Should we allow teenager girls to chat online ?

India
June 24, 2007 10:46am CST
I have a little sister,aged 14, who is fond of chatting online with strangers. I fear that she gets in acquaintance with bad boys who talk sexy things with her, as she is not that mature now, and such things shouldnt be in her mind. I am aware of the good things internet can offer her, but along with that, internet also offers exposure to lot of adult material which is not good for teenagers. Now i have stated worrying about it, and she is demanding a yahoo messenger id. What should i do?
6 people like this
20 responses
@deebomb (15315)
• United States
24 Jun 07
If you are concered about your sister being on the interent you can put controls on to keep her from different areas. I don;t really know a lot about them except that they are there. That way she can get the benafit of the internet. also you might be surpeized at what your little sister already knows from her school frieds and so on.
2 people like this
@deebomb (15315)
• United States
25 Jun 07
Then If I were You I would look at hte internet controls that are avaiable
1 person likes this
• India
21 Oct 07
now this is a practical solutions.. thanks for responding
@ebenjie (440)
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
yeah your right,it can happen..they may allow but with parental guidance maybe.
2 people like this
• India
25 Jun 07
yes i was thinking the same. May be i allow her to chat only when her parents or me are besides her, that will be a good way.
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
You should restrict the sites that can be viewed by her. The internet is a powerful tool. Your sister might not know the bad things in the internet yet but as time passes by, she eventually will. It's ok to give her a Yahoo Messenger ID. Friends should be filtered though.
2 people like this
• India
24 Jun 07
yes. I have to find a golden mean between. I should allow her to talk only to friends she already knows and whom her parents know, not to starnagers, that will be fine ?
@liyufan (61)
• China
25 Jun 07
it is difficult to slove. in our china children are not allowed to play the computer game for too long time . and the children also should defer to their parents.i think you should teach her patiently.and let her know the bad she do so to her health . have a good luck
1 person likes this
• India
25 Jun 07
Thanks. But i dont want to restrict her. She should get all goodies which internet offers.
@yemberzal (301)
• India
24 Jun 07
Of course ,satin is always there to show bad path and when man and woman get together face to face or via internet , satin does the work, He overpowers their goodness and involves them in dirty games , hence there must be least interaction of men and women , father, mother, brother, sister, are exception, otherwise a time will come , teenagers will be mothers of unwanted children. It is true for all times and ages. There are cases when father daughter relations do not stop them to go for adultery,You must take good care and do all what you can do .
1 person likes this
• India
24 Jun 07
As i am from india, the culture has a lot of restrictions, but the thing im worried about is just because of her small age. Ofcourse after a particular age things should be known even to girls. But in this particular age we should be more concerned about her.
@freak369 (5122)
• United States
24 Jun 07
If you are going to restrict access to girls then you should do the same for boys. If you don't who exactly do you think teen boys will be chatting with?
1 person likes this
• India
21 Oct 07
girls are emotionaly sensitive and not like boys, also they are targets for their face and figure, everyone agrees to this that we pay more attention towards girls as compared to boys.. isnt it?
@lisado (1228)
• United States
24 Jun 07
If you try to keep her from the internet that will probably make her more likely to sneak around and do it without permission. How do your parents feel about her chatting online? I would probably just use some parental software so the websites she can view are restricted. I'd also not let her have a computer in her room. She'd need to be in the front room where she can be watched. She is less likely to talk about things that she shouldn't if she knows anyone can see what she is doing. At 14 years old she isn't entitled to "privacy". She has to earn it.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
25 Jun 07
Well the world of internet is very huge and vast and there are indeed dangers out there that many people specially youngsters are not aware of. Now interacting with strangers is a common thing these days and that is the sole purpose of websites that offer chatting but what many people do not know is that they are some sickos out there that can use any knowledge or opportunity for that matter to hurt them. I think that you should have a long talk with your daughter and explain her your views as that can avoid a lot of misundertsandings as well as give your daughter a bit of the know how of chatting with strangers. If you explain her everything clearly, you can certainly make her a yahoo messenger account and you can log in with her ID and check out her online acquaintances. Refusing her for the ID will just get her frustrated even enough to rebel and get an account made by some friends that can would be unhealty if you are unaware of it. So I guess it is about time you let her in on the world of internet after explaining her everything and if you think she is stepping out of the line then you can always change the password or delete her account. Hope this helps you out.
• India
25 Jun 07
Hey vampire that was awesome reply, i feel the best uptill now. Yes i am thinking of opening her an account. I also dont want to restrict her as internet offers a lot of good things.
• Pakistan
25 Jun 07
I am just glad that you like my response :) True the internet offers some really educational and other helpfull stuff and restricting her would indeed be unfair, So go ahead and do have your talk :)
1 person likes this
• India
25 Jun 07
i think i should have a talk with her. ANd yes she understands me, there is a good understanding between us and we are free with eachother, i can surely talk with her about this matter. Thanks a lot for your responses.
