Home wreckers! No excuse!

@Foxxee (3653)
United States
June 3, 2007 4:55pm CST
What does everyone think about the so called other woman? How do you feel about the women out there that continue trying to get with a married man? Don't you feel they are homewreckers? I hate women out there that know damn well the man they are pursuing has a family at home. He could have a wife and kids at home, but she still wouldn't care. Why can't they understand that married men are off limits? I find it really trashy. Do they honestly think he will leave his family for them? Maybe in some cases, but in most, he always goes back to his wife and kids. Your just a toy they use and then throw out! Trashy, trashy… that is all I have to say about this. Women need more respect for themselves. They need to stop settling for second best, because like it or don't like it, when you push yourself into a married mans life, you will always be second best. Nobody can ever add up to the wife. So what are your views on this? Have you ever tried to be with a man, knowing he was married with kids? If so, why? In my eyes there is no excuse for a women who continue on with a relationship with a married man. It's dirty! I also know it works both ways... trust me, I'm against the husbands out there that cheat on their wifes. They are not only cheating on their wife, they are cheating on their kids. It's selfish and they should be ashamed. If husbands want to jump in on this conversation, please do. Also, I know there are men out there that prey on married women. So you can jump in also! Let me hear some views about all this!
9 people like this
27 responses
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I dont think (in fact I know) its always as cut and dry as "he's married with kids and off limits"..and I also know that married men who cheat arent always on the up and up with the women they are cheating with... That being said though, when a woman goes after and is with a man she KNOWS is married with children and has no intention of leaving his wife and kids..yes she's trash..and he's no better and they are both to blame.... other side of the coin though, I was my husbands mistress...however he and his first wife didnt have a great relationship when I met him and the marriage was basically over at that point..
2 people like this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
4 Jun 07
If their marriage was pretty much over, then I can understand that. I just don't respect women who chase after married men knowing he will never leave his wife and kids. And I don't have respect for the married man either. They both are disrespectful.
• United States
3 Jun 07
I agree with you. I don't see any reason someone should chase down a married man or woman. It has to be a uncomfortable relationship. Can you imagine having to sneek around seeing each other out of view. Plus it's not worth it if you get caught. You can ruin a family. There's enough single men and women in this world that you shouldn't have to go after a married person. Lloyd
2 people like this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I agree with you so much! There is other fish in the sea. A married man or a married female should be off limits.
2 people like this
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Wow- Well first off I think it is both of them- It takes 2 to tangle- I find it way more offensive for the man! He is the one who is married with kids- He took the oath- Sure I find the women to be trashy also- Unless of course they have no idea the man is married- I have never been with a married man nor would I- if I knew- I think it is sick! But I put far more blame on the man than the woman!
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Both are to blame. It's equal in my eyes. But you do get women that prey on married men. I think it's trashy on the womens part.
2 people like this
@Meljep (1668)
• United States
4 Jun 07
You are right. A married has already taken an oath to "forsake all others". That means leave other women alone. Their needs are to be supplied by their wife and they need to figure out that works. As for the women fooling with married men, the poster before had a good point. If a married man is looking to tear up his marriage he most likely won't tell the person he is messing with that he is a married man. The absence of a ring is usually the first step toward that downward spiral.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
4 Jun 07
There are cases when the other woman knows the man is married and still wants to mess around with him. In my discussion I was talking about the women who know the man they are chasing after is married with kids. In cases like that, it's the woman's fault and the man's fault. I do know that if the woman never knew the man was married, then I agree, the man is to blame.
@saralee1 (1983)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Oh heck no! I do not think single ladies go out of their way to attract married men, just the lunatics! If anything, married men have 100% of the blame here, because they KNOW they are married, and usually, the woman does not. I dated these loser guys before who told me they were single, yet they were actually married. the scumbags! that is cheating on two women. who would be proud of a manlike that? and THEN when you find out, 100% of the time, they say their marriage is on the rocks, and they are planning a divorce. What jerks!
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I understand what you are saying, but I was talking about something else. Yes the man is to blame 100% of the time in your case. But I was talking about the women who chase after a married man, knowing he is married with kids and still continues with the relationship. Now that in my eyes is trashy and very disrespectful on both ends.
