'The Other Woman' This is what I find so interesting about Love and Life
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
May 26, 2007 1:49am CST
A lady should never be the 'other woman' if she can avoid it. As a third part of a triangle, her position is unfair and unpleasant. Her family is disgusted with her. Her friends are unhappy and disapproving. Her life is a series of brief encounters with someone else's husband. She is often very lonely. Sometimes she is a better woman than the wife in possession, but she is always regarded as a thief, a fox among the chickens. She lives in constant state of expectation and drepression. 'I love you, I hate my wife, I'll get a divorce' is a chain that binds her. She usually accepts the situation at the beginning, but as the years go by without a change in the status quo she often becomes as nagging and destructive as the wife he wanted to leave at the beginning of the liaison.
In our present society the 'other woman' is a fool. And yet why should a few mumbled words in the ceremony of marriage give the wife a stronghold for life on the man who loved her enough to undertake the burden of supporting her, which he is expected to continue after there is a mutual loathing?
I think the marriage contract should be reviewed every two years, and if it is in the red, there should be divorce, leaving the woman free to marry a more suitable mate and the man able to legitimize his union with the 'other woman'.
Would you continue to be the'other woman' despite your lover not divorcing his wife and be satisfied being the second fiddle? What is your views on review of marriage contract every 2 years?
3 people like this
6 responses
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
27 May 07
no woman must feel good enough to become jsut the other woman. i will never fall for this trap. there is nothing wrong about becoming single for the rest of my life anyway. i got married a long time ago. my husband and i wll never see eye to eye till this day. it is okay for me that we get a legal separation and an annulment of our marriage. he is not sold to the idea yet he is a womanizing man. it may be hard to understand moreso, if you will note that we have been living apart for more than 2 decades now. neither do i understand his stand on this, too.
as for your proposal that the marriage shall be reviewed every two years, i do not agree with that. if hte couple is not sure about their feelings for each other, then they should not at all consider getting tied in marriage. that will be unfair especially for the kids. instead of getting married and go through the possibility of getting divorced after two years, the two would better be 'living in' for two years to discover about their compatibility in married life. the pain will not be so much if they will decide to part ways after two years. they will have to take care that no children will come forth during the period of observation.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
27 May 07
Some women would not care less for her status in a relationship as long as there is a security blanket over her. It is a trophy relationship and is too good to let go. Likewise a wormanizer find a second best if not the best in her to be a companion in bed forgetting about the sin he is commiting to God and his dear family.
The church ofcourse will frown at the idea of a review of the marriage contract to accomadate a sinful act not to mention a disgrace to the sacred marriage institution. Its like rubbing salt to a wound if the so called review be done with.
It is not too much for me to say that behind most marriage failures are women themselves. So let all women out there who have gone through the pain of a marriage breakdown fight this cancerious like disease of marriage wrecker -'the other women'
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
27 May 07
Well, I feel like this, I am the Queen and shouldn't settle for less, and every woman should have the same darn attitude. If you get with a man who cannot give you but pieces of his time because he's the bomb and all that, then you don't need the man. Period. If you want something like that for whatever reason, then that is on you.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 May 07
I can see your point here. I wouldn't really want to renew a marriage contract every 2 years. It's a nuisance, & would perhaps much too much focus on "proving" oneself. However, there is no doubt, that the other women is in a difficult situation. Where the love is genuine, & the other marriage false, the husband needs to make a move. Otherwise, he is false to himself, his legimate wife & his other women.
To be honest, a women shouldn't allow herself to be put in this situation in the first place. She is always the looser.
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
26 May 07
Wow zandi i never thought of this. this is interesting.
I am sure i will continue thinking about this idea of yours long after I'll finish my response to it.
Well you did state all of the negative sides of being the third wheel. and i am not talking here about the wheel of fortune. LOl.
I will never be the other women, in any situation.
I do admit that there was an incident in my life, that i almost stumbled and became one, but luckily i stopped myself in time.
I think that your idea will have many critical negative responses here. Mostly from the married women. And i do understand why they would react that way.
I know your idea would put alote of people in pressure, mostly women. Who really wants yo be in pressure?
Why do we marry? To have a bit of peace and to live in a secure position, don't we?
But i really think it is a brilliant idea.
:)
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
26 May 07
hi zandi, there should not be the other woman if a woman has her self-respect and respect other woman's marriage. It is not always the other woman fault, the man is much to blame. If a man has his sense of responsibility and treated his wife, the mother of his children with love, respect in the marriage law and have a good religious background, I strongly believe that the other woman will never exist. Therefore The need to review the marriage every 2 years is no longer needed.
@samson1967 (7411)
• India
26 May 07
Right Ellie..One woman, one Love, and one heart. The first Love cannot be earased so easily, A man can have 100 woman, but he cannot forget his first woman.
2 people like this
@aqua_chef27 (47)
• Philippines
27 May 07
i really agree " what God has binded together let no man put us under " the one who intrudes a marriage will never be satisfied and happy the rest of his/her life..it is a curse, at first you will not notice what distruction you have created but even, the very thing is a sin why commit it, we are provided with conscience and conviction to think before we act...not only the family you at first distroyed but your very own, it will run to you family too..karma gets the said culprit...anything we do good or bad, we will reap what we sow.
1 person likes this
