Update: My Brothers Arson Charges

@webeishere (36351)
United States
June 25, 2007 7:45pm CST
Some of you may recall the discussion about my younger brother. For those not familiar the shot story is he set his bed on fire with his girlfriend in it. The fire forced 20 people from their apartments into the street at 3 a.m. he had paid a $500 bail which we feel is too low. But the stipulations were he was not to have any contact with his former girlfriend nor to drink at all waiting for his court date on the 27th. Well guess what? He went out drinking on Fathers Day. Seems his photo and or mug shot is on display at quite a few bars in Superior Wisconsin. Someone saw him drinking, recognized the photo of him and called the police. He was arrested and had to pay another $500 bail. The worse part is his daughter took him to the bar for a drink for fathers day. I love ToTo dearly but now she shows that she is just as dumb as my brother is. I guess she learned it all from her dad after all. I can't get too mad at her about it. But please why take him to a bar when she knows he isn't supposed to drink? Anyhow that's the update so far. He does go to court for the arson charges etc this Wednsday. HAPPY POSTINGS FRTOM GRANDPA BOB !!~
17 people like this
24 responses
@byfaithonly (10715)
• United States
26 Jun 07
That is very strange your neice would take her father to a bar knowing he wasn't supposed to drink - down right sad that she has not learned from his mistakes. Must be the week for 'court' we go today - my youngest son, my 'problem child' 16, has been charged with breaking and entering with the intent to commit larceny - he and a friend stole some candy bars :( stupid stupid stupid. They were bored :( I have a feeling he's going to do some time in juvy over this one and I honestly hope he does - hopefully he'll learn something from the experience.
4 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Well maybe your son will learn from this. getting bored as a teen makes them act with out thinking first. Hopefully his crime spree ends here huh? Good luck I guess. HAHAHAHA!!! My brothers preliminary hearing is tomorrow. (Wed) HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10715)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yep I'm hoping he learns before he ends up as stupid as your brother - nothing against you dear we can only do so much to help our family members. Keeping them both, my son and your brother, in my prayers.
3 people like this
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
26 Jun 07
The impression I get about him is he is very controling. Maybe she needs some extra family support to figure out it's okay to tell him no and that she is not disrespecting him. Or maybe she wanted him to go back to jail. Isn't he living with her?
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yes he is living with her. And he is back there once again. She knows I am her biggest supporter. I love her as if she were my own. She knows she can come to me about anything at all no matter how personal. That's not the problem. I think it's like we all know, we learn from our parents. But I lost some respect for her as she took him out for a drink knwoing full well about the stipulations of his bail and court orders. Anyhow I am hoping and I know he will be sent to an inpatient program after this violation of his bail. Plus he should lose that first $500 bail due to violating the stipulations set by the courts. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jun 07
might expensive drink ay?
• United States
27 Jun 07
oops mighty***
@gardengrrl (1445)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Hi, Grandpa Bob! I've been following your posts about your brother, very sorry for your family's trials. I know you've been going through this stuff for many years, but I imagine it still bothers you sometimes. I hope that something good will come into your brother's life, and heal the pain he has that makes him be such a total eff-up. Hang in there, friend!
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Oh geez I cant believe she did that.LOL What was she thinking? I dont think she was thinking. Well I feel bad for people that dont learn from their mistakes. So very sad.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
She was thinking all right. "Free booze. Yesss!" Guess it's in the genes. Just like her daddy she is. Oh well. She'll be next in jail. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12913)
• Australia
26 Jun 07
And on Fathers day too! He doesn't sound like he could have been much of a Father to her. And why be so open about it? If he is going to break the court order, why not drink at home, where no one will see him? Not that I am suggesting he break the law & drink, but going to a pub shows a lack of brain power, on both his daughters & yoyr brothers part. Sorry you have to put up with this brother of yours.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Well he isn't much of a father in my eyes. She had been at our house more than her own home when she was a small child. She even lived with us when she was a teen. Don't know if it was because she choose to or he didn't want her around. But at times she feels more like a daughter than a niece and there have been times she even called me daddy Bob when she was smaller. Yes neither has used their brains much in their lives it seems. HAHAHA! Gotta laugh at times about it all to survive. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@blackbriar (9080)
• United States
26 Jun 07
He keeps up his drinking when he shouldn't be, he's not gonna be able to afford his own lawyer with all the bail he has to put forth every time he's caught. Maybe eventually your brother and his daughter will learn, ya think?
