Why get married?

United States
June 25, 2007 11:19am CST
Especially in today's world. I mean - what is there really to gain from it besides a party? With living together before marriage growing in popularity and women and men both holding down well paying full time jobs, where are the classic reasons to marry? Such as to have a home, children and someone to spend you life with. Many can do all of these things either on their own or without a marriage certificate. If you are married - what do you see as the reason to do so? If not - do you believe in marriage?
2 people like this
20 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
26 Jun 07
I know that times are changing and traditional things are starting to seem to be more of bother than anything else, but at the end of the day, when all is said and done, you do it, because it is the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
26 Jun 07
In order to believe in a certain thing, we must be willing to live within the confines of the laws that govern it. If I say that I am such and such, but I don't follow the rules, then either I am not that or I need to work on being better at work I claim to to adhere to. If I say that I am an American citizen, then I must be willing to abide by American laws of pay the consequences. My religious beliefs are a choice, they were not forced on me. And in choosing this religion I am also choosing to follow the rules of the Christian faith. If God is our father and the church is our mother, then the people who attend church, but do not know God as their father, to me, they are considered illegitimate. In order to be an heir to the kingdom, you have to be adopted into the family of God. And like any other father, God has rules and you either follow them or suffer the consequnces of your disobediance, but the choice is always mine to make.
• United States
26 Jun 07
What I don't understand mainly are people that say they marry because they are supposed to. I worry about people that say this whether it is because of religion or family etc.
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
I got married too because of my religious belief. And I think it's the primary reason. It's symbolic of the commitment we make to each other and the commitment we make before God. I have to admit, though, that marriage doesn't stop couples from separating but I do think it becomes more difficult to separate for married couples. I believe many would think twice before parting ways because of their belief and the commitment they made (assuming they did not go into marriage haphazardly).
• Philippines
27 Jun 07
I think it's sad if couples go into marriage out of a whim then separate. I think to better appreciate marriage, one should know what it is, the belief behind it, etc. Before we got married, we had to attend this marriage seminar in Church. Some would think it unnecessary but for me, it reinforced my beliefs and made me appreciate the sacrament better.
• United States
26 Jun 07
Ah - but that's what got me thinking about this the most. So many people DO go into marriage haphazardly and don't even really think about it other than knowing it is what's expected of them.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
Well...I believe in marriage because I guess I'm sort of religious, and my beliefs are that God wants us to marry. He wants us to make that covenant in front of Him and by His authority that we are bonded for life. I believe that we can't really become one flesh, until we come before Him and His throne together first and foremost, and secondly before our family, loved ones and friends. I do understand what you mean though. Couples that already live together and do things as if they're married probably don't give marriage much importance, they'll probably marry later on for the legal aspects of it. But I couldn't care less about the legalistic benefits of marriage, I just want to please God and do right in His eyes. (Sorry if I went all nutso, Jesus freak on you. LOL)
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
Oh no - simply by the fact you said "Sorry if I went all nutso Jesus freak on you" makes you un-freaky lol! I completely respect people's beliefs in religion and all of that. If your religion tells you to marry then cool - but take all of that away and what is there to make you want to be married? It seems to me that most legal reasons can be backed up with a will or something of the sort and gender roles are slowly merging together.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
Lol, I can't help but apologize, my friends (whom are not religious at all) got me used to it. We can be having a simple conversation about whoknowswhat and something might remind of a cool story in the bible and I'll start going on and on and on...until I notice the looks, that is. Haha! I see your point of course, I'm pretty sure if I weren't religious marriage would not mean a thing to me and I'd be living with my boyfriend right now. My life in general wold be very different in every aspect, I'm sure.
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@lynnz78 (75)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 07
i get married because i wanted to have a family, i wanted to have children...gosh i love kids :)
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 07
Kids are great :) I have spend a huge part of my life taking care of kids in one way or another. Responsible parents are great for kids too don't get me wrong - I just find that many families end up being more counter productive for their children because they married for reasons other than because they themselves wanted to. More often than not it is because someone else told them to or because they were taught they should - not because they felt the need to declare themselves. Why is marriage thought of more now as a way to retain a person than build up a person?
