Do You Have Family And Friends Who Don't Understand Why You Enjoy myLot?
By someonesmom
@someonesmom (5761)
Canada
June 17, 2007 7:26pm CST
Sadly, I do. After being a member for several months now, I've been met with 'some' opposition. To me, (and countless others), myLot is a wonderful site, for many reasons.
Once I 'found my way around,' I couldn't help talking about it, and sharing my excitement. I even invited some people to sign up, and actually regret this.
I've been given 'strange looks,' when discussing this in person, and have had negative responses on the phone.
I've also been told, that 'a person' can't make 'real' friends on a site like this, and that 'I don't really know who these people are.' This saddens me, as I have 'met' some wonderful people on here, and I don't believe that I'm a really bad judge of character.
From now on, I'm going to be very selective, when it comes to sharing my enthusiasm regarding this, and in talking about the 'friends' I've made.
Has this happened to you?
How has it affected the choices you've made, when it comes to talking about myLot?
10 people like this
25 responses
@totty1969 (1468)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Hello someonesmom,
My wife can't understand why I spend so much time on myLot. She says that I spend the whole day on here.
I usually spend 16-20 hour on here. but I do more than sit in myLot, I run my business on the computer so thats 12 hours. I also check my email, that can be 2-4 hours so throughout the day actual time in myLot is 7-9 hours everyday off and on. She thinks I'm in here all day.
I've met all kinds on good people in here and get all kinds of advice. she don't see that. I also got to the point that I don't talk about it anymore.
Peace, Totty
3 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
Hello totty1969. It's great that you can run a successful online business while enjoying myLot. I also have 'many' other things I do online, such as e-mail, day to day business etc. I even do my grocery shopping, which is of great benefit to me. I agree wholeheartedly about the good people and advice. I've decided too, after my experience, that I'm not going to mention 'this' to anyone else. Thanks for sharing.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
18 Jun 07
Yes I do, I don't bother asking any to come on any more they just are not interested, I had one friend who said what I am doing on here is a waste of a life time, and another one who is desperate for a little cash borrow some money from me, it was only a little but if they had have been doing this for a couple of months they wouldn't have had to borrow from me, these days when they say something to me I always mention the portable DVD player that I bought with my money from here...usually brings the subject to an end.. :)
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I had a friend say that it's a big waste of time too, lilaclady, which I find sad. You're right about the friend regarding the money, and that's a very good way to prove your point, and close the discussion about being here. Thanks for your response.
2 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
6 Jul 07
I have talked about it to quite a few people and the answer is usually " you need to get a life" I love it here and I can tell you here my problems and get help . I have fun and laugh and I get upset for others and I cry , but that is what being a friend is all about , I love it here and I love all my new friends here ( that includes you I hope pal ) I will be here for a long time to come I hope xx
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
7 Jul 07
I'm glad to hear you'll be here for a long time to come.;)xxx
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
6 Jul 07
Hi weemam,
I know some people who have the same attitude that's been expressed to you, so I find it best to say very little now. I find I can share some things here, that I can't otherwise too. I agree with what you've said about friendship, and I consider you to be 'a very good friend here.' I'd sure miss you, if you were to decide to leave. Thanks for your response.
2 people like this
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
8 Jul 07
I have this funny feeling that it looks am the only mylotian in my country, I therefore dont have anybody who knows what am doing when am on my computer-am trying to recruit few, may be many of the will soon come up!
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
10 Jul 07
I think it's great that you're a member of myLot, academic2, and I hope that others from your country will sign up soon. I'm glad that you can do your 'myLotting' without anyone criticizing you for it. Thanks for your response.
@naadia (828)
• India
20 Jun 07
yes me too have some opposition from my mother as well as some of my friends,my mother always advise me why i am alwas online either engaged with mylot or orkut.actually she dont like this at all.once she told my papa to disconnect internet.also some friends told me that it is crazy to engage in front of computer for hours.but i really enjoying this orkutting and mylotting!
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
20 Jun 07
I'm sorry to hear that your parents disapprove, naadia, and hope that you are allowed to keep your internet. Everyone has different interests, and as far as your friends go, they should respect yours. Thanks for sharing.
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
2 Jul 07
I'm sorry to hear this, naadia, but hope you 'continue to enjoy myLot.':)
1 person likes this
@naadia (828)
• India
21 Jun 07
i am not computer geek who sit all day in front of computer.i love to hangout with my friends.my friends too have internet and some uses orkut than me.they disagree with me with mylot,they dont get why i am enjoying this site!so they think that i am crazy!