• United States
4 Jun 07
I think both the man and the woman are to blame but the person who is married is more at fault because they are the one that took the oath. I don't expect a person that I do not know to care about how I feel about the situation.
1 person likes this
4 Jun 07
I feel it is discusting i know a few girls that are friends of mine and all they seem interested in is trying to "pull" a married man ive tried telling them its wrong but they dont seem to care.
1 person likes this
@lillake (1634)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Personally i put more blame to the married men who acept the advances. After all they are the one smarried, they are the ones with a family at home,they are the ones who should say no.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6252)
• Malaysia
4 Jun 07
There are so many single women and men out there and I don't understand why married man/woman need to get involved in this kind of relationship. I find no concrete reason for this homewreckers to act this way. They should know very well what to do when they get involved with married man/woman. Maybe, some women out there, who prey on married man think that it is some kind of 'triumph' to be able to destroy other woman's marriage life. It happened to one of my sisters. I can see how much my sister and the kids suffered due to this. The husband left her and the kids for another woman. The reason given : He couldn't leave both of them. He didn't want to divorce my sister and at the same time he didn't want to leave the other woman as he couldn't live without her. I find it so amazing for him to say like that after marrying my sister for 15 years! To make it easier, my sister made a decision to get a divorce. I think that is the right thing for her. She is happy with her 'single' life now and only concentrates on her two grown up sons. For women out there who has a thinking to get involved in this complicated relationship...think twice before you destroy other people's life. Who knows it will get back to you or your next generation!
• United States
4 Jun 07
I agree with krisny. Now a days men nor women have respect for the word marriage. Let alone for each other. Alot of folks get married for the wrong reasons. And then there go you will have another woman or another man from this unhappy or misunderstood marriage. I don't agree with neither one the other man or the other woman.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jun 07
Yep,I believe that you are right in what you think.Also,I believe that half of the responsibilty lies with the man."Trash" is a good term.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10120)
• United States
4 Jun 07
It is definitely wrong and very disrespectful.The man is at fault to because he should not be cheating on his wife.Then that other woman is crazy because why do she think he wont cheat on her if he leaves his wife.He was cheating on his wife.Come on its not right.There are plenty men/women in the world why mess with somebody married.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I agree that this is a serious problem that plagues the women of the world in one way or another...too many settle for much less than they deserve.... If all of the women of the world would rise up and not tolerate this second-class citizen (now anyways...but there was a time we were not even considered that)treatment that we have endured for what seems like an eternity... I simply have no respect for a woman who intentionally sets her sights on a man...because he is married....I do not understand the mentality of this way of thinking....what is the benefit of having a part-time man who is using you strikly as entertainment anyways.... Men who do this are not any better in my opinon...
• United States
11 Jul 07
Well, there are two sides to every story and unfortunately the wife and the girlfriend only hear the "cheaters version" of the "facts" which are usually pretty well rehearsed and inaccurate...cheaters are smooth. If they aren't cheating with one, they will cheat with somebody else and yeah, the woman on the other end of it gets hurt just as much as the wife does sometimes. I dont know of any man I worked with at the transmission shop, Detroit Ball Bearing, two auto parts stores, etc, that did NOT cheat. Everyone I have been in a relationship with cheated also. I have yet to know a man personally, friend or otherwise who doesn't - or hasn't. Of those, MOST of them list their wife's tight rein and her insecurity about herself, OR her dogging him about petty stuff as the main reasons they are unhappy...and "hunting" for something to boost his repeatedly-beaten-down ego. It's sick. Cheating I mean. I don't blame the other woman at all even when she knows the guy is married and has a family. If it isn't her, it WILL be SOMEONE else. He will take ANYONE who will have his attention.
• United States
11 Jul 07
When my ex cheated, I felt sorry for the other women who didn't know what sort of hell they were getting themselves into.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I honestly don't feel sorry for the other woman, that is if she knew he was married. If she knew he was married and still played an active part in his wife/childrens life, another words, still together and she knew it, she should know better and if she gets hurt during all of this, that is all on her because she knew the facts. Doesn't matter if the husband has a sad story or not. If the other women knows, they both are to blame.