1 person likes this
• India
26 Jun 07
hi just for fun
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• United States
26 Jun 07
haha - exactly! Thanx for the comment :)
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@caver1 (1762)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I believe marriage ties us together in a way that just living together cannot. Commitment. We are committed to each other, to our kids, to making life work together. We didn't try it out first. We made a commitment before God, our families and friends. This commitment keeps us together even when things get tough. We both have the confidence that the other will always be there to share in the good, the bad and the ugly.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
This is what I should have said instead of my comments. Committed to each other..trough the good bad and ugly..yes..maybe Adam would have second thoughts in the Garden of Eden if he knew all the trouble he put on mankind by listening to his wife.. The Old Adam is blamed on all our trouble today..l/o/l
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
lol Oh poor Adam and Eve - blamed for so much! Commitment is a huge thing. Some people may need a declaration to be committed to another person and thats fine. Isn't it also possible however for someone to be committed to another without this? Although I'm (obviously) not married I find myself very much committed to my family and friends. Certainly this isn't the same but I did not need to have a ceremony to let them know that I will do whatever I can possibly do to help them no matter what.
1 person likes this
@edigital (2709)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I support marriage. Marriage give property or legal right to a woman and their children. If anyone fall in any problem or need a claim for marriage certificate or VISA then marriage is necessary. Moreover, marriage is rule of God and who believe religion must believe marriage. If not it is a great sin. Marriage is eternal rule and a celebrity and memorable day, say marriage day. If marriage is not done then marriage day cannot be celebrate. Live together is no problem in those country which allow it though marriage is great scope for the future generation. As if anybody say your kids that your parent had no marriage event then the childs may feel bad mood.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
I completely support those who want to be married for other reasons than money or because the "have to". Religion is an awesome thing and if you have strong beliefs then you should stick to them. I DONT believe that marriage is the only way to give property to a woman and I hope you didn't mean this because it is a very old idea. Many women can stand on their own 2 feet and support their children (if they have them) as well. Simply because a child doesn't have married parents does not mean they aren't loved. The divorce rate is growing rapidly and sad to say it - children growing up with split or single parent homes is becoming all too common. This doesn't mean that they aren't loved however. Growing up in a family full of divorces myself I am proud to say that we are all very self relient but also know how to help each other in need - we feel no "bad mood" because of this.
1 person likes this
@gotcho0O (1257)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Marriage is different. It's not just a paper or something. If you want to have a family your own and get a blessing from God, you might want to get married to someone you want to spend your life with. It's not necessary to others but if you do respect God you will probably want to do that.
• United States
26 Jun 07
I think marriage is just a bigger and better way for two people to express their love to eachother and I also think it better cements a relationship. But then again, not everyone is interested in a wedding and they're perfectly happy with their partners. I think that's great. Whatever works for those people. I'm glad people aren't bound by norms/traditions anymore and that we are freer to choose what we wish.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yes, traditions are wonderful but it needs to be because the person doing them believes in them more so than peer pressure. Marriage I think is just global understanding of love.
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@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Actually, more and more people are getting married now than living together and they are doing it at a lot younger age. Perhaps people want to revert back to more traditional times of the nuclear family. I am married with two children and I wouldn't have it any other way. Ideally, children need two stable parents to get through childhood and the trauma of adolesence and they need to do it in a stable environment.
@jmathen (112)
• India
25 Jun 07
My husband and I have been living together for the last two years without being married. We will eventually get married and not because it is important for both of us. In case something arises in a legal issue, there should be a legal document binding us together, thats all ! We have some things to clear up and as soon as it clears up, we will get married. In my Opinion, I dont think there is so much of an importance in marriage as soon as partners can understand each other and love each other and be in a faithful relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 07
Definatly - and most married couples don't have that understanding. I find that the couples who have simply been together for a long time are usually the ones who get along the best. It's becomming more and more common for couples to marry because they think it will change the way they fight etc.
