How do you deal with a child that just won't listen?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
June 10, 2007 10:24pm CST
I'm not a very strict mom, and so maybe that's why my child doesn't always listen to me. But, she calls me her best friend, and to me that more than makes up for anything she does. She also says I'm a good Mommy! But, lately, I've noticed that she tunes me out when I'm talking to her.
I'm sure she can hear me, but like most kids just doesn't want to hear what I'm saying. I've noticed that she has absolutely no problem hearing me when I'm talking about her favorite DVDs or candy. But, when it comes to things like bedtime or brushing her teeth, she acts like I'm not even in the room. It's more than a little annoying.
Maybe she thinks that pretending not to hear me, is the same as not really hearing me. So, if she pretends hard enough not to hear me, then she won't be required to do what I am telling her to do.
And, if I was asking something unreasonable, then maybe it would be OK to ignore me. But, some things, like teeth brushing and bedtime are non-negotiable.
I'm confused over this issue. I am not going to suddenly start being harsh with her over this situation. Like I said, I'm a very lenient and forgiving mom. I'm not going to lay down unreasonably strict rules. It would just be confusing, since she's only three years old. And, that's not my parenting style.
So, how can a parent find a harmonious and reasonable way to communicate with their child and get their cooperation, without being too tough?
2 people like this
4 responses
@lillake (1630)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Have you read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber ? I've just started reading it myself, but all my friends say it is great. Also here is a great site written by a doctor that has some great tips on talking to kids so they won't tune you out. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061000.asp I swear within a week you'll see a whole new child if you follow this. Good luck!
3 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Lillake, that is a wonderful link....thank you for sharing it with us.....
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4546)
• United States
11 Jun 07
What works with one child will not necessarily work as well with the next, but you should be a parent first, and a friend second. I know that she is only three, but if you do not get her to listen now, things will only get worse as she gets older. Try the link above and hopefully that will help you to get things under control, but if not, you can try other approaches until you find one that works with your child. Good luck.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
11 Jun 07
We have a bedtime ritual...when his room is picked up, pj's on, teeth brushed then a movie or a story together before sleep.....He is 5.....we have been doing this together for quite awhile...my participation seems to calm him down and get him prepared to go to sleep.....
I also checked out the link found in the first response and it is a good one...thank you for posting it.....
There are always going to be times when our children push the issues....I know that you will find a remedy for this situation....after all, you have many years to perfect it with her......best wishes.....
@yemberzal (301)
• India
11 Jun 07
It is not a worrying fact, Man has a complicated nature, Be he child or grown up. We all react different times differently but the age factor in your case is some what surprising . I think when a child exhibits this type of reaction ,the least age might be not less than eight years.