2 people like this
@ryanphil01 (4182)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
only my partner knows what i am doing here in mylot. she has nothing against me sitting all day long in front of the pc. i explained to her about mylot and she just smiled at me. actually, anything that makes me satisfied makes my partner happy too. she does not feel jealous even when i sleep late at night becasue of mylot provided that i also give her sometime accompanying her to some occasions. i really am enjoying a lot here because of my friends and their discussions.
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
4 Jul 07
I'm glad for you, that your partner doesn't mind your being on myLot ryanphil01. I think it's something that only a certain type of people enjoy, i.e., those who like to write, make 'friends' this way, etc. There are just some, who have no interest whatsoever in this type of site, but that doesn't mean they should 'object' to others being 'on here.' Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@shelagh77 (3643)
•
18 Jun 07
When I was young "pen pals" were all the rage. Just about every schoolchild was encouraged to have a pen pal and I can remember my Father thinking it a very stupid idea in that people tell lies in letters (he thought) and you will never meet them anyway AND it costs a stamp lol.
As I grew older I realised that the world is sort of divided into those who love to have all their relationships either face to face or on the phone and those who enjoy reading a lot and who tend towards the online friendships, so that's the argument about the stamp gone lol.
At the end of the day we are all different and if your friends and family are negative about mylot and your on line life I would keep subjects they are not negative about to discuss with them. They probably have hobbies you wouldn't like to do, also.
I don't think you can be friends with everyone you talk to in a true sense but I do believe you can make friendships with a smaller number of people.
I have personally met about a dozen people I would never have met had it not been for the internet, including my own partner. I have also met a "Myloter" and this was a really lovely day for myself, and the friend who brought her to my home.
Just as in real life you will meet the occasional stinker on line too, so be very careful about giving too much information about yourself until you are absolutely sure the person is as you think they are.
So to sum up, you seem to be an adult, so yes, I would keep my online life strictly to those who are positive about it. My only extra caution would be that should you ever meet someone you know only online you should do so in a busy place such as a cafe and have somebody with you.
If you are not an adult, then yes, you should make sure that somebody adult is aware as to who you chat with online, for your own safety.
Wow! I turned into a windbag for this one.
Let's stop being so serious and I wish you great enjoyment for your on line life :-)
@shelagh77 (3643)
•
19 Jun 07
I think there are two types of pen friend, the person who tells things "warts and all" and the person who invents a new life for themselves in their pen pal world, not deliberately to deceive, but because they are probably never going to meet the person at the other end.
In "The Copper Beech" Maeve Binchy makes good use of this when she has a character writing to someone and pretending they are a girl because they are embarrassed to find that they thought Chris was a man and they don't want Chris to stop writing as they have the same hobbies. The twist is that Chris realises all along that the writer is a boy and they do indeed meet eventually and they do indeed get on well. I also have read Little House on the Prairie and really like that too.
You seem to have the same problem as I have in that we respect that our friends and families have different interests but our friends do not return the favour!
I think you can have several levels of friends on line too. Some do live on Fantasy Island but sometimes it is a nice place to chill.
You will certainly meet some people from on line if you chat with them often enough and as long as you take reasonable safety precautions I am sure you will find real friends too. I have found good and bad.
Sorry about the age bit but sometimes a child can write in a very grown up way and I would never advise a young person to meet up with anyone on their own. Maybe I am too cautious lol.
I do enjoy my on line life and thank you, I think I may be on may way to finding another friend in you.
