How do you deal with a child that just won't listen?

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I'm not a very strict mom, and so maybe that's why my child doesn't always listen to me. But, she calls me her best friend, and to me that more than makes up for anything she does. She also says I'm a good Mommy! But, lately, I've noticed that she tunes me out when I'm talking to her. I'm sure she can hear me, but like most kids just doesn't want to hear what I'm saying. I've noticed that she has absolutely no problem hearing me when I'm talking about her favorite DVDs or candy. But, when it comes to things like bedtime or brushing her teeth, she acts like I'm not even in the room. It's more than a little annoying. Maybe she thinks that pretending not to hear me, is the same as not really hearing me. So, if she pretends hard enough not to hear me, then she won't be required to do what I am telling her to do. And, if I was asking something unreasonable, then maybe it would be OK to ignore me. But, some things, like teeth brushing and bedtime are non-negotiable. I'm confused over this issue. I am not going to suddenly start being harsh with her over this situation. Like I said, I'm a very lenient and forgiving mom. I'm not going to lay down unreasonably strict rules. It would just be confusing, since she's only three years old. And, that's not my parenting style. So, how can a parent find a harmonious and reasonable way to communicate with their child and get their cooperation, without being too tough?