3 people like this
26 Jun 07
I won't say anything other than It wasn't a good idea. :) Last place I'd take a friend of mine is to a betting shop. I hope things slowly wind down, so you can all get back on with things must be very hard to watch and see your brother do this and keeping do. (getting in trouble) Has anyone encouraged him to try/ get counselling? (yeah I know this doesn't always work) Kudos my friend, ~Joey
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
He was to call me at 11 p.m. my time. I decided to log on instead and tie up the phone line. I would have said things he didn't want to hear and I really didn't feel like telling him the truth at this time of night. He will hear it once again from me. Him get treatment? HAHA!! Thanks for the response and concern also. Its deeply appreciated and needed right now. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!`
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jun 07
The unfortunate thing is that many do not adhere to the no drinking part of their conditions. They feel that one drink won't hurt. Well, it does.
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I knew for a fact he would drink before he returned on Wed for his court hearing. I just never expected ToTo to take him to a bar for hid drinking. He lives with her and she knew the stipulations of his bail etc. Yet she choose to take him out on Fathers Day for a drink? Come on. She is just as ignorant as he is. I guess we DO learn from our parents. She is the one he calls also to run to the bank get the money, run to the bailsman, run to the court, fill out the forms, sit at jail waiting, then give him a ride right back to her home. Unreal. Now I lost a lot of respect for my ToTo. Oh well it runs in his genes it seems. Thanks for the response also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6760)
• Defiance, Ohio
26 Jun 07
Some people just don't think before they do something. They act like they don't have a brain or left it at hom eunder the bed collecting dust....Your niece should of known better about taking your brother to the bar when he is not suppose to drink. She could of easily bought him a six pack and been on her way. While he drank at home. Not saying she should of done that either. But at least that way he could of drank in peace.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
He lives with her also. HAHAHAHA! They are both a little short in the brain category as of late. Especially her. He's always been this way. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB!!~
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
26 Jun 07
Doesn't that make it even worse? I hate to say thi sbut...doesn't everyone have one or two of those in the family?
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yeah Yeah Yeah ... that is wonderful news Grandpa Bob, I was kind of hoping that he would screw up and go to a bar and get caught, now hopefully he will get a judge on the 27th that will realize that he has a true problem and needs some help. I know it is late to be doing this, but in an effort to help your brother out, as a family member, you might want to write to the judge and ask for his guidance in your brother's trial, like giving him time in a rehab hospital for a longer stint that a few days or hours, just a thought, I know it has helped others in the past when family members have asked the court for helping dealing with a relative that is out of control, like your brother seems to be. Good Luck, keep us apprised!
2 people like this
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Hopefully your brother will get the full punishment to the law. Hopefully harsher than the $500 bail for doing this. He needs help, and being on the streets isn't going to help were he can go and drink freely with his daughter. Your family needs to focus on his daughter since she has kids of her own. She needs to have her eyes opened. She could easily have her kids taken away from her because of her drinking problem. Or sad to say get in the car with them after drinking and have an accident. This is a disease that she needs to stop with her, so her kids don't grow up to make the same mistakes to.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Oh she has her own slew of problems. And this drinking etc is going to bring them to the top once again. She will pay in the long run as well. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@minnie_98214 (10558)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Why are you suprized at all. She has a problem just like he does. I think shes take the pope out and get him drunk if she could.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Well she tried like hell to get me to drink that night we went to the Johnny Cash Tribute concert at the Cabooze. She ticked me off that night. That and then she was hanging all over me at the same time. Shocked mom didn't say anything to her anout either incident actually. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM DADDY!!~
@lisado (1228)
• United States
26 Jun 07
What was she thinking?? He should have known better than to go to a bar, as well, but why even tempt him by taking him to a bar? Good grief. I doubt the judge will look to kindly on the visit to the bar when he knew he wasn't supposed to be there. I hope they are able to get him some help. He might have gotten a lighter sentence had he not gotten arrested again so soon for drinking. UGH! How are you and the rest of your family handling this mess?