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
Yes! internet do have a lot of very good things to offer espacially knowledge... But the disadvantages are there also, we have heard lots of stories regarding women or mostly teenagers whom doesn't really know the round abouts of chatting and eventually blind dating . And then ends up being taken, more over being harrassed... What we dont know is on how to control teens from blind dating... But since you are an older sister, i think you should set an example on your younger sib and let her know that the best person to chat with are only personal friends...
@ajithlal (14616)
• India
29 Dec 07
I think there should be some restrictions in allowing the young kids to chat in the net. I had been using a cybercafe near a girl's school before I got internet around three to four years before. I had seen school girls cutting classes and coming to the cyber cafe. These kids used to look into mature content as they were seperate cabins for each computer and they used to chat through yahoo chats with the boys. These were just school kids and they were looking at the mature contents and yahoo chats at this younger age. Finally, there came complaints that kids were cutting classes the the cyber cafe made rule that children under 18 years would be allowed to browse only with their parents consent. Also, they put some software to restrict the mature content while children are browsing. I think you should explain to her all the dangerous things in the net and also should tell about browsing in the yahoo chat. Before there were a group professional groups who were after the young girls and boys. They uses webcamas and most time boys looking like models or film actors or who were handsome were used for chatting and they were very good at getting young kids especially school children. They used to chat for couple of weeks and then they would ask the girls to meet and they would take children and molest them. Most children who had problematic parents were easy to get. Recently, some organizations have come across and was able to put the cyber crimes to stop to some extend. I think most parents should know what their children are doing in the net. One way is to put some software, which records all the things their child chats. Another way is to explain to their children the outcome of the chatting in yahoo rooms especially with strangers and about the dirty chats.
• China
23 Oct 07
i think it is common to chat online. she is 14,old enough to know what she are doing. of course you are right to be concerned about that she spend too much time in chating online.
• United States
16 Sep 07
im 18 i dont kno how old you are but if she wants an ID get one of those programs that saves IM that she has sent out you can read them keep the computer where you can see it at all times if she has a cell phone ask the compant provider of serivce to mail u a print out of her texts messege and phone calls if she gets a myspace check her myspace profile weekly read comments, check friends etc...
@swatig (1187)
• India
4 Jul 07
You should not resist her but instead monitor her while she chat and try to divert her attention towards good side of internet slowly and slowly, keeping the view of her teen age. dnt try to put things in a day only because in that case you may have to face resist from her side also so better cauious and once she know the good side of internet, im sure she put her energy on good side only as girls understand fast what is good for him and what is not.
@meljessxena (2316)
• Australia
25 Jun 07
i think you could give her the yahoo msn, but say only people you actually know like from school or family, and say that she isnt allowed to chat using chat rooms, etc that what my parents rules for me using the net at such a young age and i would been about same age as your sister may even been 12 and 13.
• Taiwan
25 Jun 07
We have the same problem! I younger sister was like your sis too. Chat room is a place to meet new friends, however, some people don't use it in right way. My sister was talking to people whom are not very good. During that time, I decided to have a long talk to her, told her the meaning of relationship and the things she's interesting. I think that's beacuse people are interesting on the unknown stuff. So why don't you talk to her, maybe you can understand more about her.
@parihar (11)
• India
25 Jun 07
you should one thing you can give him suggestion that this is not a right thing , give him more time and suggest them about good use of internet
@kareng (31614)
• United States
25 Jun 07
You have every right to be concerned. There is a lot of danger on the internet via chatting that could lead your little sister into being mislead into a situation that she is not ready for. I would restrict internet chatting by either being in the room with her when she chats or by installing some software to refuse the connections for chatting programs.
@Calais (10898)
• Australia
24 Jun 07
I would be very wary, I, myself wouldnt let my daughter do that. Its not trustworthy and there are too many predators out there. She might get caught up in the moment and give an address or something, its easily done.
• Canada
24 Jun 07
I'd be very careful with the amount of access your little sister gets to online chatting. Chatting with friends and people that she knows is one thing. I would severely limit chatting with strangers, even though it's probably a minority of chatters who are dangerous. You mention that she is not that mature at the moment - all the more reason for caution.
• Canada
24 Jun 07
I have no problem with my teenagers chatting online but they are only allowed to chat with people that they know and are not allowed to talk to anyone they don't know persoanlly . If they want to chat with family or friends this is fine but I don't feel they need to talk to others they don't know . The internet is way to easy to fool others into believing that you can trust someone you don't know and teenagers are so impressionable that you don't know what you could be letting into their lives . The way I do it with my teenagers is that they are allowed to chat online but they have to have the feature on that keeps all their discussions so that either my husband can go back and read at anytime if we feel the need to . They understand that if there is something they don't want us to know then they shouldn't say it online because we can go back and read it . They also realize that if they are caught talking to anyone they don't know then they lose all privileges with the internet and the only reason we do this is because it is too easy for a child to get hurt by listening to what others that don't know them and it is too easy for perverts to chat online with them and I am not willing to take a chance with any of this . I don't want to find out that if I had been more involved my child might not be hurt . I don't invade their rooms and they do have their own privacy , it is only on the internet that I want to know what is going on at all times . Best of luck in whatever you decide to do !!