Stretching the truth about pregnancy, birth pains

@stacyv81 (5903)
United States
June 25, 2007 10:20am CST
How come when people are pregnant and ask people what contractions, labor, etc feel like people are prone to give an answer like, oh it didnt hurt that bad, or oh no big deal. IT HURTS! I had two babies, one with an epidural and one without, it hurts, contractions, labor, it hurts! I found it disheartening that so many people told me unpainful it would be when I had my first, (with an epidural) it was painful and I was angry that people had lied to me. THey said later they didnt want to scare me, I dont think it would've scared me as much as prepared me. The second time, at least I actually knew what to expect. Does anyone else wish someone would've been more honest with them? When I was at the hospital with my mom, a nurse said, oh when are you due, I told her she said, oh, it is going to hurt! I appreciated that, because someone was finally honest with me about it. What about you? Do you like when people stretch the truth to make you feel better? Or do you want it all on the table like me?
11 people like this
30 responses
@gabesmom (1246)
• United States
25 Jun 07
Every woman has a different threshold for pain. I know some women who would give birth and then be walking around like nothing happened after several hours. It is also difficult to describe how much pain you feel. But for me, it was the worst pain I have experienced in my life. I had to go to labor for thirteen hours before my obstetrician decided to do a Caesarian section. I was the morphine drip to relieve the pain but it did not really help. The good thing is that we remember being in pain but not the pain itself. And seeing the baby's face just makes things better.
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
well, I was walking around like nothing happened a couple of hours after having my second, (without epidural. I meant more of the pain of the contractions, I realize people have different thresholds of pain, but these people admitted to lying to me to make me feel better and not scare me. I think they should've been honest. I remember the pain specifically. I remember every bit of it. IT was horrible for me.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jun 07
hm i dont think people ever really said anything about labor hurting to me.. its almost like common sence. when they were checking me for dialation, people would tell me no it doesnt hurt, the mid wife told me it didnt hurt.. well YES it hurt, it hurt BAD! lol i was like you, i was mad that they told me it didnt hunt, just to make me feel better.
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I know, they seem to try to not scare you but you are asking people because you want to be prepared, but they always tell you it didnt hurt. I was mad too. about that.
2 people like this
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
25 Jun 07
Did you ever consider the fact that some of us have had far worse pains than labour, or that really, our pain receptors are not as sensitive as yours. I had 3 kids, naturally, and the pain wasn't as bad as kidney stones or a broken ankle. in fact, it was only uncomfortable, sort of like bad diarrhea cramps, until the pushing stage. I guess some of us just aren't wusses and have had worse pain.
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
look, I am really tired of you attacking me in everything! IF you are that grumpy, or that miserable just leave me alone, what is the sense in following me and being a smart a$$? Get a life honey....move on!
3 people like this
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
25 Jun 07
that's not right judyt00 just b/c u have a higher tolerance for pain than others does not give u the right to call others wusses.
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
yea its funny, because my labor without an epidural was better than my own with one, so calling me a wuss wouldnt really be correct anyway...The one that was the most painful was the one with the epidural, so you really make no sense with what you say Judy...
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I would prefer to know the truth so I could be prepared but I also think that sometimes the truth can be alittle too hard to handle and actually make it worse. Had I been told that labor would be a horrible,painful, excruciating experience I probably would have been more scared than I needed to be. As it is I can honestly say that labor ISN'T always very painful or hard. With the exception of one I have had very easy labors and deliveries. If someone askes me if labor is painful I will be truthful and say that I have never had an epidural and with that one exception never neededone. With my last I even labored comfortably at home for all but the last 1 1/2 hours...45 minutes to drive to the hospital and 45 minutes to get set up in my room, then devivered my son without pushing.
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
25 Jun 07
LOL, nope no pushing. He just came out when he was ready! If you've seen the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen" there's a part where the mom says that after so many babies they pretty much walk out...well that's not a big stretch of the truth. He was number 6 for me.