2 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yeah thats what we think also. After his arrest in a bar it doesn't look good as far as his preliminary hearing Wed. Treatment is just around the corner I'd venture to guess. I handle this like everything else in my life with humor and prayers. HAHAHAHA!! Stick around my pages and you'll get to know my humor in even serious issues. It actually helps tremendously. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
26 Jun 07
oh Grandpa Bob the sooner it seems that she gets away from her father the better. I agree it was silly for her to take her father out for a drink but I cant help but wonder if she isnt trying to get him jailed. I mean I dont know her so Im only speculating but if she is living with him it must be very hard on her also. Plus its hard to keep a alcholic away from the drink no matter what. goodluck I hope this is over soon.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Yeah but she can't get away AS HE IS BLIND AND SHE NATURALLY FEELS SORRY FOR HIM ALL TOO OFTEN. hE USES HIS BLINDNESS AS AN EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING, HE EVEN SAYS HE DRINKS BECAUSE HE IS BLIND. i ASKED HIM WHY HE DRANK BEFORE HE WENT BLIND. hahaha! nO ANSWER TO THAT WAS GIVEN. jUST A SHRUG OF HIS SHOULDERS. Dam caps niot gonna edit this now. He is living with her in her home. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
26 Jun 07
That is too bad that she did that but as you said he did raise her. It is clear he does not know how to make wise choices so where would she have learned to make the right wise choices? I feel sorry for children that were raised in those situations because they don't seem to be able to know the difference between right and wrong. I hope that someone sits her down and explains why that was a wrong choice. Since he was able to make bail again she needs to know that she should call someone if he is pressuring her into doing something that is wrong. It is sad that your family has to go through all of this. My best wishes to you and your family!
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jun 07
Bob, i'm so sorry to say this because i know you love your brother, but he should be chargedwith attempted murder as well. How he is getting away without that charge as well as the arson is beyond me. i don't know if his intent was to kill his girlfriend or not, but he DID knowingly setthe bed on fire with her in it. That IS attemped murder, regardless of what was in his mind. i'm sorry, i know you must think i am being harsh, but i am being honest.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
26 Jun 07
That' was the original charge but I guess prosecuters felt they couldn't get a conviction for that. But he should be charged with at least attempted manslaughter I felt. Oh well. He is going to treteament I am sure. Maybe this will be the kick in the azz he needs to sober up. I doubt it but just MAYBE!! HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
It was a bad decision on her part to bring her father to a bar. However, she may have to give in to her father after too much coaxing from him. Maybe she thought that she could see to it that nothing untoward would happen since she would be there to watch out for him. Sometimes, we just can't say no to our parents. I am one of those who doesn't have the heart to deny my parents what they want and sometimes our judgment is being clouded by our love for them. I just hope that she has learned her lessons. Sometimes we just have to be 'cruel' in order to be kind.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
26 Jun 07
I guess your brother will have to learn a hard lesson and a costly one if he ever does learn it. His girlfriend needs some learning of her own. This is a sad story and getting sadder.
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
26 Jun 07
It appears your neice has picked up some very bad habits from her father...but taking him to a bar when she KNOWS he can go back to jail does not show very good judgement on her part....LOL I am sorry that you are having to go through this, my friend....
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Well I see he is probably in court right now. I can't believe that his daughter actually took him to a bar. I don't blame who ever reported him. They may have been in fear of what he might do if he continued to drink there! Yes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
27 Jun 07
His mugshot was up in bars around Superior I had heard. That's how he got turned in. I'll be calling my niece later to see what happened in court. Will start a new discussion if it's worth writing about. HAHA! HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~