which do you prefer die from pain or without pain?

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of course i knew what really pain is and anyone here wouldnt like pain. i am one of those people who doesnt like pain.But if ever i die i would go for pain just to see my loveones first before i go so i still can ask forgiveness to anyone i love,someone i have hurt ,to see my friends and loveones thinking it's also the same passion of Jesus christ when he became human like us rather without pain but not seeing them just to say anything what u wanted to say before leaving them like "i love you" and "i am sorry". Usually most cases of this was very unacceptable to the families. More sacrifices between you and your families and this would be difficult for you to leave cause they wont allow you to go for the reason that they never knew in all of a sudden u lost in the family. what you think so?