Should children be shielded from the family's financial difficulties?
By ethanmama
@ethanmama (1745)
Philippines
May 28, 2007 1:06am CST
If the parents are currently undergoing financial difficulties, should the school aged children know about it? Or should you just keep such things from them and go on with the present lifestyle?
As a child of entrepreneur parents, I knew about the times when my parents' business had periods of low cash flow because my parents tell me. Even though they did not really impose too many drastic changes to our lifestyle, as a child I understood that to help out, I had to stop asking for too many unnecesary things. I am therefore in favor of letting children know if they are already old enough to understand.
I know people, however, who think that their children might feel inferior if they knew about their current low financial situation and therefore did not tell their school aged children about their problems.
I would like to know your stand and your thoughts on the matter.
4 people like this
8 responses
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
29 May 07
I would prefer to tell them. Children often want things and I think it is better for them to know the situation rather than just assuming their parents are "mean".
I think it also gives them a better picture of how the world works and the importance of money management.
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Yes, that's what I thought to. Children may just think that their parents just don't want them to enjoy certain things if they didn't know that money is tight.
1 person likes this
@kitkat1 (1227)
• Canada
28 May 07
I believe children should be aware of the finances especially when there is trouble in that area. How else are they suppose to know why we cant do certain things and why you are cutting back on others. They can understand if they dont know. Especially kids they want this and want that and have to realize where the money comes from and what if has to be used for right. How are they suppose to know why you cant have takeout twice a week or why they cant have that new ball glove unless you tell them why.
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Thank you for your comment. You are right, kids should understand why we cannot do and buy things. :)
1 person likes this
@ctv101103 (859)
• Philippines
28 May 07
i grew up knowing the financial status of our family. my parents always discussed such matters with us. and being the eldest, i was usually the first to know. like you, they didn't impose drastic changes to our lifestyle but i knew i had to help out.
no, i didn't feel inferior about our financial situation. on the contrary, it helped become a more responsible individual. it made me appreciate every (even the littlest) thing that my parents gave/did for us since i knew those were fruits of their hard work and sacrifices.
now that i have a family of my own, i would like to do the same thing with my children.
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Thank you. You and I think alike. Maybe because we're both the eldest in our families. And yes, I do appreciate my parents even more because I knew how much effort they put into everything they gave us.
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
28 May 07
I am always open and honest with my girls about my financial situation. For instance, they will ask me when can we travel to Hongkong Disneyland, I will be straight with them and tell them that we're on budget. They understood it right away. I always treat my girls as my best friends. I want them to grow up and entrust me with all their secrets too. I believe in letting our little ones involve in some adult matters. This of course depends on their age and level of maturity.
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
29 May 07
That's great, bunny! I would want my son to understand that daddy and mommy can't always afford everything. Real life is filled with ups and downs, financially or otherwise, and kids need to learn this.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 May 07
I think school aged children should be told by their parents if they are going through financial difficulties just so that they are made aware of the situation, then they can begin to understand that at times like these, they may not be able to get what they want. My parents never really told us when they did go through these difficulties - we mostly heard about it when they argued about not having enough money for this and that. Having 5 children under the age of 5 put a lot of strain on my parents, and as my brothers got older, they helped out by taking up after school jobs like milk run and paper runs. It helped a lot because some of there wages/earnings came to us younger ones to use for our lunches and other things like that.
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
28 May 07
Every family goes through some rough patch and children who learn that life is not always a patch of roses can better adjust to difficulties later on. Thank you for your insights.
1 person likes this
@tredale (1309)
• Australia
29 May 07
I think that in someways its important to show children that there are saving times with in families but I wouldnt want my children knowing when we couldnt afford the next house repayment or such. I have a girlfriend who has three teenages and is a single mum and they check her accounts and tell her when she has no money in them. I think this is to much info, I think there is plenty of time as an adult to worry about the bills and children should stay kids for as long as they can.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
31 May 07
Thanks for your thoughts. What do you think, then, are the limits to how much the children should know? The family I was talking about absolutely does not want the children to know, and the children still buy expensive clothes and such, which I think they should cut down on. I mean, you can still buy but you don't have to buy the most expensive ones, right?
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
31 May 07
Thank you so much for your comments. Just enough knowledge so they'll know but not too much details.
@tredale (1309)
• Australia
31 May 07
Yes you are are right like I said kids need to know when its saving time and spending time. Telling your kids nothing is also stupid they do need to know when its tough times but how much detail you give. I just think they dont need to know the ins and out of everything.
1 person likes this
@Zelmarq (12585)
• Cebu City, Philippines
29 May 07
I think the children has the right to know or they are too young to understand explain it to them in a way that they will not be hurt. When we were young our parents would tell us and explain that we might not be able to get what we wanted or other things that are not so important because we were tight with the money matters at home. Its also a way of helping each other in this times.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Thanks for your insight. Children are part of the family and must also share in the family's problems. :)
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
29 May 07
It all depends on how mature the children are and the lifestyle they have lived in. I feel that the children should not be shielded from the family's financial difficulties. By understanding the family's financial difficulties, they are more able to appreciate the meaning of living more frugally.
It would only bring more hardship on the family to keep up with times and the present lifestyle. Are the children more acceptable of the hardship then? I think they would fall into depression immediately should they be strike with a hard blow in one go. Planning ahead and preparing the children is better at addressing any inferior complex should there be any.
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Planning ahead...hmmm, didn't really think of that, but you are right. Children should be prepared for anything that happens to the family.
