The Power Of Commitment
By villageanne
@villageanne (8553)
United States
June 23, 2007 9:41pm CST
No doubt we want to be happy and loved. We want that perfect relationship that will give us the happiness that we so desparatly seek. If this is the case, why are there so many failed marriages and broken homes? I have often wondered this when I see a young couple give up on their marriage only after a few years. Why do many give up so easily?
I am one of the lucky ones. I married my best friend. We have been married for nearly 29 years now. I cant say that we have never had a fight as that would be untrue. I can say that we have worked through our disagreements and became stronger from them. It has not always been easy. We had our ups and downs. We are two individuals trying to be happy, just like any other couple.
Yes, I am fortunate. I found my best friend in my husband. We share and care for each other no matter what happens in the world. No matter how tough life gets, we each know that the other will be there to support each other. We are stronger as a result of that knowledge.
I found that one of the keys to our marriage is that we were and are committed to each other and to our marriage. Our marriage as well as our family is our number one priority. If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationships from a strong one.
I have heard many young couples say “Well if it does not work, we can always get a divorce”. I just think to myself “This marriage don’t stand a chance with that attitude”. There are times when marriage’s don’t last as a result of abuse. That just breaks my heart that anyone can abuse someone that they say they love but it happens.
Do you think commitment has anything to do with marriage?
Do you think it can make all the difference when times get hard in a marriage?
Do you think marriage is worth fighting for when hard times come around?
5 people like this
19 responses
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I think that commitment has everything to do with marriage. I think that everything that you have said is true. I do have something to add however. I think that commitment has to come from both people. If you are the only one commited to the relationship it is not going to work out. If you are the only one fighting for the relationship what is the point? I have found myself in this situation. I am tired of being the only one that cares. I have tried talking but why talk when no one is listening?
1 person likes this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
25 Jun 07
Most certainly I believe that commitment is an essential ingredient in a successful marriage. Some people marry for passion or for wealth or other reasons, reasons like these will fade and when this happens, if there is a lack of commitment from either party the marriage is in trouble.
Commitment doesn't mean that you will stick it out no matter what, just that you will give it your very best shot at all times.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 07
Yes Commitment is a big part of a Marriage and that is where my Ex Husband lacked a lot in
It does make a Difference in hard times but only if you are both committed and not just one
I fought for a long time for my Marriage all of 21 years but I was the only one fighting so it did not work
But not just in marriage is it important
It also important when you are in a Relationship or the Relationship will not work
@cblackink (969)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I'm so happy for you that you have your best friend and your partner all in one person. That's a real blessing. I think that commitment is something a person decides upon. And commitment extends beyond marriage to other areas of ones life. I don't know if it's something our parents teach us or something some of us are born with. Yes, I do think it makes all the difference in the world when hard times hit. I think sometimes though people make bad choices to begin with. Marrying someone who ISN'T your best friend is mistake number one.
1 person likes this
@sweetmimzim3 (261)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I have always said in order for any relationship or committment to workout...whether it be family, friends, marriage there has to be healthy communication. I don't think enough people know how to constructively discuss their feelings. You see alot of mental games...dances around the issues, fights that come about over something quite mundane. It all boils down to the inability to properly communicate. I have said this before and I'll say it again. I wish it was manditory for high school students to take a course in communication. I truly think it would benefit all...every relationship you have with whomever you come in contact with. It could mean world peace...haha...like that would ever happen...?
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I am blessed too. I will be married 30 years in two days. I believe that friendship, respect, and communitcation, along with commitment is very important to have a good marriage. I do think that a marrige is important, and worth working on during hard and easy times. We just need to take the vows more serious, instead of leaving when things start to sour. It takes work constantly to keep a marriage healthy and alive and happy.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I do think marriage is worth fighting for when the hard times roll around. And they always do. There is always good times in a marriage and the bad. But the key to a great marriage is to always bend for the other person. Never give up always try to work things out.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
24 Jun 07
When divorce is used before marriage then they should not get married. Being committed is a grand thing. We committ to a job. We comit to being parents. We commit to the local social group when there are scheduled meetings. Our comittment to our marriage is an awesome thing that gives us a built in support system. It is a good thing to have someone that wants the best for you. Hopefully you want the best in return. During hard times it can be you two against the world. I think it much better than going it alone. Interesting discussion and one that I mighe even learn a little bit of something.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I am in totol agreement with you! People do give up so easily with their relationships.I don't think couples now a days know what the meaning committment means.Almost as soon as they start arguing,they want to break up or divorce.Relationships are worth fighting for whether it is a marriage or otherwise. I think the problem is that technology is making things easier for us and it's making people lazy.They don't want everything easy and problems to to work out themselves and that's not the way it goes.Good topic ,my friend
1 person likes this
@songbirdnaimh (1422)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I think people want an immediate fix...immediate happiness. They get that in the beginning of a relationship, but when things get stale or "boring" or there is a problem they want that burst of happiness again.
I think this is something that is more appropos to current times. When you think back to past centuries or even 30 years ago, people didn't expect as much instant gratification. They expected to work for things, wait for things. They knew they couldn't always get what they wanted, just when they wanted it. And now it's also translating into relationships. I think as years advance, people are also becoming more selfish, too.