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
my guys mom said he just flew out, the doc told her to stop pushing and she said "I'm not" but he was coming anyway. It was her second. I think that would be great! I had two push for 30 min the first time and two or three the second time, which I guess really isnt that bad. But thats awesome! =)
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
wow, without pushing? Sounds great! That to me was the most painful part of both, epidural or not! Good for you... See, my coping skill is that I try to expect the complete worse, that way it is usually not as bad as I expect It works for me So, If I think it will be ok, and it is bad, then it is harder for me, does that make sense? I dont know just my coping skill I guess =)
1 person likes this
@cynddvs (2948)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I'm like you. When I was pregnant I wanted to know the good, the bad, and the ugly facts about pregnancy, labor and childbirth. I went through a childbirthing class, which helped a lot. I got to learn what to do to handle the pain and the facts about what I would be going through during labor. I had a natural childbirth with my daughter. While it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, yes it was still painful. And I make sure to tell everyone that when they ask. Of course anyone in my entire family could tell you I was in pain since they were in the waiting room down the hall hearing my screams lol. When my little sister came in to see me after I delivered my daughter she was in tears thinking I was dying. She was only 12 at the time and my mom said I just gave her the best form of birth control she will ever need lol.
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
yes I was surprised I had my first with an epidural and my second without and I was surprised in that m first was more uncomfortable...It really wasnt as bad as I thought it would be to have one without any medication. But that is like I said before, My coping skill is to think it is horrible and expect the worse so I can handle it better, ya know?
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
Yes I want the truth about things like that, but I am actually one of those people that can tell you it was really no big deal for me when in labor except on my 3rd child and that was only because I was induced. I had no pain killers, epidural, or anything to help with the pain as I didn't need them. I watched TV the whole time with my 1st baby and popped him out after being in labor a little over 8 hours. My 2nd one came in a little over 4 hours and it went by so quick. My 3rd was my painful one and that was only after they gave me petocin. Before they induced I was watching TV, but my contractions started slowing down so they felt it was best to induce me. I don't wish that upon anyone! My 4th, he came in about 3 hours time and I rested at home for about 2 hours of it watching TV and taking a bath. I guess I am one of the lucky ones and can withstand alot of pain.
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
that is good I am glad, honestly I think the one without the epidural was easier than the one with the epidural but it was still painful, Thanks for responding in a respective manner! =)
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jun 07
i did not have epiduarl with my first of course i really did not need it .my pain was not that bad on scale of 1 to 10 it was prob between 5-7i would do it again natuarlly to
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
27 Jun 07
I had my second with no epidural it was quick and intense, but I think easier than the one with the epidural. But I am not sure that I would "choose" to have a baby with out an epidural.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
25 Jun 07
i was told they fell like menstrual cramps and truthfully they did at first then i had to get the epidural b/c it hurt so bad.
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
yea, I got one the first time but had no time the second time, I agree though it is painful
1 person likes this
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
26 Jun 07
I think that a lot of people think that they will scare you and thats not a good thing. I dont think that nothing can prepare you for it, each one is different but at least after the first you have an inkling about the pain. I dont think that there are any words to describe it.
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I can agree, although I was more scared the second time as I knew what to expect I also felt more confident and prepared! =)
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I would prefer they tell me like it is and not stretch the truth. I actually got coached by my sister who already had three kids by then with one more on the way. She calmed me down, she got me through my contractions and I just focussed on what she was telling me as we went along. I had a midwife but I felt that she was more like my midwife LOL I think I have a high tolerance for pain so even though it was painful, as soon as I focussed on my breathing and just went with each contraction, it kind of didn't seem so bad after all. When my body was telling me it was time to push, I pushed. Pushing too early resulted in a nasty tear. As soon as I saw my son, all the pain was gone, only until a few hours later did I feel the pain of the stitches LOL
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I agree that it it really isnt nearly as bad you as would think it would be, when I had my baby with no medication, I thought wow, this wasnt as bad as I thought, but It was still painful just no where near what I imagined.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
27 Jun 07
When I was pregnant with my first son in 1995 people lied to me about birth experiences and I was therefore not properly prepared. In my birth plan I only knew about the things I wanted. I went to a class for pregnant ladies the second time around. I found it informative, discussing the different stages and dealing with the pain. Breathing, active positions and relaxation helped me have a quick and very easy birth. I only had strong pain for about 20 minutes the rest of the pain was moderate. One of my friends didn't even know she was in a labour and went to a midwife for a routine appointment. She was sent straight to hospital! She has a very high pain threshold.
