Shouldn't boys go with their dad's to the men's rooms?

@ethanmama (1746)
Philippines
May 26, 2007 4:36am CST
I've seen little boys in ladies' rest rooms. I think this is ok for boys less than 4 years old if Mommy is with them and Daddy is not. However, there are times that I see the whole family together and when it's time for the boy to go, the Mommy brings him to the ladies' room and Daddy just waits outside. Shouldn't the father just bring the son to the men's room himself? Also, even without the mother, older boys should be taught to go to the men's room, right? I've seen a 9 year old boy inside the ladies' room, with an older female (probably his mom) and I thought, for goodness sake...can't he go to the men's room by himself? Any thoughts?
9 people like this
27 responses
• Singapore
26 May 07
Probably because the Dad is too lazy. There will come a point in time when the child gets too big. Then either he or the mother will realize that perhaps it is a better idea for him to go to the gents. Even if alone, without his Dad.
4 people like this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
26 May 07
My thoughts exactly, Wizzy. :)
1 person likes this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
26 May 07
Hello,ehanmama,I can understand if the mum brings her 9 years old boy to the female restroom since it may still be quite dangerous to let the kids to go to the male restroom sometimes,but if you said the whole family is there ,i do not understand why the dad does not take his role as a father to take his boy to the male restroom. Anyway,it may be quite embarassing to see a 9 years old in the female restroom,sometimes,the kids may just look younger than their real ages,may be they are more than ten years old indeed.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
26 May 07
Yes, I felt embarrassed when I saw the boy. Other boys I knew were embarrassed if they mistakenly entered a ladies room, but I did not see a trace of embarrassment on him. Maybe he always went to the ladies room when he was growing up.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
26 May 07
I walked into the ladies bathroom at a Wal=Mart a few years ago and a MAN, not a boy but a man came out of one of the stalls as I was walkng in. He looked at he weird and then walked out, I think he was in the wrong bathroom!! Because no one else was in there. It didn't freak me out or anything, just kind funny!
1 person likes this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
26 May 07
If he did not give you an obscene smile,probably he would be embarrassed entering the wrong bathroom,if he looked at you filtily,you should have report to the police.
1 person likes this
@hobohobo (681)
• Indonesia
26 May 07
Yes I agree with you i think 9 year is enough to the boy to do by himself. And it can educate the boy that he is grown up and lot of things that he can do it alone like the thing we discuss here, and also it will make some people feel bad if other people with opossite gender in one ladies or men's room
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
26 May 07
I actually felt uncomfortable when I saw the 9 year old boy in the ladies' room. He's almost a "tween" and not a baby anymore. I'm surprised he doesn't look embarassed. My brothers would have been embarassed if they mistakenly entered a girl's restroom in school at about that age.
• United States
26 May 07
I agree with this if the dad is there he should take them. Up until the age of maybe 6 to go into the ladies room if the dad is not there, I think by the age of 6 little boys should be able to go into the mens room by themselves while the mom waits next to the door. On the other hand I can also see if the mom is alone and she has to use the restroom perhaps it is a bad area and doesnt want to leave her son outside alone in that case I would have him standing just inside the door to wait. With so many kidnappers and all you cant be too safe.
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
26 May 07
That's a thought. Safety is important too.
• United States
26 May 07
couldnt agree with you more. if the father (or even a big brother) is present, then they should be taking the boy to the mens room! and any father that DOESNT or isnt willing to (from the family story you mentioned) is just plain LAZY! dont most men not want their sons to be "mommas boys"?? and by having the mother take the boy with her to the ladies room, when the father is there and perfectly able is ridiculous. and yes, a 9 yr old boy should be able to use the mens room all by himself for a couple years already!
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
26 May 07
I thought so too. For me, I would like my son to know that boys go to men's room and girls go to the ladies' room as early as possible. It's quite embarassing if they *don't know* that.
1 person likes this
@nicolecab (923)
• United States
26 May 07
I have a little boy and I belive that when he is old enough to use the restroom I will send him with his dad. The problem we have here is if you do not travel with the father then you do not want a young child going to the bathroom by himself so he would prob end up in the womens restroom.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
26 May 07
you have a point, too nicole. however just like in the example about, a 9 year old boy seems to be odd to be found inside a women's restroom especially when there are teenage girls in there, too.
2 people like this
• United States
26 May 07
No I do agree that a nine year old should be able to go to the bathroom by himself. I am talking more along the lines of a four and five year old going to the mens room alone. I think that after five they should be able to use the restroom by themselves if you are standing outside the door. I would never bring my son into the womens bathroom at that age by then they understand that men and women have diffent body parts. A young child (toddler) does not.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
That's what we do, too. Little boy goes with dad, unless dad is not around. But a nine year old is not that little already....
