When is the right time to have children??

United States
June 6, 2007 6:16pm CST
Everyone thinks that they know, and I believe it depends on the individual. Now my question is acyually what is the best age to have children. Some think you should be young, others believe when you are older. What do you think. Everyone is different so this should be interesting.
6 people like this
18 responses
@liyan97 (2128)
• Northern Mariana Islands
7 Jun 07
I don't know what would be the right age to have a kid. I feel that it doesn't really have to do with age, rather the willingness to become a parent. Being a parent takes alot of soul searching and responsability. It means giving up all you want for the things you need! If you can look past the things you want and focus on giving your child all that he/she may need to succeed in this life, then I think that you are ready to be a parent. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that having a kid at twelve is appropriate, Nor am I saying that having a kid at thirty is better! I had my fist kid at the age of twenty one, I don't feel that my age had anything to do with my ability to become a mother. It was my ability to let go of my wants and provide the needs of my son, that has made me a great mother!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jun 07
Everyone is right, It is different for all of us, and like it was mentioned in one of the discussions are we ever really ready to be a parent the first time around, I don't know.
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
7 Jun 07
I don't think i know when the best age is but i do have an opinion! My opinion is early 20's to very early 30's - mainly because you don't want to be too old to play with your kids, you also don't want to be too young coz kids require their parents to be responsible & capable of doing things themselves. Also, if you push too far over 30 - there are more risks involved with being pregnant, more chances of things going wrong or your children having defects or other problems. You also don't want to be too old or you wont have the energy to keep up with the little ones. Having said that, only you as an individual knows when you are ready to have kids so that's always the best way to know when it's best for you!
• United States
7 Jun 07
that was my reason with my children, I didn't want to be too old to chase them around and really get to have fun with them.
@carryli (876)
• China
7 Jun 07
I think no matter what age you are,the most importantance it the economy,if you just can earn for youselft live enough,i think your are not suit to have a chirld.the other importance is whether you are mature enough,if you are just as a chirld,you shouldn't have a chirld.For,i think i must have enough money and enough mature,then i decide to have a baby,maybe i will be older 30 age.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
7 Jun 07
carryli has a good point, too. financial stability is also one aspect we should look into. being mature isn't just enough to start having kids on your own. you should also think about your kids' future. by doing so, one should atleast be financially capable of raising their own children making sure that these kids will be given bright futures, too.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jun 07
I can see the advantages of having children while the woman is younger. But, being able to financially afford to care for the child is an important aspect that needs to be considered. I think it is better to wait until you are mature enough to handle the responsibility of child rearing. I have seen so many young people struggle with trying to raise children on limited resources that in my opinion it is just sometimes best to wait.
• United States
7 Jun 07
yeah I see your point, but on the other hand people that waite too long end up with complications for themselves and others.
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
7 Jun 07
Just yesterday evening there was a debate about people that needed medical help to have children. The main reason is that people wait too long to have kids. I think it is a good idea to have kids when you are fairly young. Where I live the economy plays a part in this decision too. If you have children before you start a career you will not get much money while on maternity leave. So it pays off to have been working for a few years before you have kids.
• United States
7 Jun 07
I agree, it does become complicated to have children after a certain point.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
7 Jun 07
there is no specific age to when one should have children. age is just a matter of number as we always say. i always believe that the right time for an individual to have kids is when he/she is mentally, physically and emotionally ready to become a parent. it's always best when before becoming a dad or a mom, he/she is already sure that he/she can do all the responsibilities parents will face for a very very long time. ... anne
• Pakistan
7 Jun 07
i dont have any information about the matter so plz tell me in detail to underdstand me ok by thanks
@ShawnDay (227)
7 Jun 07
I have a lot of friends who waited until the right time and it never arrived.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13893)
• United States
7 Jun 07
i don't know if there is a right time. i mean i had my first child at 17 and my last one at 32. i have three totally and i love them all and they came when they were suppose to come i guess. are you ever really ready at first? nope, but once you are thrown into parenthood you just start to figure it out. so is there a good age, i don't know, is there a good time in your life, i don't know. what i do know is when it happens you will be ready. and that is all that is really important
@kbourgerie (8780)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I don't believe there is a "right" time to have children.Being young has its advantages as does waiting until you are somewhat older. I didn't have my first until I was 30 and had my third when I was 39. I don't regret waiting so late in life, as for me personally my children keep me young at heart and in my mind. Because they don't come with a service manual I don't think I was more prepared at 30 then I would have been at 20. I just know that when they do arrive, whether it be at age 18 or at age 40 your life only gets better from there.