It worries me to think about the future. Interesting topic....thought provoking.
1 person likes this
@songbirdnaimh (1422)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I think people want an immediate fix...immediate happiness. They get that in the beginning of a relationship, but when things get stale or "boring" or there is a problem they want that burst of happiness again.
I think this is something that is more appropos to current times. When you think back to past centuries or even 30 years ago, people didn't expect as much instant gratification. They expected to work for things, wait for things. They knew they couldn't always get what they wanted, just when they wanted it. And now it's also translating into relationships. I think as years advance, people are also becoming more selfish, too.
It worries me to think about the future. Interesting topic....thought provoking.
1 person likes this
@minijumbuk (514)
• Australia
24 Jun 07
I agree with you very much so!
The world these days are not like it was before... people now have different thinking. So many cases of divorce and children without parents who look after them. i think this is largely because their marriage was without thought to whether they really do love each other. the only find that they cannot stand to be with each other after they are married and what do you know... they have a baby between them and because of their poor decision, the child has to live in a broken up family.
And yes i do think that commitment is very important in a relationship, however, i think that deep thought BEFORE marriage as to whether or not you will be happy to live with your partner for the rest of your life is even more important! Yes you should fight to keep a marriage/relationship, but it should not be a one sided thing, if one partner is constantly trying to save the relationship between the two and the other does nothing to try, there is no meaning in the relationship anymore!
hard times during a marriage is a must and everyone will go thought that stage, and yes it does strengthen the marriage, however excessive arguments could lead to a deterioration of the relationship
1 person likes this
@minijumbuk (514)
• Australia
24 Jun 07
I agree with you very much so!
The world these days are not like it was before... people now have different thinking. So many cases of divorce and children without parents who look after them. I think this is largely because their marriage was without thought to whether they really do love each other. The only find that they cannot stand to be with each other after they are married and what do you know... they have a baby between them and because of their poor decisions, the child has to live in a broken up family.
And Yes i do think that commitment is very important in a relationship, however, i think that deep thought BEFORE marriage as to whether or not you will be happy to live with your partner for the rest of your life is even more important! Yes you should fight to keep a marriage/relationship, but it should not be a one sided thing, if one partner is constantly trying to save the relationship between the two and the other does nothing to try, there is no meaning in the relationship anymore!
hard times during a marriage is a must and everyone will go thought that stage, and yes it does strengthen the marriage, however excessive arguments could lead to a deterioration of the relationship
1 person likes this
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
24 Jun 07
Count me in as one of the lucky ones. Or one of the ones that was determined to make things work. It was not always easy raising 5 boys. But somehow we managed and we are closer than ever. I like to think that we were a good example to our children. I hope that they learned from our marriage. How to treat a spouse, how to fight fair, how to be loving, how to agree, how to share, etc etc. I'm glad we had the love and committment to stick it out throught the hard times. I love my husband more than I did 26 years ago and I intend to keep loving him for many more years to come.
1 person likes this
@bigpinkmomma (449)
• Canada
24 Jun 07
Great topic ,great discussion . I firmly believe that commitment has everything to do with marriage. It you do not have any intention of making a commitment and keeping it , then you might as well not get married.It is bound to fail . My husband and I are committed to God and then to each other. Because of our commitment to our marriage there is not escape clause in it . We have committed our selves to find a solution to our problems , Yes , if we didn't have any commitment our marriage would have been over a long time ago, our commitment has allowed us to weather many a storm .When times get tough of course my marriage is worth fighting for . We are secure in our marriage because of our commitment to each other. I never have to worry about him leaving , he is here to stay.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I think commitment has everything to do with marriage and any other relationship - if one is commited and the other not it isn't going to be a happy relationship. Also as you said when the times get rough without committment from both there is nothing to fall back on for support and strength. I envy you and the marriage you have - I will admit that someday I will meet someone who I can share what you have with your husband but I know he will have to be totally committed to the relationship.
1 person likes this
@monkeywriter (2004)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Truly I think its those who think marriage is a piece of cake and not something to work at. You dont fall into love and fall out. You stay in love. And people dont get that. Those who work at it make it work.
Btw you are married as long as my parents :)) They celebrate 29 yrs on the 5th of August. I have to recall it this way: they are married one year longer than my age. They used to tease it was like same age. Like I'm turning 28 end of this year and they are married 29. They used to tease when I was turning 20 they were like we've been married 20 yrs. Ah stop it! ;) we dont believe in that kinda stuff but its funny! :))
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Hi Villageanne. I wouldn't of married my husband if I was not committed to him. I think commitment has everything to do with marriage. If neither of us were committed then its unlikely our marriage would work or last, nor would we take it seriously when we stumbled along the way.
I have only been married six years and have known my husband for eight years and not only have we learnt so much from each other, we have grown to know each other more deeply and no one knows me like he does and vice versa. Our number one priority is with each other and our children and it will remain that way always. As long as we are committed, supportive, willing to go the extra mile for each other, learn to "agree to disagree", while in the process having much love for each other, then our marriage will survive :)
1 person likes this
