from hers
2 people like this
• New Zealand
23 May 07
I think you voice your opinion alot and I also think you play the adopted card alot? youre saying/ doing that because im adopted etc? I feel you are the one with the hang up about being adopted and your siblings are tired of it and dont want to include you in family things because of it. As for the photo thing you werent at the wedding she was showing someone photos of the wedding and who was there what was she suppose to say these are my children minus my daughter who wasnt there you are overreacting and you have been doing this for a long long time. Sorry just my opinion.
3 people like this
• Canada
23 May 07
You know nothing about me! I never play the adopted card... I'm not the one who says when I came to live with them... I wans't at the wedding 1 because I wasn't really invited and 2 because the gave me no notice! she was showing ME the picture not someone else... so she could have said their names... Don't ever think you know me well enough to know what "card" I play... this is the first time on this site I have even mentioned being adopted... alot of my friends who have know me for 5 - 10 years dont even know it... I have no hang ups about it seeing as it was my choice who took me
2 people like this
@mystery5 (351)
• India
23 May 07
I can understand how you feel. You could have probably just looked very hurt and pointed out that you weren't there. But yes, I do think that it is somewhat of an over-reaction. Try to look at it from her point of view. She must have just seen a picture with so many kids and immediately assumed that it is a pic of all the children, without really looking for each face. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your not being in it - probably even if someone else was missing instead of you, she might have said the same thing. Relax, I'm sure she loves you and didn't mean it that way!
• Canada
23 May 07
Except she knew I wasn't there because it was taken two weeks ago... and she knew I wasn't in Ontario with her... That was why she was showing the pictures to me
2 people like this
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
24 May 07
You sure had plenty of reason to feel hurt. I doubt she meant it, she was just telling you who was there, and it was a slip when she said all her kids. I mean you were the one lending her the money so she knows you're the one who cares about her. You aren't over reacting at all, I would have been very hurt in the same situation.
2 people like this
• Canada
24 May 07
Thank You and the funny thing is that yes I'm the one lending her money and I'm the poorest one in the family (they bled her dry in Ontario)
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 07
SHe probably did not notice that you were missing from the picture. You do have a right to feel hurt, but at the same time, it may have also been an oversight. Did you at least mention that there was indeed one missing? Hopefully, she apologized.
2 people like this
• Canada
24 May 07
no I did not mention it because she did indeed know I wasn't in the picture... it was taken 1.5 wks ago in Ontario thats why she was showing it to me... thanks for the reply
1 person likes this
@Suze05 (480)
• United States
24 May 07
I think you have every right to be hurt..adopted or not, they are your family, and the fact you werent invited was bad enough, even though your sister may have had reasons not to invite you..but still, they did adopt you, and you are her child. I'm sure she didn't mean to be thoughtless, so I wouldn't take it too hard, but I can understand how you feel. I would feel the same way.
2 people like this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
23 May 07
That is sad and I would have been hurt too!! I probably wouldn't have said anything either, I am just that way, I keep things to myself. But you are good enough to take money from why aren't you good enough to be her kid?? It was really rude and insensitive of her to say that! You have every right to be hurt and upset, and your mom should consider you one of her own, just because you didn't come brom her belly doesn't mean anything!
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 May 07
most of the times she does think of me as hers just sometimes she doesn't think before she speaks... I have considered her my family since the moment I met her and have condered her kids (my brother and sisters) as mine but they still have trouble accepting me... one of them even asked why I wanted to visit my grandfathers grave seeing as I never met him...
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
24 May 07
My parents have adopted three little kids (all the same ages as my kids) and I really consider them my brother and sisters. They got them when they were first born, my parents love them like their own so I do too!! Just because they arent related biologically doesn't mean anything!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 May 07
My point exactly but sometimes they still make me feel like an outsider... but i still love them
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
24 May 07
I don't know your mom, so I can't say for certain, but maybe she wasn't trying to be mean. Maybe she was being thoughtless and not even realizing what she was saying. I wouldn't say it was wrong to feel hurt. I've been told that I shouldn't feel certain ways about certain things and my argument is always "feelings aren't wrong, they just are". But, again, sometimes people just say thoughtless things. I get a lot of that in my family. I try not to let it get to me. Most of the time I'm succesful but sometimes I'm not.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 May 07
yeah I know
1 person likes this