self esteem... confidence... how do u get it?

United States
June 9, 2007 8:27pm CST
this might sound akward or whatever and im sorry if it does but im weird... i go from being cocky and really confident to about 20% confident with myself... i consider myself pretty most of the time.. but i wish i could see myself as pretty all of the time.. ive always pretty much had self esteem issues... anyone have any advice on how to really love myself and not compare myself to others... im not stick thin.. im not fat.. but when i see people smaller than me i just totally feel like im 300+ lbs ya know? even tho im not... any advice?... be gentle.. im sensitive.. thank you
1 person likes this
4 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Jun 07
this is a problem that a lot of women have,I don't know why they feel this way,my daughter in law is the worst yet...She is a pretty girl,but she don't see it..If you see yourself as pretty,then im sure you are pretty..First of all Quit comparing yourself to other women..You need to look it the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are beautiful,regardless of how you feel.Another thing you need to do is accept yourself as you are,and try to understand that no one,and I do mean no one is totally perfect.We all have our flaws and when they are on us we blow them up to be huge,and other people never see what you see..No One is pretty to themselves ALL the time.We all have bad hair days,or we get a zit,no big deal this is life.You are who you are and stop putting so much into your looks.You are so much more than looks..You have a soul,a heart and a personality.Stick thin is not pretty,and 300 lbs is not what you are,you are of average size by the way you talk and that is normal.Having self esteem problems will affect you in every aspect of your life and it will cause you to have flaws.Learn to laugh at yourself..Remember you cannot please everybody,,all you can do is be the best you can be.It appears that you are to wrapped up in the outside appearance,and that is not all that counts.just be yourself,and as i said look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful everyday..if you cannot bring yourself to do that on your bad days,then look in the mirror and say to yourself "I am Fine just like i am...Pay attention to what you wear,wear things that make you feel good about yourself,if you feel pretty ,then you will act pretty..Do not be so sensitive,try to get a tougher skin...These are only a few things that i can tell you..If you are seeing flaws in yourself,just repeat this ,everybody has flaws,no big deal! i do hope this helps...
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
11 Jun 07
I don't know how young or old you are. So the lack of self esteem could have something to do with age. I notice you emphasize external stuff such as pretty and thin. Your best road to good self esteem is personal achievement. Set yourself a goal no matter how small or large and work towards it. When you have achieved a mile stone be proud of it and celebrate it. I don't know where you live but sometimes I watch an American program Judge Judy. She is a tremendously successful woman. One of her favourite sayings is:"Beauty fades but dumb is forever"So follow your dream whatever it is, work towards it and you will become self assured, beautiful on the inside and successful. Go for it!
@yemberzal (301)
• India
10 Jun 07
If you wish to be happy and thankful see the person who are unfortunate and in deprived of something. For example, if you do not have good shoes on ,think about people who do not have foot to put something on.If we are not so wealthy , think about the people who do not get two time meals. Then a person comparing himself to down trodden always remains self confident and in esteem and if he or she start looking the people a little top , they will feel deprived and dejected and will lose self confidence.
• United States
10 Jun 07
When there's a will there's a way, always. Just believe in yourself and you'll gain all the self-esteem and confidence you want.