He has me so mad and I dont know what to do.

United States
June 11, 2007 8:47am CST
My husband has borrowed $40 from my one and only friend. And was supposed to pay her back by Friday. And still has not paid her back and keeps making excuses and lying to her about why he has not paid her back. I hate asking people to barrow money and he knows it. And I am not going to tell her why he has not paid her back he is. I feel like he borrowed the money he will be the one to tell her why he has not paid her back. I feel so bad for this and I fear that I will loose a good friend over $40. What would you do? What should I do?
6 people like this
23 responses
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
11 Jun 07
wow, that is quite a predicament you are in. I hate it for you but i can identify with it. My ex husband used to do stupid things like this all of the time. I hate borrowing money because I have to pay it back and then I still need the money. It is an endless cycle. I would hope that your friend will see that you and he are seperate entities even though you are married. Just tell her to be patient and you guys can work this out. it shouldn't be your responsibility to explain your husbands behavior but unfortunately we end up doing that most times. I hope you don't lose a good friend over money. Money and friends rarely ever mix and I choose not to mix the two together, it almost always causes a problem. Take care and good luck!
2 people like this
• United States
11 Jun 07
I have spoken to her since I posted this and she is not angry with me or him for that matter. She just wanted he to be honest and I made him get on the phone and explain why he has not paid her back. She seems fine with waiting until next Friday. So I guess I was worried for nothing. But I can tell you this he will never borrow money from any of my friends ever again.
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I am so glad everything worked out for the best! I would have expected the same thing regarding the honesty. It is good she is not upset with either of you. Thanks for letting us k now the update!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jun 07
Yeah Im glad too thank you.
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I feel the same way you do. I hate to ask others for anything in fear of ruining a good friendship or in fear of not being able to repay. A good friend won't let you go over $40 and smackthat husband of yours for putting you in this situation (ok maybe not literally, unless you want to) ;) My husband has no shame borrowing from his own friends. BUt he is too embarassed to ask mine. He takes his time in paying them back too. I hate it. It makes it hard to show face. He borrowed $20 for gas from one of my firends once like two years ago, and forgot to pay her back, she brought it up a few weeks later, I had no idea. I was so embarassed. She saw i had no idea and she went and gave my husband a hard time. He got embarassed and paid her back real quick. Myabe you could have yoiur friend give your husband a hard time over it. I know it is an uncomfortable situation. I can symathize with yuo on this one. If it were me, I would apologize for my husband being such an a$$ and being so ashamed I would tell her Iwould pay it back myself as soon as I could. Idon't work,my husband does. I just stay home with the kids. So it might take a bit, but Iwould do it. If I were to lose a friend I don't want there to be any bad blood over money.
• United States
11 Jun 07
We will be just fine. Thank you.
1 person likes this
• China
11 Jun 07
pay the money back yourself,tell your friend the truth and say sorry to her,have a serious talk with you husband about this kind of things.if i were you,i would tell my husband and my friend my feelings.just don't keep them in your heart.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Jun 07
I dont have the money to pay her back myself.
• Canada
11 Jun 07
If I was worried about losing a good friend over this then I would give her back the money and tell her I was sorry and explain to her why my husband didn't return the money . He wouldn't come out looking very good and I would explain that she didn't have to give him money again since he didn't seem to know how to return it when he said he would and didn't even take the time to explain to her why but left it up to me . I wouldn't want to lose my friendship so I would tell her but I see what you are saying as well and you want your husband to except his responsibility . Best of luck !!
2 people like this
• United States
11 Jun 07
I dont have the money to give back to her.
• United States
11 Jun 07
A few things, do you have $40 to pay her back? Also, he definitely should be the one to talk to her. Also, If she is a good friend, you shouldn't have to lose her. She should know that you never lend money that you can't afford to lose.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Jun 07
No I dont have the money to pay her back he has all the money in this house. I was over reacting she was not mad at all. And he has agreed to pay her back by next Friday with interest.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I am like you an don't like to borrow money from other people. I agree that your husband should be the one to explain to your friend about why he isn't paying them back. But if you are concerned about losing your friend then you might want to talk to your friend yourself as well to explain and to apologize. I know that when I loan someone money I don't get mad at them as long as they are honest and upfront with me. I knew when the borrowed the money that they were having problems so I always that I should be understanding about them having a hard time paying the money back.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Jun 07
And that is what my point is all he has to do is be honest with her. I have talked to her and explained my part of this and she is not mad yet. I just asked him to call her and he did and she did not answer so he left her a message to call him back. I just hope we can get past this.
