Should I leave him

First of all I would talk more to him about it and see how he reacts. I'm bothered by the fact that you had to find out by accident, that he wasn't up front with you about it, like he has something to hide. If they are just friends why doesn't he bring her over to your place or go out on a double date with her or set her up with someone. Apparently they never talk about anything in front of you. It all sounds suspiscious to me. Maybe you can bring up some of these points with him and see how he reacts. I've been there done that and if you do get the chance to listen to one of their phone calls or meet up with her you will be able to tell for sure if somethings going on. Women have pretty strong intuition, but it's sometimes easier to stay in denial. But when it comes down to it no one can tell you what to do. Only you will know what to do or not to do. It does make it difficult that you have a baby. Does he seem to care about how this makes you feel? I wish you good luck and whatever happens is for the best for everyone concerned.

Having a kid makes it all the more complicated. Why don't you guys try talking it out over dinner or something? Maybe both of you feel that the sizzle in the relationship is gone....do something spontaneous, relax a li'l then casually bring up the topic of this other woman...OR...make a guy friend of your own...someone you can talk to or what and see how he reacts...:p

Firstly please check out if he is having an affair with that girl or she is just a friend. If you are sure that he is involved i think the best would be to reflect over what led him to do this why is he relying on another woman. Talk over and try to resolve this problem afterall any split between you two is going to have a very negative effect on your son.

Welcome to mylot.make a complete study of this person before coming to any conclusion,doubting is human, since doubt came up to your mind it is better for a thorough check and see that has a different look out.

There are two rules tht I have when it comes to men: you can't hit me and you can't cheat on me. If you have a son, then I suggest you seek couseling. If you are not married right now, then maybe you need to give him an ultimatium. But I know from experience that affairs can lead to really bad things. Little things like talking on the phone snowball into bigger things. Don't ignore the signs of a problem--but don't rush to leave him unless you know there's no other way. Best of luck--this isn't an easy thing to deal with.

Leave. Somebody who's not trustworthy is not worth it. Staying in a relationship should be base on love, not just on something you think you can't handle on your own. If he really loves you, he won't do such thing.

if this was me, i would ask him whats going on. yes, he is just talking with this other women but whats to say, he is not also thinking of having somehting else with her? security,you have that and trust, hes still with you. talk with him and tell him how you feel. yes,its hard once you have children together.best of luck with you and i hope all works out

you don't have to leave him unless you find the truth if he has been speaking to her and not telling you about it than it must hurt and specifically at this time.. Ask him to introduce her to you tell him that it is important for you to know when he makes a new friend and if he has nothing going on than he won't think twice about inviting her over and introducing her to you otherwise just ask him to stop talking to woman secretly tell him it hurt you.. i would be upset and furious as well if my guy goes talking to someone secretly only a woman can understand another's feeling soi know how you feelmy dear.. Don't worry too much about it maybe he just needed to talk to someone who knows maybe it's nothing..

Number 1. Do you really love him? With all of you? Would you sacrifice anything to be with him? If the answer is yes then you should do the following. Talk to him. Tell him every detailed feeling about this girl about you two being together and about how you feel about him. Ask him to maybe stop talking to this girl all the time. Keep a strictly friendly relationship with her and nothing more. If he truely loves you the same way, he will talk with you and you two should be able to work out a solution.

i think u better talk to both of them straightly. if he will care for teh child and ofcourse for u, as u do, then he'll definitely don't do that again. but if he refuses then u have take the step of leaving him bcoz it won't only ruin ur life but also ur son's life too!!

Listen here girly....I know exactly what you mean...only my situation is def a little more complicated..you see, my relationship started in the breech of trust. I was cheating on my husband with him and he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. So you see the trust issue is already a problem. We have a 5 month old baby and we have "officially" together for a little over a year now..if I counted the time that we were seeing each other on the "down-low" it would be two years. Well we have been having problems and just 2 weeks ago...I walked into my house and found him trying to delete a message right away. To his misfortune I caught a realy good glympse of what he tried to delete. I know the passwords to everything that he has online. I went in an it was to some random girl on this myspace thing. He told her that he wasn't single but that he wished he was and that he could talk to him anytime he wanted and that he of course thought that she looked good the picture. Boy this was crazy! I went crazy and I left him....I went to my moms house and took our baby with me. I seriously was not having it. He looked for me of course and then he explained why he did it. ....He had to apologize for maybe an hour and completely delete his accounts on the computer. That proved to me that he did care about my feelings and that he wasnt going to be untrue. Well with that said my advice to you is that if he didnt have anything to hide he would have told you about that from the jump. Having a kid together makes things hard but PLEASE dont let that be the reason that you blind yourself from what is happening around you. Make him tell you what is happening and ask him if you can meet this girl. You know like I said before if he has nothing to hide like he says then he should not have a problem humoring you. Or go investigate it yourself if he wont let up. That is what I do I go look for it myself because the truth will always surface and sometimes it takes us to find it. Good LUck to you and hopefully everything turns out to be okay.

