husbands comes home late

Philippines
June 27, 2007 9:36am CST
If you have a husband who usually goes out at night, will you try to contact him through his cellphone? Maybe by texting? will you ask him where he is? and if he gets angry at you because of your questions, is it right? And if he comes home, is it still right to ask him where he has been the whole night? I can't understand men in a way. Is it normal for them to be going out maybe about 8 times in a month for some drinking sessions? Especially for married men. I feel sick about them, thinking they've got their own family already. What do you think?
5 people like this
23 responses
• China
27 Jun 07
im not married yet but ive seen how my parents and aunties handle things like this...yah its ok if u ask where he is but be sure to ask him in a nice way not by nagging because men don't like to be nag... also when he went home let him sleep and then in the morning u can talk to him about last night in a nice way again...
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Jul 07
Thanks, man!
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
I do not have a husband, but I do have a bf who I live with. he goes out at times with his friends, maybe once or twice a month, but he calls in all the time. I do not even need to call or text him, coz he will do that himself. He never has a problem telling me were he has been or with whom. If he did then I would have a problem with him =) If we are in a relationship we should know about what the other party is doing, see nothing wrong with that!
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jun 07
I think if wife and family are getting equal time there's nothing wrong with a guy going out-even 8 times a month-with his buddies. If wife is not allowed to do the same, should she choose to, or if she's stuck home all the time and he doesn't spend time with her and family, then there's a problem. As for calling, texting and basically "checking up" on him all night long-I wouldn't want him to do that to me-in fact, I would be livid if he did-so I wouldn't do it to him.
@jmathen (112)
• India
28 Jun 07
My family doesnt really go out that often ! once in a while he gets together with his friends for a drink, thats all... If he goes out and he is late, i will definitely call him and let me know where he is... I dont think any man should get angry for their wives asking where he is during a night time ! Its not always going to be "suspicious wives" that calls...For me, when you are living as a family , atleast the husband and wife should know where each other are in case any one of them is out... Just to make sure things are going alright... You never know, you might be in some sort of a trouble and you might not be able to contact the other person... Anyway, my husband has no problem with me calling him no matter where he is ...
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
27 Jun 07
Well, I think there is no problem on he telling you where is he going. There's nothing more fair than knowing where each other is. Just don't take precipitated conclusions: do not say he is cheating nor anything like that until you see it with your own eyes. Also, he shouldn't get angry. Why? He loves you, doesn't he?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
My husband and I rarely go out without each other. He pretty much refuses to do anything without me. If he were to decide to go somewhere on his own or with friends, I would want to know where he is and what he's doing. He wouldn't have a problem telling me. It's not that I don't trust him, but I have anxiety issues and constantly worry over my family's safety. Every 2 or 3 months I go out with two of my friends without him or their boyfriends, for a girl's night out. All 3 of us stay in contact with our significant others, so they know we are safe.
1 person likes this
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
28 Jun 07
my husband does not really go out without me maybe to go golfing or every other month with his friends but he is usally home by 9:00 10:00 at the lasest and He always tells me where he is going
• United States
28 Jun 07
I am not married but I don;t think I would be happy if my husband was going out 8 or more times a month.
@nuttmeg (440)
• United States
28 Jun 07
While I do know men who are married and go out to drink while remaining faithful, I still don't agree with it if it's an all-the-time thing. Secondly, I tend to think men (or women) who stay out often and so late in the evening AND gets upset about being asked is generally feeling guilty about something. I'm not necessarily saying the person would be cheating, but they are feeling defensive for a reason. Lastly, if it's a drinking thing and all that often, then that's just trouble brewing of its own accord and something to worry about, which might also be part of the reason for defensiveness. Is 8 times a month normal? Guess it depends on the person, the reason and who he/she is going out with, and whether or not the other person feels that they can be trusted.
• India
28 Jun 07
think it on a positiv way.talk 2 him and try 2 change him
• India
28 Jun 07
Well, it depends on the relationship, I think that if the wife minds his going out then in all fairness he shouldn't; on the other hand it's not really fair to expect your husband to stop going out with his friends altogether; I guess a balance has to be agreed upon by the both of you. In any case there's nothing wrong with calling your husband (or wife for that matter) to find out where they are and when they're coming home. In fact I would think that if my husband went out drinking then he would atleast have the courtesy to call and let me know that he's fine and can be expected home by a certain time.
@youless (112112)
• Guangzhou, China
28 Jun 07
If my husband goes home late, and most of the time he has an overtime work. At that time he will call me and let me know. And he even asks me to sleep and not to wait for him. I understand it but sometimes I will feel worried because it's not so safe to go home late. I'm afraid of the accident. So I will send him SMS, I won't call him most of the time. As I don't want to bother his work. As to drinking outside, it seldom happened. I also don't like the men who are not responsible for their families.
• India
28 Jun 07
I am a single but i feel that we have a right to ask about his goings without nagging....Even husbands should understand that we get worried and there is a family waiting for him and whtas wrong in asking about his move....
28 Jun 07
Hi, My Husband usually comes in time and very occassionaly he comes late night.During the time he comes late, firstly i will call him on his cellphone and ask about by what time he is expected. as and when he comes, should not ask him why he is late, this word makes him angry and quarrell starts. So, we shouldn't ask the once they enter home. After giving food etc. we can ask them and we have to talk to him about his late coming and because of that the problems arises. Once when we clear up their mind they will not do such a thing and they will look after their family.
@gotcho0O (1257)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Ofcourse I will. No, definitely not. Well, it depends actually. My boyfriend and I accepts the fact that we're both selfish and contacting just like the way you've said is fine to us. Picturing out my future with my boyfriend, I think it's cool if we will do it once a month but I'm surely will not let him go alone with his or our friends. In other hand, if he'll explain it to me clearly the answers to the why and where questions, I would probably let him go.
• United States
28 Jun 07
I don't believe most men are suppose to do that without their wives. My husband has never wanted to go out without me. He says we both need a break from the house. If my husband wanted time alone, I would be thinking he was up to no good and sure he would be telephoned. He shouldn't get angry if nothing is going on or if everything is innocent.
@aj2006 (1534)
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
On my own experience, since I get married, my husband pays respect to me so much that he will let me know where he is even day or night.. If its a party, a bussiness meeting or an overtime work, He makes sure I know his whereabouts.
@anij34 (317)
• United States
28 Jun 07
I never have to worry about my husband. If he is out late and I can't contact him then I worry for his safety, not him being promiscuous. Also, my husband doesn't drink unless I am around and we drink a whole 3 days out of the year. We have a very healthy relationship and I have no worries. I do worry about car accidents but who doesn't.
• China
28 Jun 07
i also want to know it. why some husbands are so nice and willing to take care of his family, and others are always only to do their own things, and hurt their wives. i don't know why they choose marrige if they are only want to arrange the time to themselves or spend the time and money to another woman
• United States
28 Jun 07
i think you have the right to ask he is your husband. i would call him. play an act or something and tell him hey i was just calling to tell you i love you and hope your haveing a great time and see you when you get home. sometimes the best thing to do is act like you dont care at all. i would have him sometime also if you could tag along so you guys could have a night out together. if that stuff dont work than he aint worth the time of worrie.