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
26 May 07
I have two girls of my own and I never allowed them to go to the gent's room. My youngest once saw her Uncle peeing using my bathroom without closing the door. She asked me why her Uncle was standing up and not sitting down, LOL. I was at a loss for good words to explain to her. It is also because my kids are girls that I don't allow anywhere except the ladies room. In the case of the family you described, the father should brought his boy instead of the mother. Maybe the mother felt that it was safer for her boy to stay with her.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Hi, Charms! I was also thinking that the mother was thinking that he was safer with her in the ladies room. Still, I would have done things differently and asked my husband to bring my son to the mens' room, especially when he's old enough to know the difference between boys and girls :). But that's me. Not everybody agrees with me and I respect their opinion. If you had sons, what would you have done?
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Its like this, ethanmama. We both know what a gentlemen's room look like. I don't think I need to elaborate more on that. The ladies room offered a private cubicle and to be honest, if I have a son, I would bring him with me if there's no other man to accompany him. But I have 2 girls and it would be different for them to go in the other room.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thank you for your response, Charms :D.
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
26 May 07
If the father is there then yes they should take them, but if he is not then that is totally understandable to bring them into the ladies. There are too many weirdos out there these days and I have heard of so many stories of little boys being raped in the public toilets with the mother waiting outside. For goodness sake. I would never let my boy go into the mens toilet by himself, and if he is too old to go into the ladies, then he will just have to hold on. I think that these ladies have every right to bring their kids into the toilet with them. They could be saving from a catastrophe happening.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Yes, that's a good reason. But until what age is it considered safe for him to go alone? Mom has to let go sometime.
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
28 May 07
To be honest, I really dont know at what age. But if I was in a public toilet and a lady brought in their son I wouldnt mind, its not like you sit there with the door open, in public toilets people try to get in and out as quickly as possible.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thanks for your comments :).
• United States
27 May 07
Boys should definitely go eith their fathers to the men's room. i don't know about the other women here, but it REALLY bothers me when i see a boy in the ladies' room. They don't belong there. They just don't. i understnad bringin a boy under the age of about 6 in there as long as there is not a trusted male figure to take him to the mn's room. Howver, once they reach age 6, they can go to the men's room themself if there is nobody else there. Mommy can wait outside the men's room for her son.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Those were my thoughts and what I would do.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
27 May 07
I think if the father is there then he should take his son. If he isn't and the mother/caretaker doesn't feel comfortable in letting their child use the bathroom on their own, even if they were older than 4, then I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe the 9 year old had some issues and his mother needs to be there to help him or something like that. Most of the time when I am with my son alone (he is only four, even though he looks like a 6 year old because of his height), I still take him to the ladies bathroom instead of letting him use the mens room. I just don't feel its safe enough for him to go on his own, even though I have let him once when we were in MacDonalds. The reason being there was only one other person there, so I let him use the mens while I waited outside. When my husband is with us, he always takes my son unless he happens to be in a different shop than us, then I rush off and take him using the ladies room.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
27 May 07
Hi! on his age maybe his mother try to train him to go to the men's room, a 9yr old boy must learn to be independent especially when it comes to that issue, my son is 5yrs old now, and my husband used to go with him on the men's room beside ladies room is always crowded than men's room. Maybe the mother of this 9yr old boy afraid to lost his son isnt it?
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
That's entirely possible.
@hdcc829 (15)
• United States
27 May 07
I totally agree with you. I have a 5 year old son and if it is just me and him, I take him to the womens restroom. I do not think that he is quite old enough to go to the mens room by himself (way to many weirdos in this world). No if there is a guy with me I have them go with him. He can do it all by himself it is just a matter of making sure that nothing happens to him when he is in there. Now as he gets a little older I will feel more comfortable with him going by himself.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thank you for your comments. Yes, it's pretty much a matter of making sure that he's safe.