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4786)
• United States
17 Jun 07
Rule in Life: Never, EVER, loan money to family, friends, or relatives. If you give friends money, say it is a gift and you don't want them to pay you back. If you want it back, do not LOAN it to your FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR RELATIVES. There are always problems, the person never pays back, or asks for more. It is a bad cycle to get into. Trust me, I have seen some good relationships turn bad over money. Therefore, don't loan money, give it as a gift, OR don't give money at all. You should return the money as soon as possible. Say you are sorry for your husband not returning it soon enough. You don't want to break your friendship up. Then tell him NEVER EVER TO LOAN MONEY AGAIN TO SOMEONE! There are always problems. Pablo
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
I have figured that out now.
@Sir_bobby88 (8242)
• Singapore
16 Jun 07
Then prehaps you should pay her back and ask her never to lend money to him yea ....
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
Yeah that what I did
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
16 Jun 07
I'd probably pay the $40 myself & then get it back from my husband when he has it - that saves the arguments as well as stopping the risk of you losing a friend over his lack of money! Unless you don't have the money to pay her back but if you do - pay it, let him pay you back coz then it'll all be settled & he'll only have you to answer to then!
• United States
16 Jun 07
She got paid thank you.
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
If you don't want to loose your friend then I think you should pay $40 that your husband borrowed from your friend. Tell your husband not to do it again coz it's not good. If he won't stop doing that stuff then better inform your friend not to let your husband borrow from them.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jun 07
Its over with he pais her today.
• United States
12 Jun 07
Bad problem, there is not much you can do unless you have got $40.00 to pay her back. To keep a friendship there are three thing you never borrow or lend, money, spouse and car/truck they can all end a friendship fast. There is a true saying "Neither a lender or borrower be!"
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Yes I have learned my lesson.
@Kashif_ (85)
• Pakistan
12 Jun 07
pay 40$ from yourselves to her. because and say that its paid by my husband,
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
I dont have any money.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
12 Jun 07
That is a tough one- I don't think I would let my husband borrow money from my friend- I mean I can if I need to-- but I always pay it right back- Why isn't he paying it back? Can you pay it to her to save the friendship-- and then when he pays she can give it to you? What a jerk he is for not telling her the truth and dragging her along- I would talk to her if I was you- you don't want to ruin your friendship-- and then I'd tell her to never let him borrow again!
• United States
12 Jun 07
I dont have any money.
• United States
11 Jun 07
You should just pay the $40 yourself. This is the worst thing to do, but it is better than losing a friend. You should talk to your husband about it.
• United States
11 Jun 07
I would if I had $40 but I dont.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
11 Jun 07
i had a boyfriend (ex) before who loves borrowing money from people. and mind you, he does this to my friends without me knowing. i hate the idea of borrowing money, too just like you. for as long as it's not necessary and i still have something to use, i try to fit in to what i have in my wallet. but my ex seems to be really short in everything! so, i am always put on the spot feeling ashamed realizing that i am the last to know about it. and even at times, friends ask me to pay in behalf of my ex's debt. and i really get annoyed. glad that he's an ex and is out of my life already.. anne by the way, talk to your husband about this one. and make him promise to pay your friend. i am sure he will listen to you... anne
• United States
11 Jun 07
O dont like borrowing money either.
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I would explain to your friend that you wish that he never borrowed the money and you are afraid that he will not pay her back. Also tell her that you hope this does not end the friendship between the two of you. If she is a true friend she will understand and take it as a lesson learned about lending money amongst friends. At least now she will not ever feel like she has to help him out again because she already knows that he lied and didn't keep up with his end of the deal. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jun 07
I think everything has been worked out shortly after I posted this I called her and made him tell her the truth.
@sherryjb (14)
• United States
14 Jun 07
If it was my friend, I would go ahead and pay her back. I would let her know that he did not come through as promised and not to loan him anymore money. I would not risk losing my friend over my husband's stupidity. The reason you should pay your friend back is because you and your husband are as one. I would definitely give her the $40 and would not tell him that I paid her. So when and if he does decide to pay her the $40, she can give it to you.
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I'm like you, I don't like to borrow money. I'd stick with what you said and let him tell her why he hasn't paid her back. If you didn't know he was borrowing it, I would tell my friend and let her know that if he wants to borrow anymore, that you are not responsible and you won't be mad if she doesn't loan it to him.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Jun 07
Hi, Dont feel bad for my response. But it's the fact(in my court). I love my husband very much. I too dont like borrowing but in certain situations, everybody has to borrow. But you are telling that ur husband is not returning her money. I think he is waiting for money from another person or he has to get money from somewhere and it is delaying. and now he has no dare to face ur friend. In such times u hav to giv moral support and suggestions to ur husband, that r useful to him.Also u hav to inform ur frnd to wait for some more time. I think husband is more than friend.
1 person likes this
@anjoks (2084)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
WOw, this is a complicating one u got there. . Have u talked to your husband about these? And were u aware of what he did or u just learned about it after and from your friend? .. I hope u'll be able to work these out soon and you'll be worry-free. Take care. (",)
1 person likes this