I can have this. But, you can't have that.

I'm actually much more likely to spoil my fiance than myself. I was just thinking the other day that I need to make sure he has spending cash each week, since he will be starting school in a week and a half, and will probably want sodas and snacks throughout the day. I am going to budget it slightly, but I'm still going to make sure that he has what he wants. Fortunately, though, I won't really be giving much up in order to give him a weekly "allowance." I will be giving myself the same amount each week, so that I can buy snacks or juice while I'm at work. I think, sometimes, that some people don't realize that a bunch of little purchases add up and often exceed a reasonable monthly payment. I always make sure there is room in my budget for internet service, and definitely not dialup!

It sounds like you handled that very well.... My husband does everything he can to try to make me happy...he would happily go with out something he wanted to get me something that I wanted.... BUT fortunately, I feel the same about him...I would go through fire to make him happy .... So it works out well for us...each thinking about the other's happiness without the pettiness that some couples seem to experience...if he is happy I am happy....if I do/get something for him that he really wanted....I know that he will be trying to figure out what I would like most... I am certain that the braodband is essential to your working online and will make your life so much easier... P.S. Tell hubby to buy his candy in bulk and he will save alot of money....

fortunately, my hubby is not like that to me... we always share and look for a win-win situation... life is about give and take and nobody can be selfish... isn't it??? i'm happy that you manage to get your broadband after all...

Some spouse do not understand their other half. They only see things on the spur of the moment and do not balance the long benefits of having a broadband. Unlike my spouse, I am more domineering between the two of us. Which I often don't like to be. He is a 'yes man' most of the time. My decision is important to him and what ever I decide he will give his support.

That is really dumb he can spend that much money on sweets and you can't have something that could be really useful to you! I think you should stand up to him and tell him to cut down on his spending of junk food and let you get the broadband.

Hi. My husbands trying to encourage broadband in our house, and I just wont allow it, because the deals here are not that great and the time spent online, by our house hold per month, will easily go over 200 MB per month with these plans, so I think at the moment we're better off as is, on dial up... Dial up maybe a little slow, but our plan is unlimited and we pay a under 15.00 per month, where is Broadband, and this is the "Basic Beginners Plan" which allows for 200 MB, at $29.95 per month, plus pay 2c Excess Usage, charged 2cents for every additional mega byte used, once you've used 200 MB... For me at the moment, its not worth the change in a hurry anyway, we may look at getting it in the future sometime...

No, my partner is very sensitive regarding my needs. If he think that I really like something, he let me have it as long as we can afford to buy it... Much more when he thinks that I'll be really needing it... He will find way for me to have it. I do the same to him...if he needs something that will help him then I find ways so that he can have it.

I was just reading and wondering why you didn't just use your work at home income to change to broadband, if you're earning enough online to cover it anyway? Maybe the way that you had approached him with the proposition made him defensive? Trying to look at it from your husband's perspective...if people do not understand the concept of work from home it is usually perceived as a lot of bunk to them, and understandably so. Anyway, I may be bashed for saying this, but there are two sides to every story and I think this was a petty thing to choose for arguing about. If I knew my spouse was going to keep a scorecard on how many times I purchased fast food, candy, or anything else after the bills were paid with money that I had earned myself, then I would become pretty rigid about the "give and take" going on in the relationship. When I was married, my kids and my three stepkids who lived with us full time (total of six) lived months without gas for cooking, and without food (aside from what I could purchase from my income alone) while my ex-husband drove semi-truck six days out of the week and ate whatever he wanted whenever he was hungry, and had six other women "on the side". I cooked all of our meals (mostly consisting of potatoes, bread, eggs, rice and pancakes since they were cheap) on a grill, electric griddle and in the microwave. Meanwhile, our youngest child rarely had milk or formula. I mentioned once that I wanted him to bring one of his girlfriend's home to help me with the kids, etc while he was gone all week. He didn't think it was funny. I wasn't joking.

hahah it sounds like you're getting the short end here, its good that you're doing something about it though. i think it was pretty childish of your husband to insist on getting his way when it is clear to you that he's catering to his own wants. i would be embarrassed if i was in your husband's place to be doing something like this. anyway i hope you're all fine with the way things have worked out ;)

My fiancee and I split the bills evenly. What we have left over from paying the bills is ours to do with as we see fit. If my fiancee wants something that she can't afford on her own all she has to do is ask me and I will help her purchase the item. The same goes for me. I don't think that it is right for one person in the relationship to get everything they want while the other person has to go without. If I might suggest why don't you pay all of the bills and then split the money that is left over equally.

