What do you do with annoying relatives?
By GuateMom
@GuateMom (1411)
Canada
May 29, 2007 12:33pm CST
My husband´s grandmother lives next to us and she is over about 10 times a day, especially since I had my baby. She brings food and stuff, which is nice, but she also really meddles and I´m so tired of it!
For example, today, my older son was having a lot of tantrums and just being a brat and acting overtired. Since he was awake for about 4 hours last night, I figured he was tired and put him down for a nap. He happily played in his crib for two hours before finally falling asleep. The grandmother came over to bring me soup and since she had been here 3 times already this morning, she started asking about my son.
I explained that he was sleeping (we were supposed to go out at 11, it is now 11:30, but I prefer to wait until he wakes up on his own) and she tells me that he has been sleeping too long and wanted to go in and check him, which would obviously wake him up! she wanted him to have some soup while it was hot, but I told her that he needs to sleep. It turned into quite a struggle, with me trying to be polite while making sure that my boy can get some sleep!
This has happened repeatedly. She is constantly fussing around, rearranging my kitchen (which is outside, so I can´t close the door, although she opens closed doors anyway), putting blankets on the baby and waking him up, opening or shutting windows, bringing in clothes which are still wet (because the devil will play with them if I leave them out) and the like. I know she is just trying to help, but it is getting really tiring. I can´t even take a nap because she will wake me up! And then ask why I look so tired all the time!
My husband has tried to talk to her and has even gotten fairly harsh, telling her to stop coming around, but she sees it as her Christian duty and even once, when I was having a horrible day and screamed at her to leave me alone and slammed the door in her face (I´m very embarrassed about that hormonally induced freak out), she was still back within an hour with tea!
What would you do about this situation?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Modestah (11177)
• United States
15 Jun 07
oh the poor dear must be very lonely (and controlling) how precious her heart is to want to help but how stubborn to not give you your space.
I think I would arrange a schedule - we would like you to be able to visit with the boys and us, but we really need to set up some sort of schedule....
of course it is hard to schedule everything, as with children things do not always go as planned. aye aye aye, this is a difficult situation. maybe some bolts?
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
30 May 07
LOL, I am sorry to laugh, but she sounds like a meddling little old woman. She probably has nothing else to do, and wants to help. Sometimes when people get older, they become very set in their ways. She wants to do things the way she did them. I would try to talk to her and explain that while you do appreciate he well wishes, she needs to give you some space. Tell her you want to try to do things on your own. Tell her that you know she is there if you need help and would definitely solicit her if you need any advice. Let her know that you appreciate her and you know she raised "x" amount of children and she should be proud, but now it's your turn. Sometimes, not yelling, nor arguing, but a good old fashioned "sit down" is all that is needed. it seems she really does just want to help. You yelled at her point blank in her face and she was back in an hour with tea. (probably to calm your nerves as I am sure she understood it was hormones)
@twilight021 (2059)
• United States
29 May 07
Wow...that sounds like a frustrating situation. While the help is nice it sounds like there are some boundry issues there and that she is going beyond being helpful and her "Christian duty", and is more meddling and controling.
Since telling her to outright stop isn't working, I'm wondering if it would work to set up some times for her to come over this way you would know when she is dropping by (maybe set up 2 times a day to start). Or what about asking if she wouldn't mind calling before stopping by so you can be sure you are "decent" or something. Maybe explain that you would like to nap, or you need some personal time or something...but that you would love to see her at 2pm or whatever.
I wish you luck with this, itsounds like a tricky situation.
@SilentRose19 (1733)
• United States
29 May 07
I try to ignore them best I can, if not i'll just listen to them long enough to make them happy and make up an excuse to get off the phone. Luckily i'm far away from my annoying relatives, and don't have to listen to them anymore. However i'm just as far away from the ones I like too, and it gets boring without them.
