Do you believe in tough love?
By estherlou
@estherlou (5015)
United States
June 3, 2007 2:22pm CST
I was flipping channels and came across a movie called "Augusta gone". It was a movie to talk about runaway hotline and the help they provide. It was about teens out-of-control and parents not knowing how to handle them. It was about teens on drugs or runaways. Anyway, there was a wilderness camp the parents could send them to for a month to 6 weeks at a time. They would be exersized, detoxed from drugs or cigarettes or drinking, and counciled. Kids with all kinds of problems would be there. Kids full of anger and self-destructive. Some of them made it and some of them ran away to get caught and brought back and some commit suicide. Our family was dsyfunctional...whose isn't? but not to this level. I can't imagine the pain and guilt and frustration it would cause to have to send your child off to a camp to be "fixed" because you were at your wits end. Anybody know anything about this?
3 people like this
11 responses
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
3 Jun 07
i sure do i had to have my youngest placed in a recovery hospitL AGAINST HER WILL WHEN SHE WAS A TEEN i wont go into all the details but she be came completly unhandleable It cost me a small fortune and did absolutly nogood what so ever ,but through (i believe )a lot of prayers by a lot of people and a fantastic guy comming into her life she is now as straight as an arrow thank God Her now husband did every thing we her family could not and straightened her out so this is one of my miracles they do happen believe me
2 people like this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
3 Jun 07
A true success story! How wonderful! I'm sure it was terrible as you went through it...but am so glad it has all worked out for the best.
1 person likes this
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
3 Jun 07
thank you now when people ask if i believe in miracles i can say with truth i sure do!what i told was only a brief part of the story the long version is almost unbelievable the things this kid di d you wouldnt believe if i told you and if you saw her today youd only guess by the tatoo on her ankle she covers up with make up!
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
6 Jun 07
I was in this situation with my girls and was at my wits end. We were so alone with family support nil. Everywhere I turned I came up against a brick wall. After a few years when everything had settled down I thought that if ever I won the lottery or something I would create a home in the bush for wayward kids and teach them how to farm and drive and oh, all sorts of things. I think it's a great idea because I believe that these kids lack discipline and structure in their young lives. Mine had the discipline, it's what they rebelled against but as a working Mum they were on their own way too much.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
7 Jun 07
We actually sent my stepson to one of those camps. He was way over the edge. I believe that he was a danger to himself and others. His mother is bipolar and he has terrible anger management issues. They didn't fix everything that is screwed up in his head, but he is somewhat better.
It was a place in the middle of nowhere in Utah. There were hills all around and not much else. The nearest town was an hour away.
The worst part was the family counseling weekend. His mother had to come too, of course. She is very egocentric and she seemed to turn all the sessions around to how it affected her. We had had the kid ourselves for 7 years. She and he couldn't be together for more than 3 hours without a fight.
1 person likes this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I think tough love is really the only thing that'll help some kids. Some people try everything, even to the point of putting their own children in jail and nothing works. There was a special on tv awhile back about one of those tough love wilderness camps and it was a really interesting show. You saw the beforehand stories, all of which were horror stories. These parents had tried everything and nothing had worked. These kids were sent to a camp and had to live off the land, they to learn to deal with other people in acceptable ways, and everything else. Many of them learned to respect their parents, and other people simply by being made to do things for themselves. I think that if it needs to be done, I think those places can help only if they are done correctly and safely.
2 people like this
@candiec2005 (828)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Well when I was a teenager I was uh...let's say disturbed. My mom got very frustrated and didn't know what to do with me. Therefore, she sent me to a center for troubled teens for like about a month and there they tried to help me with counseling and stuff. This center was inside a hospital. Of course, I hated it. And I don't think it helped much to be honest with you. But my poor mother didn't know what else to do. I feel bad now. I grew out of it, and now I am a mature, responsible adult. And I think it all had to do because of her. Because of the way she was with me and the discipline instilled in me. NOT because of the center she took me to when I was younger.
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Hello esther. There are some cases where the kids are better off to stay in camp rather than with their parents. These kids are full of anger and hatred and they tend to hide it from their parents. By staying in the camp, they might feel more comfortable and be able to open up their heart. This is usually a very hard reality for parents to face. In as much as they like to protect their little ones, they don't realized that things are starting to get out of nowhere. They will start to questioned their own wisdom and their capability as a parents.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
6 Jun 07
As sad as it sounds, if you can't handle your kids anymore, you got to let someone who will take care of that, take over. Someone got to do it and if it isn't the parents, maybe someone who's good in that area should.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10657)
• United States
3 Jun 07
When parents do not do their jobs and raise the kids with firm rules and lots of love and time invested, kids can go way wrong and when they are teens it is very hard to do anything then. That is often why you see this kind of thing and I think for a big part of the group of teens it can work. I have heard of some success stories. Also some nightmares also. My kids would look forward to those camps since we are outdoorsy and believe in keeping those abilities available. We don't know how our lives will be and the ability to fend for yourself gives you an advantage. Will be neat to see what others have to say.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I have a friend who's younger son is out of control. He's pretty much been out of control since he was 3. He ran away from home & stole a car at 12. A judge has put him in a military school because his parents can't control him. They've had no trouble with their elder son, its the kid, not the parenting.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
4 Jun 07
What you described is something like a home for troubled kids. I do think it might be a good idea to put the kid there despite the pain and agony the parents might face. It might be nice if it is just a camp, and the kids do not have a record for being there. We have in Singapore what we call the Boy's home for juvenile offenders. If they are adults, they go to prison instead of a home. And a record is being kept.
@celestemichelle (429)
• United States
4 Jun 07
My mother-in-law actually used to work at these wilderness camps. She has some interesting stories, and in one situation, two staff members broke down because they weren't prepared to live in the wilderness for 6 weeks. One had gotten injured hiking in, and the other just kept making mistakes with the tents and food.
Her comment on the experience is "when you get troubled kids like that out of their home enviroment and put them in the words for 6 weeks you will get results." She collected the kids boots every night to prevent runaway attempts, but still had to stop a couple.
1 person likes this