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
20 Jun 07
Thanks shelagh77,
You're right about the different types of people that can be met online, and I agree too, that some 'actual good friends' can be made. It's always wise to exercise caution, as well. Don't worry about the advice given, as you can't always tell who you're 'talking' to. It's great hearing from you. Have a wonderful day.:)
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
19 Jun 07
I remember pen pals too, shelagh77. I used to have them, and found it very enjoyable. I know people can misrepresent themselves in a letter, and it reminds me of an episode of 'Little House On The Prairie,' where Albert 'fell in love' with his pen pal, and travelled quite a distance to meet her. As it turned out, they'd both 'altered' the truth, and she was in a wheelchair, which he didn't know. This is a 'sweet' example of someone not being who they claim to be. I have many offline friends as well, but have found some 'friends' that I'm really enjoying getting to know 'here.' I guess my enthusiasm for myLot caused me to mention it to some, but I'm not planning on doing that anymore. They do have hobbies that aren't for me, but I do my best to listen politely, when they discuss them, and would never suggest that they're a waste of time. It's wonderful that you met your partner online. There are some friends 'here' that I would really enjoy meeting in person too, if the opportunity ever arose. It'd be hard though, as we're scattered around the globe. There are only a handful that I've communicated with 'more personally,' and I'm 'convinced' that they're who they say they are, as I am also. It's good to meet someone for the first time in a public place, and to take someone with you. There are some, who's homes I wouldn't hesitate to visit though either, if their families were there, in a couple of cases. Rest assured that I'm an adult. I'm the single mom of a daughter (almost 16), but I won't go into detail here. I've cautioned my daughter 'many times' about her online activities. Thanks for your very well thought out response, and your genuine concern. I don't 'view you' as a windbag.:) Enjoy your 'online life,' as well.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Well now that's a shame. I also feel I've "met" a lot of neat sweet kind and great people here on mylot. I tell my wife about the discussions I start and friends start and she has a blast to a point hearing about them. I've told a few A.A. friends and never got the "you're crazy" look or comments. I have and will not ask anyone to sign up under me either. Just how I am.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
It sounds like you've had more understanding from the people you've shared this with, Grandpa Bob. That's great. I've invited 2 people to sign up, and one of them joined almost immediately, and really loves it here also. The 2nd one, can't seem to make up her mind about it, and so I don't really think she's interested. She approached me about it, and is looking for the earnings more than anything. Thanks for sharing, as always.:)
2 people like this
@coolcat123 (4387)
• India
18 Jun 07
Whenever I sit on mylot for earning a few cents but my Brother do not like it as He always sit on the Internet playing games and downloading softwares from the Internet whereas after his playing whenever I sit on mylot my mother scolds me that you should do house work instead of sitting on the computer and wasting your time.I only get few minutes to sit on mylot whenever my father is their in the house and whenever everybody in the house has gone out of the house.
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I'm sorry you find it so hard to get some computer, and myLot time, coolcat123. We just have the one computer too, and I have to give 'equal time' to my daughter, although she doesn't really mind me being on myLot. She understands that these types of forums can be fun. Thanks for your response.
That's a good idea you have about the 'tie,' Transdisc.:)
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I have not had that unfortuate experience yet. My husband even reads some of the discussions and ends up laugh as hard as I do at some of them.
Now some of my friends here probably think I'm nuts but that's alright I don't mind
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I'm glad that no one has said anything negative to you, mfpsassy. It's great that your husband doesn't mind you spending time here too. I'm beginning to think that some of my 'friends' here will think I'm nuts too, however, I find that this is a good place 'to get away from it all.' Actually, I can joke around with some 'friends' on here, more than I can with those in my 'offline' life. This is quite unfortunate, come to think of it. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
19 Jun 07
Thanks, mfpsassy, that's good to know, and I take what you've said, as a compliment.:)
1 person likes this
@lani0529 (1722)
• Philippines
8 Jul 07
Hello someonesmom!(",)
My mother said its just a waste of time. My older sis said, " it's a waste of time just to earn small amount of money." I said, " I don't care, as long as I'm happy here in mylot and that's what matter." I have some friends here who are really nice and who listen to my opinions and views. It's not about the money but the satisfaction I get from being here. Although, how hectic my work is, I can still manage to drp by this site and share my views.
I also told my friends about this site, some did sign up but they are inactive.
Well, I think, its not their interest at all. Just don't mind those people who have negative views about this site.
Have a great day!
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
10 Jul 07
It's really too bad when our family and friends are critical of the time we spend 'here,' lani0529. I feel the same as you, that I can share my thoughts, and make some great friends too, and 'be heard.' I'll try to not take those who criticize a site like this too seriously, and you have a great day too. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
18 Jun 07
Yes but they aren't into computers in any way! I have a couple of friends who like mylot and totally understand - my other half isn't in to it either but he doesn't complain too much! lol I am sorry you had a bad experience, hopefully it won't happen again!
