My 15 year old cousin is pregnant!

United States
June 27, 2007 7:41am CST
I was at my mothers house last night and my cousin started crying. I looked over and my aunt had a piece of paper in her hands. She looked at it and stood up and she looked really mad. She threw the paper on the table and walked out. More like storming out. It was her test results from the health department stating that she was pregnant. A little while after my aunt had calmed down she came back and asked my cousin why she had to tell her in front of everybody. I know it wasn't my fault for being there but I feel bad because I was. I don't think it was the appropriate place for her to tell her mother. A lot of the family was there because my sister had just come in from Arizona. We were there to visit with her. I don't know why but I just feel guilty. What would you guys think about the situation? If your child was pregnant at 15 how would you handle it? I'm not judging her for being pregnant at 15. I was pregnant and married at 16. So I can relate. But I was already married when I found out that I was pregnant. Most people in my family get married at 16. I know it seems like I was too young because well I was and I know that now. I'm still with my husband but we have been through a lot. More than anyone could ever know.
3 people like this
15 responses
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
27 Jun 07
I think that your aunt should have given her daughter the test results in private. It was very inappropriate for her to do it in front of the whole family. This is a private matter between your cousin and her boyfriend. It is a shame that your aunt brought the whole family into the situation. It probably was very uncomfortable for everyone there.
• United States
27 Jun 07
My aunt really wasn't trying to bring anyone into it. I think she just was so mad that she could'nt hardly control her emotions. I have a 1 year old daughter and I don't know if I will ever be in that situation but I hope that I don't respond negatively.
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
27 Jun 07
You really don't know how you would react since you haven't been in that situation. I would hope if I were put in that situation I would keep it a private matter until my daughter is ready to let the family know.
1 person likes this
@aj2006 (1536)
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
..sometimes in our lives, when we get disappointed, we forgot to handle the situation in a very nice and proper way.. Let's just try to understand a hurting mother's heart and a young lady who is depressed with her condition but wanted so much support..
1 person likes this
@us2owls (1681)
• United States
28 Jun 07
It is sad that this 15 year old finds herself pregnant. She is basically still a schoolgirl. I think her Mother was feeling remorse for not having seen to it that her daughter was protecting herself when she became sexually active. In one of you later posts angelababy you say you are against abortion. Many people are but it is not you who is pregnant and I think it should be left entirely up to your cousin to make the choices for her future. I would help her to find some place where she can receive counselling in order for her to make the right choice for her - not what you or any other member of the family thinks she should do. If this is done then she cannot come back later and blame anyone else for the choices she made. I hope things work out for her and that she can finish her education and support this child if she has to and if she decides to keep it. The entire family needs to give her their full support in whatever choices she makes.
• United States
28 Jun 07
I didnt mean it was just me and our family that doesnt beleive in it. My cousin is appalled at the idea of aborting her baby. She wants to keep it. She just doesnt want to do other things like she should like staying in school. She wants to quit. She also wants to move in with the babys daddy. I dont know but I think that she was trying to get pregnant because I and other members of the family had heard her discuss it. I know it sounds crazy but I think thats what happened.
• United States
27 Jun 07
It is too bad that it happened the way that it did. Maybe your cousin was scared to tell her alone. I worked at a crisis pregnancy clinic for a few years and the number one reason 14 - 16 year old girls were seeking abortion information was because they feared telling their parents. . .not because they wanted an abortion. You are in a position to be a great support person for your cousin, even if you are not very close to her.
• United States
28 Jun 07
My family doesn't believe in abortion and they wouldnt be able to get rid of the baby. She wants to keep the baby but they feel she is very immature. They want the baby too but they are just concerned because she is so young. They wouldnt consider me a very good influence though.
• United States
27 Jun 07
All of it is wrong and should be one of the top subjects for american families. We need to prevent teen pregnancies and unwanted children. These children have a much higher chance of repeating the behavior of their parents and not receiving the familiar love that every child should receive.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
I agree that we should be more strict with our children and talk to them a lot more about it. I don't want my daughter ever getting pregnant at that age. I did but because of my own experience and regrets that I have, I don't want her doing the same things. I would never say that a child is not wanted because it isn't their fault. To me a child is a precious life. I believe in christianity and I believe that God decides who is brought into the world and who isn't. He controls all life. Even if he doesn't like the way that a child is made the final decision is up to him.
• Australia
28 Jun 07
What an awkward situation for you, I would have been embarassed too! Those types of bombshells could certainly wait until mum and daughter were alone. Maybe your cousin was hoping that with you all around, her mum would take the news a bit better. I'm not sure how i would handle the situation either. I have boys and I am hoping that we will not ahve to deal with kind of news soon either. Good on you for staying with your husband, I know life is challenging and you obviously love each other to stick at it, and we all know how life loves to challenge! May be your cousin will look to you for some advice.
@surveygrrl (1270)
• United States
28 Jun 07
I personally would not have wanted to let everyone now at once if I was a teenager. I had a scare when I was a teenager and that straightened me up. I hope your aunt comes around to the idea and your cousin does what she can to prepare for the baby.
@fizzytom (754)
• Maribor, Slovenia
28 Jun 07
I have to say I find it very sad - asd that for the fifteen year old. I personally would like people not to have children before the age of twenty at least. I am not saying people youngerthan that can't be good parents but there are so many life experiences you haven't had before twenty (and lots more afterwards). I think we owe it to our children to have plenty of life experience so w can use our knowledge and experience to bring them up well
• United States
28 Jun 07
I think that your aunt and cousin should have been alone with this private matter. But, they weren't. You need not feel bad. As what to do, well I guess your cousin will have to figure out what she needs to do for herself and her baby now. Where is the father?
1 person likes this
@Katagiri (426)
• Brazil
27 Jun 07
It happened in my family... my cousin's daughter got pregnant at 15 also. At least you were married yet, but it's sad to see kids getting pregnant, children having babies... My cousin's daughter's kid is with my aunt, she's already an elder, I think it's not her job.
1 person likes this
@Galena (9120)
27 Jun 07
maybe she decided to tell her in front of you because you've been through a similar experience yourself, so felt like she had a little support, and someone there who would give her mum more of a sense of perspective as to how it's not the end of the world.
1 person likes this
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
27 Jun 07
I think she could have found a better time to tell her Mom, but it is the past now and the baby is he most important person right now. Everyone will accept and love the baby in no time.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
27 Jun 07
This was a big mishap occured due to negligence of the parents of your cousin, and it was also punishment of the time. Time is a best judge. Time never forgive those, who do not care to save them. Your aunt became angry and confused. What she told, it was result of her confusion. You should forget it all and prove them that you are their friend. Help them the miserable relatives if you can. All things are possible. This is a lesson for youngesters as well as the parents of the young childerns.
• United States
28 Jun 07
Ehh i dont even wanna get into a discussion about this. o.o
@Galena (9120)
28 Jun 07
then why answer at all?
1 person likes this
• Australia
28 Jun 07
wow this issue is pretty devastating to your aunt! I can kind of understand why she is so angry, and she has a right to be! It was very inappropriate of your cousin to tell her mom that she is pregnant infront of the whole family, can you imagine how embarassed your aunt would b? i hope it all turns out well .
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
Your culture is really different for us here. you married at an early age. And I don't really think it's right to get married very early or get pregnant at 15. I got married at 25... Well in dealing problems like that it should be discuss privately mom, dad and the daughter, so it won't be too complicated.