@cutepenguin (6448)
• Canada
7 Jun 07
I don't think there is a right age, perse. My husband and I are hoping to start trying this year, and we will be ready in some ways and not quite ready in others.
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Jun 07
I believet that this is up to each couple about when the best time was but if someone wanted my opinon on when I really felt was the best time , based on my own experiences then I would say , when a person was still young and the reason for this is that I miscarried my first child when I was really young and then when I was nineteen I got pregnant with my next child in whom I had many problems and almost lost . It took almost two full years to have my second child and with this one , I went into labout when I was three months pregnant , I was told there would be no hope of saving my baby but miraculously he went back in and I ended up having him two weeks overdue but it was a long hard pregnancy . After my son I had two more miscarriages and was told I would never have another child again . I proved them wrong when eight and a half years later I was pregnant again . More compleccations with this pregnancy but not as bad as with the other one's . I was so convinced it would take me another eight years or longer if I was to ever have another child again and was surprised when I had my next child twenty two months later . After this child we took in a teenager and she is now a part of our family . Just recently I have had another miscarriage . My point that I am trying to make was when my husband and I got together , I only wanted two children and never would have thought that I would ever want a lot of children . My children are my life and I can't imagine my life without them but I had a really hard time having any of them . If I had waited til I was older I may never have been able to have any children and I can't imagine how my life would be without them in my life or how alone and incomplete life would feel without children . So my point is that you never know what you could be missing until you have something and never know how important it could be in your life .
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I think its nice to have them when you are younger that way you have the energy to play with them and you are still young enough to enjoy your life after your kids move out. but i think you should wait until you are married a few years before starting on kids. my husband and i were only married 6 months when i got pregnant, so we didn't get to spend much us time before the baby came along. it caused a lot of strain on our relationship for awhile. but we got through it and now we are celebrating our 6th anniverary and welcoming our 3rd child in july.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I think that it is a personal choice actually. Some people don't feel like their ready till they are older and more experienced. Like the mother who just had twins in her sixties. She thinks she is better capable to be a mother now then she was earlier in her life. Personally I didn't want to have a child that I wasn't able to take care of myself. I wanted to be mature enough to realize that my child's needs had to come before my own. But yet I wanted to be young so that I would be able to have fun with my child and then eventually with my grandchildren. You are right everyone is different. People look at different issues when they decide to become parents. Some are looking towards the future and what at it entails. While others just look at the here an now issue.
1 person likes this
@naqeed (13)
• India
7 Jun 07
Well before having a child, the most important thing is marrige, we need to see that what is the right time and age for marrige?personally i believe a person should be well enough himself, before getting married, and well abt child? it all depends upon the mutual understanding between the couple, no one can rely upon that...
1 person likes this
@rapolu_cs (1184)
• India
7 Jun 07
I depends ones individuality and what i think is below 30 and above 24yrs of women is the best age to have kids as the kid will be healthy and even mothers will avoid the chest cancers which are in progress nowadays in women who give birth to young ones at their late ages and moreover the women of this ages are find to be more active and more concerened with lot of patience than those compared to older ages.
• United States
7 Jun 07
I have a daughter that is five years old. She was a surprise to us and we went through and prepared as necessary to have a child. Afterwards I chose to get and IUD. When my husband and I talked of having another it was a hard thing to do...we would have to chose to adjust the money and housing and it ended up being a bigger decisions than we would have liked. So, I believe that regardless when you have a child if you prepare and do what needs to be done to raise and love your child that it will work out. We didn't really have money when we had our daughter but we made adjustments and as long as we were fed and had a roof over our heads we were fine. Our daughter didn't know how much money we had. As she got older and we got older we were able to become what people strive to be before they have a child, financial stable. Sometimes it is better to be surprised than planned. Children require sacrifices regardless of age or money.
1 person likes this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
7 Jun 07
It really does differ so much from person to person. I was 23 when I had my son. I thought it was a great age. I had a good job, my husband had a good job with full medical insurance. Our marriage was stable, and neither of us was ever into the partying scene. We're very happy. Even though I no longer use my schooling, I'm glad that I got it taken care of before I had my son. When I do decide to go back to work (if ever), I will have a skill that will be useful. My husband is in the process of getting his degree right now. It is harder with the baby at home, but since I stay at home, it makes it easier for my husband to study.
1 person likes this