@Sir_bobby88 (8243)
• Singapore
27 May 07
Sometime it is because children are not well taught to go toliet as parents are busy working for money . So actually children are victim prehaps you should not mind that much about a young boy being in a girls toilet yea
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Young boys, no, I don't mind. But boys who are almost men already, well, that's quite another story. I'm actually pretty divided on this issue, but I'm not comfortable with it, to be honest.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
27 May 07
If the dad is in the picture, then I would expect the dad to take his son to the bathroom. On the other hand, if their isn't a dad in the picture, then the mom has no choice. This is really a hard situation if you ask me. I personally think they should make a child's restroom for kids in every public place. So we can have a mens restroom, boys restroom, womens restroom and then a girls restroom. But I guess that is to much to ask. Sometimes accidents happen and a lot of people are afraid to send their boys alone in restrooms, that is if the dad isn't around. If the dad is there, then he should take his son. I just think we need restrooms for kids, or like those family restrooms that they have in some places, they should make more.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Kid's restrooms! That's a splendid idea! But, you're right, that's probably too much to ask already.
@KatieS (504)
• United States
27 May 07
Men don't care a lot about stuff like that I don't think. Mom (from my experience) usually cares that they clean themselves right, wash their hands, etc. But I know a lot of men who won't even change diapers. 9 yrs old is too old for supervision, but then I think a lot of women worry about their kids being abducted from unsupervised restrooms. I've heard many cases of child abduction, girls and boys, from public restrooms. Wasn't big when my kid was little, but is now and probably always be, sadly to say.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Well, that's a thought. I'm glad my husband doesn't mind changing diapers. I actually asked him the same question and he said that he'll bring our son to the mens' room...it's his responsibility. I'm lucky, I suppose. But, yes, people are getting more scared nowadays about danger that might happen. But does the danger stop when the boy is in his teens already? It's always there. But I suppose moms (and dads) feel safer when the kid is in the line of sight always.
• United States
26 May 07
Definitely if the Dads are available they should definitely do the job. Although maybe it is the mom in those cirmcumstances that decides that she wants to take her little boy into the ladies bathroom. I think a nine year old is a bit too old for being in the private ladies room, even with his mom. But, maybe that's how they do things.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thank you for your insight.
• United States
26 May 07
I see it alot of it too.Maybe mom want to keep an eye out on him.There's too many predators lurking around these days.I don't even like my daughter going by herself at the mall sometimes after I saw dateline.it's scary.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
True, danger lurks everywhere and parents cannot help feeling that their children not safe anywhere anymore.
@lisado (1230)
• United States
26 May 07
If my husband wasn't with me there is no way I'd let my son go to the bathroom alone. There are a lot of weirdos out there and you have no way of knowing what is going on in there. Even 9 years old isn't old enough in a public restroom, in my opinion, because a man could do anything to him in that bathroom and I wouldn't have any way of knowing until it was to late. As for why dad doesn't do it, maybe he isn't comfortable with it. Or maybe there is another reason. My oldest is 8 1/2 years old and I take him into the restroom with me. He is non-verbal Autistic, but you can't tell just by looking at him. He usually goes into the restroom with me so I can take him into the handicap restroom (because it is larger) and change his diaper. He is to big for the diaper changing station and the women's restroom is usually cleaner than the men's. My husband will take our oldest into the restroom with him, but it's usually easier for me to do it. I get weird looks when he goes into the restroom with me sometimes, as well, since you can't tell by looking at him that he is special needs and that he is still in diapers. If he starts "singing" or something else, sometimes people are clued in that something is different, but no one has said anything to me or asked why he was with me. I've never overheard anyone say anything, either. I have no problem telling people why he is in the bathroom with me, but no one has ever asked.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Oh, Lisado, I can certainly understand why you'd have to bring your son to the ladies' room. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your insights.
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
26 May 07
I am a single mum and my boy is only 4 and a half. I take him to the ladies room. I can understand and see both sides of this coin. Some women think it is bizarre because a 9 year old is old enough to know the difference between boys and girls and maybe even begun to get curious. On the flip side, these days you have to be careful with your children because if you let them go to the bathroom by themselves some pervert could moleste them. I think when my boy gets a little older I will allow him to use the mens room, he understands the difference between the boys and girls room at school and often questions me and says "no mommy Mrs. Pierman (his teacher) says boys use the boys room. I can't go in here". When he is a bit older and I know that he won't dawdle in the bathroom I will let him go by himself to the mens facility.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thank you for your insight. I realize that it's not easy raising a kid alone. Yes, I can understand both sides. I do appreciate, though, that you already know that there will come a point that you will have to let go a bit, even if it's just going to the toilet. :)
• India
26 May 07
Ya its really embarrassing sometimes.... To small boys its ok for below 3 years but older than that.... I have also sometimes seen little girls coming in with their dads to the mens room even when they could have easily gone with their mums to the ladies room and also those girls were really not small, I really think they wer above 5 years and its really really embarrassing. Parents should understand the feeling sof people around.... Any ways Take Care May GOD Bless YOU
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thank you for your insights.