Hugs xxxxx
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
Thanks for your support, mummymo. One of the people, isn't into computers really, but the other one 'is.' I do have the one person though, as previously mentioned, who I introduced to 'this,' and they love it here. I've realized I just have to be careful in what I say.xxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
18 Jun 07
Well someonesmom I have 2 friends I knew before mylot on here and quite a few I have made through mylot! My friends who come on here know me well and I am lucky that I very rarely have to moderate what I say because they are here! They know me too well for me to pretend I am someone else! lol Even my other half and my kids ask how so and so is doing or who I have been talking to today! xxxx
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
19 Jun 07
To clarify, mummymo, I mean, I have to be careful of what I say, offline, about myLot, to those who wouldn't understand ... which seems to be a lot of people, in my case.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Well, yes and no. My husband gets this 'how cute' look on his face when I tell him I actually make money for meeting people. But I don't really talk about it to anyone else. I know a lot of mom's from other sites that I visit and I just don't really want them on here when I talk to them already on other sites. I think it is fun to have myLot friends separate from the friends I talk with often. I'm not sure why.
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
20 Jun 07
I actually know about the 'how cute' look too, makingpots. If people don't express how 'weird' they think it is, then I've also gotten 'that look.' I can understand why you like keeping your 'myLotting' separate from your involvement in other sites as well. Sometimes, it's hard to be yourself, when you get others involved, as they may not understand where you're coming from. Thanks for your response.:)
1 person likes this
@brendakaya (2332)
• United States
19 Jul 07
My husband makes fun of me for being on here, and says it's a waste of time, but I love this site. Maybe I'll never meet the people that I'm talking to, but I still feel pretty close to some of them, so I don't care what he thinks.
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
25 Jul 07
I'm sorry to hear that your husband makes fun of you, brendakaya. I agree with you, about getting to know certain people and regarding them as actual friends, and I do believe this is possible, as it's my experience on here too. I trust you'll continue enjoying myLot, and thanks for your response.
@brendakaya (2332)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I hope to be on here for a long, long time. Take care.
1 person likes this
@krislouiebaby (2347)
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
fortunately none, my husband is so happy for me, he did see that i am enjoying mylot so much .and at the end of the month i also accept payment from mylot and that what makes him happy too.
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
20 Jun 07
I'm glad you have so much support from your husband, krislouiebaby, and that he really approves of the time you spend on myLot. 'Even' this type of support can make a very positive difference. The pay is a nice 'extra bonus' of our time spent here. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@twils2 (1812)
• United States
18 Jun 07
Honestly I havent really tried to get my offline friends to join Mylot although I do let them know that I spend a fair amount of time on a message board. When talking to my wife she dosent understand why I like spending so much time on here either but she enjoy's some of the jokes and storiesn that I read to her from here. I guess I dont talk about it to much because I share some things here that I dont really share with my friends offline. If they did join up I'm not sure I would want them to know who I am. lol. Take care, Terry
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I like the way you put it, when you say 'offline friends,' twils2. This indicates to me, that you agree that you 'can' actually make 'online friends.' I share some of those type of things here too, and I have one 'friend' on here, that I do know offline, and we both find this to be the case. I have thought of what you've mentioned too, as far as, if some of my offline friends joined, it may inhibit me from being myself on here. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I'm wondering why 'you' think you're crazy Hitmen? I've found it to be a challenge on 'here' too, but see it as a worthwhile one. It started out for me to be a way to earn a bit of extra income, but it's gone way beyond this for me now, as I've made some good 'friends' here. I'm glad you have the support of friends from another site. Welcome to myLot, and thanks for sharing.
@luckly888 (175)
• China
18 Jun 07
I don't tell anyone.And i just do it,if i love it.So don't be sad.
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
I'll do my best to take your 'good' advice, luckly888. We should be able to enjoy things like 'this,' and not feel guilty, as it's our decision. I'll try to cheer up, and not take what was said to heart, as I'm sure it really wasn't intentional. Thanks for your response.
@harikrishnarao (42)
• India
18 Jun 07
It is an individual interest and we cannot force any one
to mylot.
LIFE IS FULL OF CHALLENGES. TO EDUCATE YOURSELF
VISIT
http://harikrishnarao.co.nr/
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
19 Jun 07
I agree that joining a forum such as this, is an individual decision, harikrishnarao. It just saddens me to hear someone being critical about 'this,' even though they don't have any experience with it. Thanks for your response, and welcome to myLot.
@feedyourmind (150)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
yeah i tried to invite my friends too but they refuse to join. we're in same situation, so next time i wont tell them any other opportunities. ill take it by myself. and if i ll be a successfull on the net i can tell to them, they just refuse to be rich. lol
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
19 Jun 07
That's a good way to look at things, feedyourmind. I think I'm going to be handling 'this' the same way from now on too. I'm sure they'd 'sit up and take notice,' if you achieve success online. Thanks for your response.
