Are you stereotyping your child?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
June 8, 2007 11:39pm CST
Do you stereotype your children? You know the stereotypes I'm talking about; pink is for girls, and blue is for boys. Boys play sports and girls sit at home and do dishes and knit. These often seemingly harmless differences between boys and girls at young ages, somehow magically manifest themselves into great divides by the teen years.
And, while many boys are encouraged to excel in math and science and advance their careers through education, their female counterparts (in the US and around the world) are relegated to less meaningful pursuits.
As parents we have to decide which direction we'll encourage our children to go. But, sometimes do you feel that your decisions are based on the choices that your parents made for you.
Perhaps that if your parents had offered you a more liberal path to walk, you would now be able to make those more enlightened decisions for your own child?
Are you helping to free your child from preconceived notions and stereotyped roles?
Or, do you think it's inevitable to naturally pidgeon hole kids into certain roles?
2 people like this
12 responses
@camar_lyn (1028)
• Singapore
9 Jun 07
I don't stereotype my 2 boys aged 3 and 6. I make them clean the house, do the laundry, cook, swim, cycle, etc.. YES both boys have their tiny roles to play.
My younger boy likes pink ranger of the power rangers. I don't mind it but he's been getting comments from cousins, uncles and aunties about it. I told my son that it is ok to like pink and it is just the same as the other colors.
Who started with the pink for girls and blue for boys concept anyway? - Lyn
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
9 Jun 07
Awhile back I heard that the pink/blue trend dates back to an old Native American tradition and legend, where baby boys were wrapped in blue (to represent the sky and heavens) and baby girls were wrapped in pink (to represent dirt and earth) at birth. The purpose and intent was to protect the babies from evil spirits that might swoop down on the baby and take them away.
Supposedly, when the evil spirit saw the blue on the boy, he would be scared away, thinking that the child was a being from the sky or heavens, like an angel.
And, upon seeing the pink color, wrapped around the girl, he would just disregard taking her away, because he wouldn't want anything to do with something so lowly and humble as the earth. That was the hope anyway.
And, thus the spirit would leave both children alone.
So, in effect, the parents were trying to protect their children in the only way they knew how.
I think it was just the parents (superstitious) way of trying to protect their babies from SIDS or other unexplainable fate.
Unfortunately, when the legend was adapted into modern American culture it took on a more sinister undertone that had less to do with protection and more to do with stereotyping.
Good question. Hope that provides some insight.
@liukuo2004 (1)
• China
8 Aug 07
I have a three-year-old son.I often discuss how to educate our child with my friends. we have the same opinion on it's difficult to educate my child good!
we aren't stereotype our children,but also we cann't neglect child's thoughts!we only encourage him to get the aim they want,we must choose which direction what is best suitable for him!maybe parent think it good ,but children don't think so.As parent,we only do that we lead child according to their interests!
Do you think so?
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I never made my boys did "boy" things and if I had any girls I wouldn't make them do "girl" things. My boys both played sports, but that's because they wanted to. I was so mad at their father a few times because when my oldest wanted to play the clarinet he told him "Play the trumpet, the clarinet's for girls." My son still played the clarinet and was very good at it. My youngest wanted to make his friends stockings one year for Christmas so I showed him how to crochet. He made them for the whole class and one boy did not believe he made them because only girls do that stuff. He took that little boys stocking away. They also both cook - although my youngest actually enjoys it. They also do laundry and all the "girl" stuff around the house.
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
8 Aug 07
I think in some ways I do stereotype my little boy, but when he gets older, and makes more choices for himself, I will let him and I will be okay with whatever he decides to do.
I think that parents are more likely to stereotype boys than girls. For instance, if I had a little girl, I would probably put her in blue jeans and things like that. I've never considered buying my son a dress or anything lacy and/or flowery.
My son does have a few stuffed animals, but he doesn't have any baby dolls. If he wanted one, we would get it for him, but he's never shown any real interest, so we haven't bought him one. He does have a Barbie book that he likes to look at, though.
@amyann16 (414)
• United States
10 Jun 07
This is an interesting question. And while I would like to say that I don't pigeonhole my son into male stereotypes, I have to admit that I do. I think if I had a daughter I would probably do less of it though, only because I would encourage her to participate in the sports, play with cars, etc (I think this is because I was such a tomboy for many of my childhood years). I also think that even if my husband and me didn't push male stereotypes on our son, he would have gotten these from other places, such as daycare, Tv, other family members etc.
@banta78 (4326)
• India
9 Jun 07
I feel in today's day and age sterotying really doesn't work. I mean today's kids are much better informed, are more adventurous, ready to explore the world out there. I feel they have their own dress sense guys like long hair if it's cool and girls' short hair if they look cool. Today parents are much more liberal and want the best for their kids which means grooming smart kids who can take decisions for themselves as a child may not go for career in medicine or engg. he may opt for arts or hair stylist, painter, photographer. then girls are more into adventuorus sports and boys are leanring to do doesntic chores.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
9 Jun 07
i think to some extent we are all guilty of this. Unless you are Scottish, i cant imagine many parents encouraging a boy to wear a skirt. I think in teen years the devide is determined by group or peer pressure as much as by learnt mores of dress
blessed be
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
9 Jun 07
oh no no no I've never been one to slap those stereotypes on my kids and I quite frankly get really annoyed with ppl who do..especially when as the child gets older they make it clear that they DONT want to be that way but the parents make them anyway....thats not only wrong in my eyes but I also think its damaging really
My kids are free to be who they are in their souls and its always been that way...In fact my son is so not into sports, technology or science and all that crap but rather is into artsy things, writing etc and my daughter cant stand "girlie" things but really used to love wrenchign on the race car with her dad, she loves tech, she loves getting dirty etc etc....
bottomline for me is, so long as my kids are healthy (mentally/emotionally etc) and are happy then thats all that matters...and thats how it should be IMO
@lillake (1630)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I make an effort not to force them into stereotypes, but at the same time not to discourage them from something that may be typical if they enjoy it. They do have a lot of "boy" toys and games, but they also have dolls, dress-up clothes, and other thigns that are seen as "girl" toys. I also make sure we have a lot of genderless fun. So far they haven't fallen ito the "girls can't do that" or "boys don't do that" traps.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
9 Jun 07
I don't agree with the statement about the US & around the world making females have meaningless persuits.
Here in Australia things aren't like that at all.
My daughter wears blue coz she looks good in it! I played sports when i was young & if my daughter wishes to do the same then her Daddy & i will encourage her to do it!
I think this is something that isn't as common as it was maybe 30 years ago - unless you're in a certain culture but here in Oz, you can be whatever you want to be no matter your gender & you can do anything you like too - men & women here are very equal!
My parents allowed me to do just about anything i wanted (unless it was dangerous) so they didn't make choices for me based on the fact i was a girl either.
I think it all depends on how you feel about certain things & what your culture believes in as to what kind of choices you pick for your own children!
I hope that's helpful :)
@shestalou (293)
• Canada
9 Jun 07
I have 4 kids 2 of my girls and 1 boy takes kick boxing, all 3 play soccer and baseball but naturally my boys dont wear pink but my girls wear blue.