1 person likes this
@speedy1279 (2665)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I think a lot of people saying it doesn't hurt is because we all have different pain tolerances. Like me, I have none!!! I do not tolerate pain at all. So had you asked me. I would have told you "IT HURTS!" Luckily for me. Everyone knew a head of time that I don't do pain very well, so they warned me of the pain. I have had two kids. The first one, the epidural blocked. So I ended up giving birth naturally anyways. The second one, was all natural with no other options. I was 9cm dialated by the time I got to the hospital. I had no choice. Needless to say. I had my tubes tied 6 weeks after my second child was born. *Just on a personal note! Ignore Judy, she is not worth getting upset about! From the different discussions I have seen her post to of yours. She is just doing it to make you mad and since you keep responding to her, she is getting what she wants. A reaction out of you! So you know what. If you ignore her, she will go away because she won't be getting any reaction out you anymore. I know it is hard but believe me you will be the one winning the battle.
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
that was almost exactly like me for my second, it took me about an hour & a half to have her. I had about 2 contractions that lasted about 5min each, then they started coming 3 min apart, and then they didnt stop I was 8 cm when I laid in the bed and fully dilated a minute later. On the personal note, yes I believe she is being spiteful but it seems she is being stalkerish.
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Personal note: I havent reported her, but I asked mylot for a block function! I think it can be utilized by more than just me, I think she's under control for the moment, some others helped me out letting her know how rude she is being, and hopefully, this will be the end of it, if not, then I wil start reporting her! Thanks for the support! =)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Wow! My second I was only in labor from start to finish, 3 hours. That was it. After that my mind was made up. No more kids! Personal note: Have you reported her? Do you need others to report her as well? I will gladly stand by your side.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I believe that the pain of childbirth is one of those things that the human psyche makes us forget exactly how painful it really is.... I hope that these people who told you that were not trying to be malicous about it...I am like you in that I want to know the truth when I ask someone a question....if they can not answer truthfully...then I would prefer that they just not even answer me at all...lol
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
25 Jun 07
true, They said they were trying not to scare me, but like I said I'd rather be prepared, ya know?
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
There are some people who do have quick unpainful deliveries and other who have horrible rip someones arm off kinda pain. I have 3 children and I've experienced alittle of both. My first child the labor was very painful..my second child came so quickly they didn't have time to give me an apeseotomy (sp?)..and I had one labor pain with my son that lasted two hours straight and my (ex)husbands hand was purple from me squeezing. So some people may be sugar coating it and others may be telling the truth. I tend to sugar coat it unless there is not a pregnant woman around, then I say it freakin hurts!!
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I can agree...my first was with an epidural and it was a long process, grueling even...my second was quick yet very intense, no medication, it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be but it was still painful!
1 person likes this
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I think everyone was pretty straight up with me about it. If someone did tell me it wasn't going to hurt I wasn't about to take their word for it. I had a c-section though so I was only in labor for about two hours.
• United States
26 Jun 07
I'm the type that wants it all on the table, so I can be prepared. It's a little different when it comes to labor, because some women do tend to forget how much pain they went through. I had an epidural both times and it wasn't that bad, but I remember all the pain for the weeks afterwards. Some women say that the reward of a baby is so special, that they forget about the pain they went through. I don't understand why someone would out right lie to you, because hiding the truth never helps anyone.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Well some people see it differently, and once you have the little baby in your arms, the pain seems to fade. For the past several years, I have had pain that makes labor feel like nothing. I think if I was to have a baby now (Heaven forbid) it would be like falling off a log.
1 person likes this
26 Jun 07
My wife wasn't much pain. Both my daughter (still born) and my son was fairly big babies. chloe was 5-6 and to say she was very early she made me proud as I knew she was strong :) Jake well he came out over 10 :) which is the same as myself when I was born. I guess some people have a large pain freshold and are able to manage it. Some being weaker find it more painful, I'm actually surprised though because I wouldn't like to do! :P ~Joey
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 07
I think it is too hard to describe to others, and as others mentioned, some can endure more pain for longer periods. In addition, succeeding births will usually be less painful than the first, and if the baby is turned the wrong way, or there are other complications, the pain will be different for everyone each time. After having my son naturally without any pain meds, I can now FINALLY describe to the doctors - in a way hopefully they can understand for once, that the pain I have experienced during menstruation is roughly six times WORSE than giving birth without any meds. Until a few years ago, it was dismissed as nothing significant.
1 person likes this
@lynnz78 (75)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 07
i think it is up to individu itself. like me, while i was waiting to be admitted into the labour room, there is this one women who looks so calm, she even can smile and talk to me. but within a minutes infront of me, she delivered her baby naturally! no epidural, no nothing...the doctors didn't even get the chance to examine her... and for me, i fall asleep within my contarction times from 10 pm to 7 am...i've delivered my baby at 7.07am and in my scale, it is not no bad... no epidural too :)
1 person likes this