my wife had a miscarriage.

Philippines
June 26, 2007 3:22am CST
my wife had a miscarriage. our unborn 2nd baby is about 3 1/2 month old. our doctor pull me aside and told me to be strong for my wife's sake. she is very depress. i told her couraging words and that uplifts her somewhat. but when i'm alone i too felt the pain of lossing the child that would have been born on december this year. i could not tell my wife for she look up to me for strength, i dare not show my own weakness. so i felt alone in dealing with my own sorrow. how could i deal with this on my own terms and be strong at the same time for the sake of my wife?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@Lucille7 (509)
• South Africa
26 Jun 07
I am really sorry to hear this. I have not even been able to bring children into this world and at a certain stage in my life it was so difficult to deal with. But this is even worse and I cannot even begin to comprehend how you both are feeling right now. A friend of mine also just had a miscarriage at 3 months and it is so difficult. I am so sorry about this and wish you all the best. This child will still come to you if it is what the Lord has planned for you. Hang in there friend and know that you are not alone.
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
thanks for the comment. i really appreciate what you did for me.
1 person likes this
@Lucille7 (509)
• South Africa
26 Jun 07
No problem... I hope you guys are going to be ok. Take good care!
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
10 Jul 07
Actually, probably the best thing you could do for your wife right now is demonstrate that you loved your baby as much as she and you're just as hurt as she is. Mourn your child together. If you want to cry, go ahead. You'll both be on the road to healing a lot faster if you know that you're both in this together, no matter what. When you miss your baby, tell her and let her comfort you. You'll both appreciate it. Blessed Be
• Philippines
16 Jul 07
thank you for your comment. it means a lot to me.
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
16 Oct 08
I'm so sorry. I realize this was over one year ago, but I know that sort of pain never leaves. My cousin and his wife lost their 3rd baby Jaden earlier this year and it was really hard on them.
• United States
26 Jun 07
I'm so bery sorry to hear about your loss. However, speaking as a woman, the doctor is wrong. Your wife needs to know that the loss is as real for you as it is for her, show her that you love her and that you are as sad as she is. Just be there for each other. It is the only thing you can giv each other that will really mean anything.
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
thank you for you comment. i'll talk with my wife when i go home. you're right, we must encourage each other and give each other support.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
It is very sad to hear about your unborn baby. Hold your wife and hug her more, women feel more secure when they are being hugged. It is ok to show your weakness to your wife, strength is not the absence of weakness, being strong is standing up even if you are weak.
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
thanks palace_girl. my wife is still depress but i could see that she is trying her best to accept what has happened. you are right, lately i have been hugging my wife more often that what i used to to reassure her of my love and support.
@19ewf84 (461)
• Austria
28 Jul 07
I had a miscarriage myself.. One important thing is - talk with her about your feelings and listen to her when she tells you about her feelings. It's absolutley not good for a relationship if both of you start to hide emotions and feelings. There is not very much else you both can do... To be strong alone is very very hard, to be together strong isnt that easy either but the strength both of you gives the other one can help a lot!
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
I know it still hurt until now. But it will help more if the two of you talk about this with a professional. It will give you some closure. I know your wife look up to you for strength, but I think marriage is about going through hard time together. It ease both of your pain knowing what you are going through and letting each other know about it. Ask a professional and I hope they can help you. Try this: Write a letter for your baby, both of you. tie it in a balloon and say goodbye to it. it symbolizes you baby. and letting it go means you are letting your baby go to heaven... good luck
@djmarion (4898)
• Philippines
26 Jul 07
i am really sorry for what happened to your baby, as a woman i understand what your wife really feels, it is really hard to loose a child under her womb and everyone never like that to happen. you need to be very understanding and supportive and you should not leave her side, make her feel that you love her very much and that you will always be at her side whatever happens,. in due time she can recover from the pain of loosing your child. God bless.
• Philippines
26 Jul 07
i was eplying to your pm when i chanced on reading one of your discussions. i'm hurting and now i learned that somehow you've been hurting too. the only difference is you are not alone. this is something you can go thru together. this is just one moment that will soon pass. you, at least, have each other. never let go of that fact. children, like relationsips are blessings. sometimes, for us. sometimes not. just be there for her. your presence and support provides silent strength for her. i hope that you also find your strength on the fact that there would be future babies. and this is just one episode of your life and that "this too shall pass". myles ps: sorry for the very long pm i sent in reply to your pm. i appreciate the concern. :)