My husband does this to me all the time. I cant afford many things. My fulltime job pays for BILLS only. I cant even afford to buy myself my own clothes. My WONDERFUL MIL does this for me...she takes me shopping about 3 times a yr for new clothes, socks, underware ect HUbby makes a little more than me. He dont help with ANYTHING. Granted, he does pay for the gas in the vehicles, car insurance and the car payment that he just had to have (although I do like the van we have) BUT he never helps out with groceries or things we need around the house. He wouldnt pay for me to have broadband...I had to pay for it myself, along with didgital cable and 2 movie channels for him. MEANWHILE.....I need a new computer. I cant afford one so I dont get one. He just went and got a BRAND NEW 2007 motorcycle that he is now making payments on. He rams everywhere on it, while I set home with the kids everyday and work at night FULLTIME everyday. (HE works as well) but spends his extra time riding the motorcycle. He dont even spend time with us anymore. I AM SOOO MAD THINKING ABOUT IT. Like I said he dont help with anything

There is some give and take in my relationship with my s/o (we're not quite married yet, but have been dating for almost a decade and living together for a while..) There have been times when we've both done that to each other a little bit, particularly in prioritizing the house repairs, but we've been able to confront each other and resolve it when it has happened. I think the fact that we both have similar income levels helps --- that and we do each keep some discretionary money seperate from the whole. Course we then end up sharing what we spent the money on in the first place a good chunk of the time-- Like tonight-- We're seeing Chicago in concert, and I picked up the tickets and will pay for the food this time.

I am happy to say that my spouse is not like this. He will inconvenience himself before me. We discuss the things we need, and decide which is more important together.

that is not very smart that is a waist of money sweets are not as good as having a faster internet that can help you purchase things faster and that is basically more effcient than the buying of sweets the ruin your pancrease you should take a stand before a good percentage of your income goes to pay little debbie

Actually, first of all, cleaning rags are much less expensive than paper towels. I go for that. I do agree with you in the case of the candy/snacks vs. broadband. My husband does the same thing, everyday all the time. He says we don't have money for ..whatever. Yet he always buys coffee, chocolate, hamburgers, donuts, etc. What is really aggravating is I buy food once every two months for my dog and I spend less than $20. Meanwhile he complains the dog is expensive and he is feeding four cats with my grocery money. Not bad enough he has to have FOUR...it's that he spends over $150 PER MONTH on freaking cat food. One of the cats is kind of mine, ok? I admit that. But one cat is still better than a total of four. I have also been arguing about the difference between one consolidation loan at 7% per month versus three credit cards, a car, and a mortgage. Let's see... can a fifth grader do the math to figure out which is cheaper? And he complains we have too many monthly payments but he won't go with me to fix it up. DUH. MEN!!!! grrrr

Wow beautyqueen, I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself and get what you wanted. It did sound like a doublestandard to me. I suppose that I am very fortunate in that hubby and I see eye-to-eye when it comes to financial matters. We are both frugral, but spend when needed. Neither of us indulge ourselves leaving the other without. Major expenses are discussed and we walk into them with our mind on the 'same page' so-to-speak. Perhaps your hubby has learned a valuable lesson in how to compromise? Lets hope so!

Wow! That's really stupid of him. (Slaps in on the face) Seriously, why would he be wasting so much money on sweets that aren't even good for him? Very stupid.

I used to have dial-up but when he realized what a difference it made for me the man of this house got broadband even though he doesn;t have a clue about the computer, never gets on it and doesn;t even know how to turn it on. Why don't you for one month ask your husband to put an equal amount that he spends on candy etc. into a jar so that you can see what the monthly cost is. Who knows - with whats in the jar at the end of the month the two of you might be able to go for a weekend break or some other treat that you might enjoy.

My spouse has never said that I couldn't have something, while induldging himself. We have to have a meeting of the minds when it comes to money and neither one of us has ever taken advantage by giving in to selfish needs as we both have the same goals. Frankly, if you work online at home, you need broadband. If nothing else, he has to see the value in that alone.

I'm the frugal one in our household. M hubby gets irritated when I won't spend ANY money on myself. I'm bad about saying "no I really don't want this anymore" then putting it back when i'm at the store. He used to be bad about spending 5 or 6 dollars daily n the debit card. He has more recently gotten better. It hit him that maybe me scrimping on grocery bill or not getting a new pair of shoes that I need could be remedied by him cutting back on the "useless" spending. However he has more fits that I won't go get myself a manicure now and then.. or I won't buy new clothes when I need them. Or the fact that I love new shoes they ar emy biggest vice and I won't buy myself a new pair even when I need it. He now (even though i do the budgeting and bill paying) takes so much from the account each week to spend on me.. which I find sweet yet annoying. I have everything I need being he denys me nothing. But I guess he thinks I spend too much time worrying about him and the kids not enough about mself