How to deal people always trying to criticise me?

India
June 26, 2007 2:17am CST
"Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a man's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment."I always surrounded by people who always trying to criticise me without any matter. This is the worst problem of my life as I am unable to solve this. It is difficult to even face that moment. Sometime I start crying. I hate criticism and criticiser but it is not easy to get rid of them as because all come in my relations. But I can't able to handle the situation in proper manner.With growing age I manage not to cry but it really hurts and depressed me and to save my self from those people is very tough job. Plz help me.
5 responses
• Canada
7 Jul 07
desertking, if this is what you are surrounded by I am not surprised that you said you did not want to live. Who are these people? Family, so-called friends, co-workers? What I would ask you is how much authority are you willing to give these people? They are only expressing an opinion...their opinion. You do not have to accept their opinion. You can look at the source...they cannot be very admirable human beings if they treat you or anyone else that way...so why do you buy into their opinion of you? You can choose not to listen...walk away and build up your self-esteem by doing things that will make you feel better about yourself and tell them to 'put a sock in it.' Why not try doing something for someone less fortunate. Could you mentor someone younger than you and be a good role model? Could you help the less fortunate anywhere in your country? Could you visit sick or old people that have no family of their own. Finding those who are in worse circumstances and assisting them can do wonders for our sense of self. Perhaps it is time to read some positive living books...like the Secret or something that will help you improve your self-worth. People will always talk, judge and criticize...somewhere along the line we need to decide the only opinion that really matters is the one we have of ourselves.
• India
7 Jul 07
Thank you dear for giving me these encouraging words and suggestions.But if someone repeat the criticism day after day then how you feel. When people who are your relatives always trying to criticise u at every point.Now i stop meeting that peoples because I read in book that if you get some negative vibration from someone then try to avoid them or stop meeting them, it make you to feel better and try to live in positive enviornment always.Now I am working on this suggestion.Thanks a lot dear for your care and love. Take care.God bless u.Wish you good luck for your future life.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jul 07
desertking, You sound like a gentle spirit and that gentleness could be part of the reason these people are dishonoring of you. I am a life coach, writer and group leader and my intent is to always help people...help themselves. And If I can help you by sharing ideas that allowed me to heal my own life I will. One of the most important things to remember in life is that 'train people who to treat us.' It is not meant to create a sense of further inadequacy...but to provide hope by realizing things can change...if we learn new skills and apply them. When relatives are emotionally abusive...you do not have to take it. You can tell that even though they are your family you refuse to have treat you badly. If they are not able to change...then maybe you need to find a counsellor who could give you some tools to help you create safe emotional boundaries from them. I would suggest reading books or watching movies about people who have overcome their personal challenges. Sometimes hearing how others did it can provide the inspiration needed to do a course correction and find ways to bring happiness, health and meaning. I sincerely with the very best for you and count me among your Mylot friends. I will keep responding to your discussions and am concerned about your health and well-being. You are a part of our human family and no matter where you are...a part of the Onesong within the human spirit. Blessings
• India
8 Jul 07
I never forget in my life that I found u as my friend.You are really nice human being and always ready to help others.Thanks a lot for helping me in my worst days.I am far away from you but I can feel u because of your kindness and care.Thanks for your support and great suggestion to improve my life and day today struggle. Thank you very much dear.I pray to god for your good life and bright future.Take care of yourself because you are very precious for me.
1 person likes this
@itshalom (355)
• Singapore
8 Jul 07
Hi desertking..this incident happened at my house recently, an elderly single friend gave negative comments on my mom's dishes that she has eaten and told me that comments are good feedback as it encourages improvement. My mom was not in the house at that time so Knowing that she has the habit of criticism/comments for things that she came across i replied in a discourteous question asking her whether did she ever often, cook for people and would she able to take negative feedback positively about her cooking. I am here commenting on people like her who wants to comment what she wants to without considering what people has gone through for example the hard work of preparation to get things done despite the outcome of results and just a comment from her kills an enthusiasm/loving heart. I felt better after given her a question in return not because of her feedback on my mom's cooking but generally her negative comments on many things that she came across.
• India
9 Jul 07
thanks
@itshalom (355)
• Singapore
8 Jul 07
Hi desertking..this incident happened at my house recently, an elderly single friend gave negative comments on my mom's dishes that she has eaten and told me that comments are good feedback as it encourages improvement. My mom was not in the house at that time so Knowing that she has the habit of criticism/comments for things that she came across i replied in a discourteous question asking her whether did she ever often, cook for people and would she able to take negative feedback positively about her cooking. I am here commenting on people like her who wants to comment what she wants to without considering what people has gone through for example the hard work of preparation to get things done despite the outcome of results and just a comment from her kills an enthusiasm/loving heart. I felt better after given her a question in return not because of her feedback on my mom's cooking but generally her negative comments on many things that she came across.
• India
9 Jul 07
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. Take care
• Malaysia
7 Jul 07
Me too. I have the same problem as you are having. It is very hard for me to accept criticisms from people because most of them are not positive but negative and harsh comments. At first I used to be crying, and thinking why people like to hurt my feelings. Now as I am growing and getting matured I learnt to deal with it and push all the criticisms aside. I no longer feel it as a threat. I ignore people who give me harsh comment, and in the long run people will get bored if we just ignore them. maybe you could try my method. Good luck to you.
• India
7 Jul 07
Thank you mam for giving me a suitable suggestion.Take care and good luck to you also.
@pinklilly (3445)
• Australia
28 Jun 07
Hugs for you - Hugs
Don't let criticism get to you take it on bored and learn from it, we all make mistakes thaen move on and it will make you a stronger person... I found this it may help http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/criticism.htm and also this one http://mind.in/node/167 Hope this helps, and you work it out and not let it get to you too much Your friend pinklilly
• India
2 Jul 07
Nice to hear from you my lovely friend pinklilly. take care