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Does he really care how much time I spend with our little girl or...
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
June 25, 2007 5:07pm CST
My husband complains that I spend way too much time on the computer and not enough time around our daughter. Which is totally untrue in my opinion. He sleeps most of the day and doesn't see how much effort I put into being a full time mom.
But if I argue the point or disagree with him, he stomps away and sulks for three hours.
So, now whenever he complains, I get offline and spend time with our daughter. And, the second I get up, he jumps into the computer chair and starts surfing on the Internet.
Do you think he's really concerned that I'm not spending time with the little one, or just trying to pull a fast one on me so that he can spend more time online? Is this some kind of weird guilt trip? Do other husbands/partners do that too? Or just mine?
4 people like this
15 responses
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
25 Jun 07
He's probably just saying that to get his time on the computer. Maybe the two of you could work something out. But make sure he is actually spending quality time with your daughter too.
My husband wouldn't dare say that. I'm usually not on the computer when he's home anyway. I am home all day and have access to the computer...I'm not on it all day but I could if I wanted to deny my responsibility as a parent! I'm not going to do that. And I prefer to spend time with my husband when he gets off of work.
Ha, the problem is, when he gets home he wants to surf music pages and found out if anything "new" is going on with his favorite artists. There never really is anything new...anyway, my husband is gone 12 hours a day and rarely ever spends time with our son. So if he even dared say something like that, he would have it! :)
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
7 Jul 07
Certainly that is one of our issues! He spends a good amount of time with our child. But, he also has unlimited access to the computer and Internet after I go to sleep, maybe four or six hours. He stays up very late surfing the Internet. And, then he wants to dip into my very limited time online for his own purposes. I have everything set up so that I can use my daughter's down time/naps and other short intervals to work on My lot and do paying surveys.
That's the time he coincidentally wants too. Can you believe it? It's not as if he doesn't have all the time in the world to be online when I'm not around. It's not like I'm stopping him. Good grief!
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
7 Jul 07
hehehe seems to me that you guys are fighting over the computer and it's not anymore the 'taking care of the daughter issue'.
Maybe he has also joined myLot and would like to earn more. *LOL*
You guys got to talk. Schedule stuff, and don't compromise. Plus what is he doing online anyway? You sure he hasn't got a girlfriend online? *LOL*
We had problems with our pc too so we set up schedules. When the fights was still about. Then we bought pcs. hahahaha
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I think he is wanting to spend more time on the computer...given his behavior when you get up....
My hubby occasionally gives me a hard time in jest...but has never gotten mad at me...he will tell me..."If I had a screen maybe you would answer me" then he laughs....and goes about is tv show....LOL
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
25 Jun 07
Maybe you both should just make a new rule. I know in our home me or my husband don't get online at all if the kids are awake. Because lets face it, the computer can make you distracted. So when the kids are awake we spend time with them together. Sometimes he will get online if I am entertaining the children or if I'm on the computer he will entertain them.
I would just tell him he shouldn't be on the computer either when your daughter is around. It goes both ways. He has to make a change as well. It's not only you using the computer, from what I read.
1 person likes this
@djbizmonkey34 (633)
• United States
25 Jun 07
No you are not the only one. My husband does something like that too. He just tells me to get off and go play with the baby. He works third shift too so obviously he doesn't realize how much time I spend with her. Plus I usually work 7am to 6:30pm and don't get home until 7pm and the only time I get to get on the computer is after he has left for work. Oh well though. Ever thought about getting a second computer or a laptop for yourself?
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
7 Jul 07
That's what's so funny about this situation. We have a second computer, but he just doesn't want to use it. Cause it's not hooked up to the Internet. Boys and their toys, I guess.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
26 Jun 07
How old is your daughter? How about telling him that you guys should spend quality time together as a family- so he doesn't need to be online either- I get online when my daughter is busy- SHe is 10 though- Or when she heads up to bed- I never was on when she was little- I was always with her- Sounds like he wants computer time- Why does he sleep all day? Does he work nights?
@TruthElixirX (40)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I think it is very sad that you are asking for relationship advice regarding your marriage on a message board. I would think, the adult thing to do, would be to approach your husband and talk to him.
It is a novel idea I know, but try it, communication might just work!
@lynnz78 (75)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 07
my husband never complains about anything i do, perhaps it is because i did the same with him. I also have a little girl which is 3 months old, i tried my best to divide my time; but truely it is hard...there's 3-4 times i got very frustrated with my life. What ever it it, i'm just trying to do the best that i could to be a mother, a wife and a God creature...
@sreeraj_9 (67)
• India
26 Jun 07
hi
there must be some time to spend in a week completely atleast weekend
@marshall_blake2000 (304)
• United States
25 Jun 07
yes you both need to spend more time with her. me and my wife do the same thing lol. we need to spend more time with the kids to.
@bharatananya (6)
• India
26 Jun 07
Daughter wants much time of mother and that is needs of daughter.
father can care of daughter but not smattly than mother so mothers love is important than fathers love.
@ghostdave (3)
• United States
26 Jun 07
gotta tell ya its like that all over, i really think its not about all that its like the computer is taking quality time one on one time away from your husband , same thing happened with my family only someone ended up in jail over it. it was a very sad time but sometimes you gotta turn it off and have family night ,or one on one night. seems kind of shutting you out behavior, time to talk it all out set up a time chart and find some activity to do as a family. hope it works out dont let the net tie up your life its just a machine! a voice from the box,lols ghosty
@angiefayer (7)
• United States
26 Jun 07
same happened with my mom and me i think u should get another computer
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I hate to say this, but to me he doesn't sound like a very supportive husband. You said that he sleeps most of the day...and then when he's up he's on the computer. It doesn't sound to me like he's spending too much time with your daughter. I hope you don't take offense to this, but he doesn't seem very father-like to me. Don't let him make you feel bad about the little amount of free time you get to yourself.