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• Pakistan
26 Jun 07
people who dont get married are afraid of commitment.marriage creates balance in life.
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• United States
26 Jun 07
Does this mean that people in a 10+ year relationship that aren't married are afraid of commitment. Even if they never say nor think of leaving thier partner?
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@decent07 (232)
• India
25 Jun 07
yes especially for women
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• United States
25 Jun 07
? I'm sorry do you mean marriage is especially good for women?
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@jazzygdc7 (285)
• United States
26 Jun 07
getting married increases each person's wonderful opportunity to have a family
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• United States
26 Jun 07
Perhaps... Thank you for your comment.
1 person likes this
@baknudz (241)
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
Simply because I don't wanna live my life alone. I need somebody to care for me. I need somebody to love, a child to play with and wishing to live life as simple as it is and as happy as ever too... I wanted to show them how I love and take care of them for an indefinite years. And Im very sure in return they will do the same way in my older years to come.
• Pakistan
26 Jun 07
Well my reasons are simple and straight, marriage is something that can get you comitted to stay with your loved one forever, though the same maybe be said for people who are not married but what is the guarantee that couples will not be willing to split up due to some petty reasons, atleast in a state of marriage you will ponder over it many times before taking the big decision. In the west it is very common to live together but then again the split up rate is also high and in cases of marriage the rate of divorce is also very high but here in the east, marriage means comittment for life and this in turn makes family stay together and have a better understanding of each other, divorce here is something that is very rare to hear and besides would would not just want to have a happy marriage life, settle down and have a great family rather than having kids say that "I have a mom and a dad but they are not married" Also many surveys have proved that couples who are married tend to stick together more as compared to couples who just live together. Also parents that just live together without meaningfull relationship that can have a negative effect on kids. I have met many people online that used to just live together but after years and years they eventually tied the knot and when asked why? their reply was "Although we did lead a happy life but there was this emptiness that would not go away and since we have been bonded together (marriage) that emptiness is no more"
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
26 Jun 07
Because my husband and I were in love. In my time there were two type of women, the ones you married and the ones you didn't. If a man wanted to 'play house' or have you 'live in sin,' he was not the type of man you wanted. That meant unless you smiled at his jokes, and didn't touch his money, because you had your own, he could leave you, perhaps not the first year, but later down the road --twenty years or thirty years. He didn't have to pay for a divorce, he was gone. You have to ask yourself who was the first one to bring up the subject of living together, you or him? Do you really believe that woman who are married are slaves of their husband, that they say, "I have to obey my husband, sigh!" A wife obeys her husband because she loves him, not that he holds a whip or will beat her with his belt. Marriage is the love of a man for a woman when they are united either by a priest, preacher, rabbi, etc. justice of the peace, or marriage commissioner and to say that it is just a piece of paper is to devalue it.
• United States
27 Jun 07
Love is always the best reason. Please don't misunderstand me on this point ... I think that if a wife and husband truely do love each other and believe in the vows they are making then marriage is a wonderful and blessed thing. It is when this is not the case - as it all too often seems to be - that I think really devalues marriage.
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
to raise a family and to raise a children...
@Ptolemy (21)
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
I am married and I have no regrets so far. My reason for marrying is based on my belief that marriage is still sacred and a legal union. I agree that nowadays we hear reports or news about annulment and the like but why go with the flow when you can be yourself! Why not stablish some sort of standard for yourself and your life?
• United States
26 Jun 07
A standard set by one person could be totally different than anothers. Some people could believe that showing the world how much they care about each other on a day to day basis is a better way of showing character than having one day to prove their love.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 07
Why get married? HMM... Sometimes I ask that same question. My husband is in the military and is gone a lot. I sometimes think what's the point of getting married ,just to be alone all the time? marriage should be a safe place to be loved and cared for and to know your never alone. It should be a partnership. A team. Why are there so many men and women alone? Even thought they are married? Feels like being single sometimes. Love hurts.