• United States
14 Jul 07
I can see where you're coming from and understand your position. We'll just have to acknowledge that we have differing views in this area. ;) The "other woman" isn't the one who made all the vows and promises to the wife...the husband did...therefore, she is not the one cheating on the wife - in my opinion - HE is, and if it weren't for whining to ONE mistress about how she fulfills him and he is in a troubled marriage about to end and he will be with her instead, yada yada, then he will find SOME other woman to whine to (that is NOT his wife). I agree that the "other woman" should not buy into his BS and if she does then she has a world of hurt coming her way. :) Thanks for the interesting topic. Smiles, DL
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
In my view it takes two to tango. Why is it always the woman that gets blamed? (don't get me wrong I never had an affair or went after a married man) but I have known plenty of married men who messed around, flirted, and pursued other women and when they were found out they blamed the woman. Are you saying that women have a greater responsibility than men to stay clear of such situations? It seems to me that both marriage wreckers are to blame equally.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
4 Jun 07
No she knows men are wrong to but men are so WEAK when it comes to women and attention,they always have to prove themselves,she just feels like women as smart as they are should have more respect for themselves.Not be as weak as some men i know
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I know men are to blame as well. But what I am saying is, there are a lot of women that chase after married men and that is trashy and yes, they are to blame. If the other woman knows he is married and still continues to see him, then she is in my eyes the one I would blame. I know both are at fault, but if this woman keeps chasing the married man, come on now, we all know most men are weak. But anyway, it's trashy and that is how I feel. I know the man is also to blame. And even if the married man was flirting around, the other woman should turn around and back away if she knows he is married, she has no right to continue on. She can walk away just as well as the man can.
@mismoney (130)
• United States
4 Jun 07
are you dealing with stupid bs like i am?
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I don't know what you mean? What BS?
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I agree,there are a lot of women out there like that.I had one of them kind working in my ex husbands office and she had her sights on my husband cause he was a good catch and her old man didn't work,she turned my husbands head and caused us some big trouble,i almost lost my mind.He did not want her ,but he was flattered by the attention..I had some of the men working there telling me and they told him ,things like your wife is so pretty why would you even look at that trashy woman?Im thin and nice looking but she was trashy and dressed trashy.I have been there,and i know just what you are talking about.Men will not usually leave their wifes,they just get in a rut and think they are losing it and a little attention goes to their head.She knew he was married a had a family but she did not care.My daughter went through the same thing ,her husband got off work earlier than she did and while she was still working some old cheap thing from across her street did it to her with her husband.A woman that goes with a married man gets what she deserves ,left behind,cause he won't give up his wife and family for her.It has nothing to do with looks either,my daughter is also very pretty and she looked so much better than that other thing.Men are just weak nad it really makes me mad just thinking about those kind of women.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
15 Jun 07
Very well stated "Rain SHine" but don't forget this famous line that the men use when out on the prowl..." MY WIFE JUST DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ME" BOO HOO
@Swtrose (3399)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
As you pointed out men are increasingly reviled as homewreckers too. It's very easy to get caught up in the 'Grass is Greener' mindset. I know a woman who broke up a marriage and the sad thing is it was her friend's marriage she broke up. She is now living with the husband.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
4 Jun 07
See! I hate trash like that! It was her own friend, so she knew he was married, and still went for it. UGh! There are plenty of men out that are single. I don't understand why a married man is so special.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
21 Aug 07
I think the cheating husbands are far worse than the homewreckers... The husband is the one who walked down the isle and made promises to his wife. It is wrong for a woman to pursue a married made. There is no argument there. But I've always felt that the one who should be held most accountable is the spouse, not the outside person. The outside person is not the one who made the promises.
• India
28 Jul 07
Well 4 those who arent aeare most of these women have a history of abuse during their childhood. Their behaviour is a result of what happened. I should say thet such wimen should be helped As 4 the men who take advantage of them-god help them & save them from the misery they r about to bring upon themselves and their family.