emotional pain
By crickethear
@crickethear (1417)
United States
May 29, 2007 12:48am CST
Have you ever had such emotional pain, it made you physcially ill? All your hope and enjoyment has been taken from you. I am feeling like that. I am hurting so bad, that I just want it to stop. I have a lot of health issues, and I try so hard to deal with them. I have some weight issues, but food has been something I enjy=oy eating. Sadly to say it can be a highlight of my day. I go up and adown, and try, but it is hard. Today, someone who is close to me, made me feel like crap. We went out to dinner, and I was eating some bread that came with the dinner. She didn't say anything to me, it was just a look and vibe. I got emotional, and got upset and couldn't even eat after that. My whole dinner, was wrecked. The waitress asked if I wanted to take it home and i said no. I left and hardly spoke to this person. She says she worries about me, but then also knows I am fighting on a thin thread emotionally at times. She can choose the wrong times to say things. It doesn't matter when my weight is down, then it is my hair. It is always something. Why can't I measure up??? I have asked this over and over, and it just keeps happening. I am beginning to resent her so much and that pain adds to the pain I am already in. What am I suppose to do, and how can I ease my pain. I really am struggling to keep going I need some positive suggestions what I can do. I don't want to be around this person any more if this is going to continue to happen. Please offer suggestions. If you are a mother, do you do this to your child? If so, please stop, you have no idea the hell and torment you cause.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Hello crickethear. I can feel for you and I know where you're coming from. Based on what you described, you must be undergoing a serious depression. I am currently on my third month of dealing with depression too. This is the longest and most destructive of all. In a way, it is also my reason for laying low at mylot. I need a time of healing.
I had once read a book called "Positive Energy" by Dr. Judith Orloff. This book is all about people who are exhausted, with low energy, not feeling good and tolerating it as normal. She described that there are people who can just suck our energy dry. She called these people the "energy vampire." If you encounter this kind of people, you need to visualize a protective shield around your body so that the negative energy can't get to your body. Try to focus on something positive in your heart.
You need to refocus your life. I didn't take any medication nor consult any doctor. I know what I'm dealing and I prefer to cope with it alone without any professional help. I am also regularly taking evening primrose oil capsule which is a good supplement for depression. Somehow, it helps me to put my perspective back in shape. I am not completely out of my depression yet but I tried to master my whole being in gearing toward a more optimistic views in life.
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
I do take two different depression medications. I am still depressed, but part of it is from the MS medications I take. I like your advice, I need to do that. That is exactly what it does, it is like a vampire sucking your confidence, and everything else about yourself. I need to get stronger, and to say to heck with it. It is harder to do, and easier to say, lol. I will have to try that primrose. Maybe it will help me too. Hugs to my little bunny.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
30 May 07
Nobody said depression is easy. It will take months or even years to recover from it. But we need to push ourself toward the positive ways. By continuing to think of positive things, we are also driving away the negativity around us.
@macubx (11414)
• Philippines
29 May 07
yes, since i broke up with my girl, all i have was stress and malnourishent because all i think was her the whole day everyday. then i become physically ill..
well i dont have any good suggestion, i can only think of making myself busy to forget something about the pain..
2 people like this
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
Yeah, there is something about emotional pain that makes you physically ill.
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
29 May 07
I understand how you feel. My friend did the same thing to me. I think you need to tell your friend how you feel..and that it hurts you. I told my friend and she told me she would never hurt me she was just concerned about me....it is up to you how you want to deal with that...but I think that you need to find peace within yourself. You are never going to be everything to every body...so don't try. As long as you know you are a good person..then just focus on that...you can always try to lose the weight when you are ready....
1 person likes this
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
Thank you. I have to focus on the fact that I am a good person and that is what only matters. You are right about that.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
29 May 07
You poor darling, I wish I could give you a big hug. My father constantly refers to my weight in a critical manner. I ask him if that's supposed to make me feel better. When I lived with him recently, I ate very little, but I did snack on the wrong things when I stopped smoking so I gained even more weight. He told me to take up smoking again. I was so glad to move out but I now feel guilty because I'm not looking after him. He's almost 94 and and lives alone and is becoming quite confused.
It's difficult to be positive and happy and upbeat and motivated when you look in the mirror and hate who you see.
You need to talk to a professional and I hope you can do this so it won't cost a lot. I moved to a stress free environment so I'm hopeful (not yet confident) of getting my act together. I take St John's Wort for anxiety, and feel this helps me feel better and sleep better mostly...(I was awake at 2:30am and couldn't get back to sleep, my extra weight makes me very uncomfortable).
Stay away from this person who makes you feel so distressed, she is like poison to you.
Brightest blessings to you dear friend...you are not alone.
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
You know it is like, are we happy this way? Of course not. Why do they have the need to do that? It really makes me mad. My dad also use to say things too. It hurt. I think the look of disgust or disapproval is even worse. I am so sick of it. It really ticks me often when it comes from someone who can eat, and eat, and never gain a pound. Thank you for your response.
@evelynlyp (788)
• Japan
30 May 07
You should spend more time with someone who makes you feel better. You can try explaining to her about how she makes you feel. If it doesn't work, make some excuse to spend less time with them. What is important is to get back in good mental status.
Some people are critical. They can't help it. They feel the urge to criticise and they do not know that they are doing it at times.
1 person likes this
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
I do need to be in a good mental state. I can't continue to allow her to be critical, it isn't worth what it is doing to me. I don't know what makes people think that because they are your friend or family member, they have free reign to put you down, and make you feel bad about yourself.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
29 May 07
i hear ya.. i guess first of all you gotta have confidence in yourself. i know it's hard to feel that way when there are other people who always brings you down. but don't ever let anyone do that to you. they have no right to! the only person that can control you, is yourself! learn to embrace your full self. even the ugly side of it. i think you should come clean with this person and tell her how you feel. she might not know the affect her words have on you. it's better that you tell her how you need support rather than criticism. and it will also feel better to let your feelings out. don't wait until you're on the brink of madness.. just remember that everyone is beautiful in their own way and no one can say otherwise.. =)
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
Thank you. You are right, I need to have more confidence in myself. I do need to learn embrace myself, and not let her get to me. I have told her, but she always comes back, well it is the mother in me, and I love you. If you love me, then why do you want to hurt me. Time again, you know it hurts, so why do you do it? I can't figure it out.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
29 May 07
No I would never do this to my Child and never have
I know what you mean I went through it for years when I was married to the Ex Husband he always pulled me down
It took 12 months for me to get over that after the Divorce and that was with help from my Friends
Please fight it do not give into it
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
I don't why people have to do that. They say they are doing it for the good of you, and that is how they justify it. If they only knew what effect it had on you. There is no justification for it.
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
29 May 07
Sometimes depression can be so debilitating you are unable to make any choices for yourself and are only able to focus on your pain and your helplessness. Anyone who has not had to deal with depression will never understand. But it does sounds to me like you need to go to your doctor and get on an anti-depressant. They are made to help ease the helpless, apathetic feeling so you are more able to cope with your situation and can actually begin to make changes. My dauther's husband left her this year and she was totally devastated and so full of grief that she was non-functional for about a month and we were beginning to worry about her safety. She went to her doctor and got on an anti-depressant and the change was remarkable. She was able to stop crying and to feel like she could actually pick up her head and see something other than despair. Yes, she still had to cope with her situation, but it lessened the despair so that she actually COULD begin to cope. Good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
30 May 07
Thank you. Depression is debilitating. Then when you have someone who gets you down even more, that doesn't help.
