Do you want people to correct you?

@Kythe42 (1412)
United States
June 23, 2007 11:30am CST
So long as people do it in a respectful manner, I would want them to tell me if I'm not doing something correctly. There I no way I can fix what I am doing wrong if people don't tell me about it, and then I just keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I've actually had the same thing happen to me. At a temp job I was doing, I was supposed to be made a full employee eventually. Then they just come out and said that I was doing a terrible job and that they had nothing left for me to do and I should go home. If they had told me what I was doing wrong when it first started happening, I could've fixed it. They let it drag out for months without bothering to talk to me about it. A similar thing happened with a group of friends. I was friends with them for nearly a year and then one day they had a sit down with me, sort of like an intervention. They all told me all the things that they didn't like about me and what behaviors I did that they thought I should change. I was so shocked because no one ever said anything about it before and some of the things they brought up happened several months prior to that. I had thought these people liked me the way I was and if I had known they weren't going to accept me as I was, then I wouldn't have invested so much time into those friendships. Maybe if they had talked to me when they first had concerns I could've made an effort to change some things. When they did finally talk to me, there were so many things about me that they wanted me to change, that I didn't think it was worth it and I wouldn't have been me anymore if I had made all the changes they wanted me to make.
2 people like this
4 responses
@2wicelot (2945)
23 Jun 07
I actually don't mind getting a little correction now then from people. I think it worse when they let you go on doing something totally wrong or something totally inappropriate or unacceptable. It would always be nice if some one can point it out. But then it would be nicer if they can do it in a very polite manner as well.
1 person likes this
@Kythe42 (1412)
• United States
23 Jun 07
Yes, how you say it is the key. If you try to correct someone in a rude and nasty manner then it will not go over well. The person is going to be much more accepting of the advice if you do it in a polite and respectful manner.
2 people like this
@2wicelot (2945)
23 Jun 07
Exactly. It should be done in a very nice way so as not to offend the person being corrected. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jun 07
I think it is okay to correct someone if it is something that really is going to make a difference in their (and your) lives. Also, there is a "way" to say something. I really can't believe your friends. It sounds as if they almost ganged up on you. They must have been discussing you for awhile. True friends accept people for who they are warts and all. I hope you have found some.
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@Kythe42 (1412)
• United States
23 Jun 07
Yea I think they had been talking about me behind my back. I wish they had just come to me when they had a problem instead of letting it fester like that. Some of the things they mentioned, I would've been willing to work on, but other things I wasn't. So I ended up leaving their group. It was just such a sad thing because they were the only friends I had that weren't on the internet.
1 person likes this
@rangics (1335)
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
Why not?. I'ts a good way to check how well is your relationship with other individuals. I don't take it ( the encounter ) personally. Good approach deserves a good response right?. It helps you grow as person too. ;)
@Kythe42 (1412)
• United States
23 Jun 07
I don't take it personally either if someone is trying to show me what I did wrong. With the thing that happened with my temp job that I mentioned, when they finally told me that I was doing things wrong, I asked them to explain to me exactly what I was doing wrong. They refused to talk to me about it any further and said I was being defensive. Weird communication breakdown there I think.
1 person likes this
• China
23 Jun 07
No matter how hard we try,we make mistakes occasionally.It's necessary that others point out our mistakes.
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@Kythe42 (1412)
• United States
23 Jun 07
Yes, because if people don't tell us our mistakes, then we'll just keep making the same ones over and over again.
1 person likes this