Well... we as women do get a little jealous over guys... we need to stop that. Just because he said he was TALKING to some girl doesnt mean they're dating. Calm down, relax, and talk to him. you think after 3 YEARS ur mate might have stopped loving you? Dream on girl, no offense at all... but she's just a girl. to him you're more than just some girl, you're his world, his love and maybe even the only reason he wakes up in the morning. I dont know you i dont know HIM... but there isnt a need to be jealous. Just trust him. 3 years... remember that.

It's definitely more difficult when there are kids involved. Bottom line is, if you can trust him, it's not worth it. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Do whats best for YOU so that you can better take care of your son. If that means leaving, so be it. the happier you are the better mommy you can be.

I guess Im just really confused as to why he would exchange numbers with this girl in the first place? Im actually a pretty jealous person and I think I would be extremely hurt from this. I dunno. Thats just me. Not saying that that is right or anything. Also, eventhough things are bad between you two, you are still together right? then he shouldnt be "talking" with other girls.

Some talkings mean nothing. Dont be jelous without any serious reasons. Be smarter. Offer to him to introduce to you this girl. Why not, if he has nothing to hide? Invite her at lunch, try to have a contact with her and to value is she dangerous for you or not.

I dont see anything wrong with talking to another girl. Unless he is sleeping with her then thats a whole other story. And if he was then yes dump him. Good luck with this one.

My first thought was how did you know about the voice mail on his cell phone? Have you "conditioned" your partner to feel that he needs to hide normal social behavior from you so that you won't "think" he is cheating or drill him with questions and insecurities? Second, I think that if you're feeling the need to ask strangers on the computer whether or not you should leave him says a lot about the lack of bond and trust in your mutual relationship. With that said, your hormones are probably still very unbalanced since your child is only 5 months old, and I can understand your fears. You've said you don't know if you can trust him "again". What has he done to lead you to mistrust him now, and is there something in the way that he anticipated you would respond to have caused him to act secretly? Questions for you to ask yourself and your partner...not to answer here. Often after a new baby, dads/husbands are pushed aside as mother bonds with the little one and fuss over him. Is your partner feeling ignored, used, or left out? Good luck to you. :)

It's better if you ask him first before you draw some conclusions on him. Tell him everything, what you're feeling and thinking. I think you're just having some misunderstanding. Try to communicate with him regularly.

I have had the same problem with my boyfriend, we have 2 children together, we have been together for 4 years, and at the begining things were bad, the girl he was talkin to called our house, and i asked how she knew him and she said she just met him and he had taken her to the movies, he had told her he had a fiance', but that we were getting ready to break up...and at this time i was already pregnant with our daughter, so i forgave him, and went through 2 more years of complete and total hell, he has never abused me, but he had a serious problem with other women. I stayed through it all, forgave him over and over again, until finally, when i was pregnant with our youngest son, he actually left me for another girl, and then decided he really wanted to be with me and have this family he had helped to create, and i refused to take him back. I finally gave in after 2 weeks, and he has not cheated on me since then, it has been 2 years, but i still cannot trust him, i don't believe i will ever be able to, i question every move he makes, and it is very stressfull to be in that position, but its a choice i have made for me and my family. So, my advice to you is, know what your getting into, no matter what decision you make, in some small way you will be devistated, i always told everyone "im stupid enough to stay with him, but not stupid enough to believe him", you need to know the truth, but, that does not mean you necessarily have to leave him. Do what you know is best for you and your baby, I wish you luck, be strong!!!

I think you should make sure about if it is really something that serious. Has he talked about her? It might be serious if he does not want to talk about it. Try to talk with him and see if he is still loyal.